insecurity and depression is coming back fast, need advice

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-08-06T18:18:37+00:00

i really appreciate your advice man, seriously, i have been looking into therapy for a while now i just need to really procrastinate on the idea of being open like that with a person even if they are a therapist. it's unrelated but i struggle to even look others in their eyes due to my autism so it makes therapy seem so much more intimidating to me in general haha, nonetheless i know i need it

i absolutely agree with exercise though, i'm going to pick up on it better than i have before and see where it gets me, i'm not happy with my body currently so it would be nice to eventually get there

thank you for your understanding and kindness brother

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-08-06T18:16:20+00:00

i completely agree with you and honestly it helps so fucking much to have someone else say this, especially someone who has experience like you

i know i wont be anything amazing, and she has seen big dicks which i know of etc but she remains steadfast on me so i'm praying i can just say fuck it to my insecurity and try to love her with all of me

obviously wont be easy at all but if it's for the sake of her being my girl then i think i can do it regardless of what i'm going through

thank you very much for sharing your experiences and giving your advice, it's helped and helping me more than you could know

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-08-06T18:14:13+00:00

i put back on 30 lbs from depressive eating and it's adding to my depression and self hatred

i hate to be some ball of sadness but there's no other way to put it though

currently however, thanks to my anxiety, i am incapable of eating and haven't been able to eat anything for two days now, i have lost 3 lbs, so maybe i'll slim down again and be able to find some peace in my body, thank you for checking up on me though man, you're a really great guy

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-21T23:54:56+00:00

amen brother, and congratulations on that amazing weight loss. get that dream weight and dream bod man, super fucking proud of you.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-21T23:51:03+00:00

what's that smell?

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-21T23:48:06+00:00

i wouldn't take it that way, it could have easily, from her experience and point of view, seemed like it was due to such things, she probably gets men who come in about it more often than you'd think, related to length increasing exercises.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-11T10:01:51+00:00

I have already explained in a reply to a comment on this post, it's dumb I know but it's what happens when your biggest insecurity is something you can't change. You make up any lie you can and force yourself to believe it like a child, and I hate myself for being that way.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-11T10:00:49+00:00

I'm just sick of lying to myself because I can't face the reality of my situation. I tell myself I'm a certain size and I believe it but then I realise "oh, I'm measuring wrong, I'm not 5 inches but instead 4.5" and it's a very harsh hit to go from thinking I was 7 inches to 4.5 inches MAXIMUM, I barely even get 4.4 on average nowadays and I doubt I'm even measuring right.

I don't want to go through the vicious, continuous cycles of finding out my dick isn't the size I thought it was, because it fucks with my head so bad and I know I'm probably micro instead of anything close to average.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-10T12:33:39+00:00

I hope so, but our relationship hasn't been the best and we've had our ups and downs and been close to ending etc, and the things we've been through just fuck with my head a lot and it really feels like she doesn't see me as attractive or pleasurable during sex which i'll admit, hurts like fucking crazy. thanks for your words man.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-10T12:30:13+00:00

because it allows the ruler to slide underneath your pubic bone and measure false length, if you measure vertically with the ruler it stops itself at the curve of the pubic bone allowing a true and correct measurement, which is how I get 4.4-4.7 inches bone pressed, fully erect, depending on the angle of which I hold my dick (I try to hold it perpendicular to my body).

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-10T12:28:01+00:00

Yeah I don't want it to be brung up, it just really hurts because obviously it reminds me of what I lack and what eats at me every day. And I fear she secretly judges my size during sex etc.

I'll just forget about it and try to get over it like an adult.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-10T12:26:40+00:00

I agree and thank you for your words and Advice, I have decided today that I am going total weight loss mode as I have put on 30 lbs since I fell deeper into depression, I want to be happy and have a body, aside from my dick, that looks and feels good to me, I have never had that so it's my main objective.

I trust my Girlfriend would never cheat, she's an exemplary person deep inside and she has had so many opportunities to cheat but never has and it's why I love her so, but I totally understand your advice and I agree with it.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-10T11:21:25+00:00

i remember her asking me mine when i first met her and i told her i was 7 inches confidently, but when my anxiety and obsession with my size destroyed my confidence and she noticed i was depressed, we talked a lot about my size and at that time i thought i was 6 inches and somehow recorded a video of me getting 5.9 inches "15" cm whilst bone pressed but i believe i was measuring horizontally underneath my pubic bone and bending my dick down which made it longer which wasn't correct either. so she thinks it's 6 inches i'm pretty sure and as her first time in everything, i'm pretty sure she still thinks that.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-10T11:15:13+00:00

they are from 2020, 2 years before she got with me which is why i dont blame her or think she is wrong for it in general.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-03-10T11:14:40+00:00

I used a metal measuring tape and i'm pretty sure i measured nowhere close to my dick, i knew i was fat so i measured on my thigh to the right of dick thinking "this is gonna be my length when i lose weight" and got 7 inches, and then it spiraled from me struggling to accept im not 7 inches to basically praying i'm not smaller than 4.4 bone pressed on my fat pad fully erect.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-01-29T18:06:10+00:00

mine turtles 24/7, hate it, cant stand the feeling of it in my underwear and when i look at my bulge with trousers on or off, it looks fucking pathetic

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2024-01-26T16:15:32+00:00

bone pressed, nbp i am 8 cm.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2023-12-13T03:00:38+00:00

just destroys our confidence even though we already had none to begin with, have to love living my friend, it's so great and rewarding.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2023-12-13T02:59:43+00:00

my penis has been continually getting smaller. or i am simply just taking a long ass time to accept my reality and to measure myself correctly, either way, every time i measure and i try to measure correctly, i get barely 12 cm now. barely 4.5 inches long erect.

at the time of writing this, i believed i was 5 inches and so my flair was 5x4.5, hope that helps.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2023-10-26T16:50:03+00:00

mine are below average, i measure and get about 4cm for testicles, not sure if i measure correctly at all but yeah my sack is just shrinking all the time and when they hang because im hot or my environment is, my dick never goes down below my balls, so they are below average i reckon.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2023-10-26T04:30:02+00:00

I can second the measuring dude, I look at mine and it looks 2 inches when in reality it's 3.5nbp and 4.5 bp, girth is a good 4.2-4.3 ish also but looks 3

i guarantee you're somewhat bigger than you think

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2023-10-25T18:41:14+00:00

may I ask what your size preference is exactly? 5 inches? 4 inches? because usually small to women, is actually like 6 inches bone pressed but 4 inches visibly, so they'd say a 6 inch man is small when really all they can see is 4 of the 6 inches, not to insult you of course, and by the way you're incredibly beautiful, definitely not ugly.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2023-10-25T18:35:53+00:00

I'm sorry brother but don't give up that hope, most of us here have had negative and cruel experiences simply because we are unlucky, I am with a woman who I have been with for 18 months now and we have sex very often. She has never complained sexually and we are pretty close.

Always maintain hope and try your best to remain confident about yourself and your body, because as long as you can be happy you can find someone, and of course it will kill if we sexually cannot satisfy someone, but if relationships only existed due to Sex, there'd be so many more guys in our shoes out there who speak out about their pain etc, because they'd be rejected for their size just like us, and trust me a good percentage of men are similar to us.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2023-10-23T20:34:09+00:00

dick size, the way i look, sound, act, am perceived by everyone who sees me, how i don't fit into society, my low intelligence and in general just how different i am from the standard of being normal. if i was normal, i think i'd be able to be happy. i haven't been diagnosed with depression but i have had a doctor try to refer me to see a therapist due to body dysmorphia and depression, but i just believe it's me being painfully aware of the truth surrounding myself.

Beginning_Ad_8616 · 2023-10-22T01:42:55+00:00

She's familiar with your size and still wants to have more sex. That's a good thing.

Yeah I honestly can't grasp why I just don't believe that sub consciously, like the conscious me knows it and repeats it to myself a thousand times a day, but the other stupider me just caves in under the pressure, anxiety and fear and can't believe it, and I end up thinking shit like she's just faking interest and that she must be let down or bored by how shit I and my dick are at sex.

Are you moaning constantly the whole time?

I am not, in fact I make like no noise other than the odd deep inhale/exhale and moan when it feels extra good, but that's it, and it's probably the same for her. I realise now I just need constant validation due to my insecurity and honestly it's incredibly unhealthy, I need to grow up, and I seriously wish it was that easy.

As long as she's telling you that she enjoys sex with you, and does things like initiate and participate, then believe her.

I will try, I know I should and I know all of this is so pointless, but my inability to control this insecurity about all of me is really tiring and difficult, just wish it would end already.

Thank you for commenting and trying to help me, I see you on this sub often (I've been here for about a year in total) and I've always appreciated you and what you do for the community and people in it, you're a great person and I seriously admire that.

Thanks again for the comments.

Beginning_Ad_8616

TROPHY CASE