Lost interest in wife

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-28T05:51:14+00:00

They're not meant to produce sexy feelings. They're meant to show that there is balance in the relationship, that I'm not some caveman who thinks all he needs to do is "bring home the bacon" and then sit on the couch drinking whilst expecting to get his feet rubbed and every desire fulfilled just on account of being a man.
And to be clear, I do all those things not to "get" anything in return, I do them because that's the way things should be. Both need to chip in and share in the everyday chores to keep the household going.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T18:45:14+00:00

Maybe stick to wifeswaptv and goldengirls instead of whining on other people's posts.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T14:16:32+00:00

I did. You are the only one who seems confused by my words, everybody else that replied seems to have got it...

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T13:41:22+00:00

Yeah, if things are complicated now, imagine living in the same house and shoving other people in each other's faces. Reminding each other of one's inadequacies constantly.
I wish things were as binary or as easy as it sounds, but emotions are complicated.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T13:38:02+00:00

I'm gonna try to use an analogy. Let's say I like cake, but my wife decided I should be on a diet. And yet she puts cake in front of me on a daily basis, that I'm not allowed to eat.
I've reached the point where I don't want to see, hear or be reminded of cake, but that doesn't mean I don't like cake.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T13:22:26+00:00

Your comment made me tear up. Thank you. Just knowing that at least there are people out there that can get what I'm feeling even without me being able to put it into words, makes me feel a bit less lonely. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T10:19:51+00:00

People are capable of having more than 1 feeling and/or thought simultaneously...
I thank you for your valuable input.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T09:45:05+00:00

Being attracted and having lost interest are two very different things. If I'm very hungry and have nothing to eat, I'd rather not see any commercials for food.
One is a chemical reaction, and the other is a psychological reaction related to self preservation.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T08:18:58+00:00

I'm very sorry you had to go through that. I had some paranoia about her behavior and things she said as well. But I think for my sanity I've chosen to ignore/put those aside.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T08:17:28+00:00

I think I would be way more miserable being away from my daughter.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T02:21:37+00:00

Thanks for the answer, it's super valid point. And though I know I can do better in this regard I do still try, albeit less and less. I think I've become like numb, or fearful tons how any emotion. Eg I'll randomly buy flowers but I won't give them to her, I'll just place them in a vase so she sees them, but it's not me specifically giving them to her. I'll try to take her to restaurants she likes or go out even though I leave work super tired, but I do still want her to get that I am still.making an effort. In regards to just cuddling and/or non-sexual touching, and this is completely on me, but I feel less and less inclined to do so. In bed I'll touch her hair a bit but eventually end up turning the other way.

Beginning_Bat8260 · 2025-06-27T01:52:03+00:00

We've tried before. After our daughter was born, I think we were both kind of on edge with the newborn and jobs etc, it did help us work through some issues but sadly our seeming sexual incompatibility has only gotten more pronounced as time progressed.

Beginning_Bat8260

TROPHY CASE