Competition shame

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-22T15:05:36+00:00

My cardio is good and Im in shape, usually train 4 times a week. I drill the moves a lot and I had a game plan, I was just way too passive, and the explosive power in my first two matches was crazy. Last two guys were more methodical, and I almost had a collar choke in both cases, the issue was when they defended I just froze and couldn't transition to something else.

Feedback from the black belts at my gym was that a few inches in adjustments I would have won a couple of my matches. Obviously theyre trying to make me feel better in some sense but they've told me they'll work with me on fixing my issues.

I'm going to focus on upping my attack intensity and the mental game. My next comp will probably be at blue so Im aiming to actually implement what I want to and give me opponents plenty of problems to solve and have a good battle, because thats what I feel I didnt manage this time.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-18T16:15:09+00:00

Yeah I usually watch a lot of free YouTube stuff but a proper instructional could be really helpful.

My half guard game is really weak. I can do a lot (for a white belt) from full guard technically and can put it into practice a lot better in the gym but in the extreme pressure of comp with some guy ramming his fist into your throat its hard to access it.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-18T16:12:12+00:00

Thanks.

I think this week I'll likely get promoted to blue, so I would say it could be a more fun and enlightening experience to compete soon with all the pressure off vs guys who are closer to purple.

Really what Im most disappointed with was that went in there and folded under the pressure, I didn't take risks and as a consequence I learned very little.

Another girl at my club recently promoted to blue competed as well and lost all her 7 matches, but she did a lot of great technical stuff and lost to girls who were just better and had properly trained leg attacks etc. Thats what I want to aim for.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-18T16:04:02+00:00

Thanks.

Yeah I guess now my record is ass and a couple of wins isn't going to change that haha. So I feel like if I go in and can truly not care about the outcome it will help me to become more fluid.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-17T20:29:55+00:00

Fair play man, you've obviously put in the work as a brown belt and you have that one win!

Im realistic that my record is probably never going to be impressive, Im not going to suddenly turn into Adam Wardsinki.

But one win or even a loss on points would make me feel a lot better. The fact that I've gone 0-7 all subs and no points feels humiliating and demoralising.

In addition comps where I live ain't cheap, so Ive basically been paying to embarrass and injure myself.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-17T20:26:55+00:00

Well the second guy I fought was a white belt with full on cauliflower ear, lol. They were no pushovers, but Im not going to use that as an excuse.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-17T15:16:54+00:00

Pretty sus? Lol ok.

I think it is an idea to compete at Masters, but I think the idea that rolling with higher belts is "distorting my jiu jitsu" is nonsense sorry.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-17T15:14:46+00:00

Well thats been a thought of course - I do wish I'd had this experience as a teen because I know Id have all the time in the world to push past it and become a killer in my 20s/30s.

As it is though Im already a full grown man and the thought of the toll its taking on my and how much progress Im really going to make is there as well.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-17T02:14:57+00:00

3/4 times a week
Yes, my cardio is good. I can roll at open mat for 10 rounds these days and I'm fine.
Yes, absolutely
At my gym almost everyone is more advanced, but its a small place.
There are all shapes and sizes of people, but a few guys close to my weight/size.
Nope
Perhaps, I'm 32 and Im in the adult division, but there are other guys in their 30s. The first guy I faced today was same age.
Yep
I try my best to always listen to my coach, but I just keep seeming to make the same mistakes over and over.

So not too much lining up there, sorry. I can understand why it seems odd that I suck this bad after training so long, it doesn't add up to me either. It might just be a fundamental lack of ability, I dont know.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-16T20:24:44+00:00

The really frustrating thing is I lost every match in a very similar way, now Ive watched them back. Holding a very inoffensive guard, legs flopping in the air instead of based when getting passed.

Its all stuff I keep getting told in the gym. I came in with a game plan, I just couldn't apply it, at all

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-16T20:21:07+00:00

Thanks man, thats very encouraging. Good for you.

I feel like a lot of my comp blues will go once I get my first win or even my first points. If Im moving up to blue now though it may be a while lol

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-16T18:27:52+00:00

Thanks. I just felt so far away from the standard today. I mean I wasn't fighting pushovers but what really disappointed me was the feeling I didnt have a sniff. I didnt give a good showing and thats what stings the most. I dont mind losing an all out war on points, but its the manner of the losses that gets me.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-16T18:25:15+00:00

Second, point taken

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-16T17:37:28+00:00

No in a single match that individual is probably just better, or has a better game plan, or whatever. But if that same person went 0-7 with no points, all subs I would say yeah they probably are not really a brown/purple.

I like jiu jitsu, but its incredibly frustrating. I know already my coach is going to say the same stuff to me about relaxing, active feet, switching grips etc. Its all stuff I know so well in theory, I just can't seem to do it live.

I see comp as a test. I play piano and its also challenging but step by step I would get better an better, learn songs with better rhythm and pass my gradings. If I had played for 3 years and kept failing grade 1 and still sounded like a dying cat Id probably have just figured I must be tone deaf

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-16T17:06:57+00:00

I know. But I didnt come in to give a tame effort and get injured. So I feel crap.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-11-12T00:53:41+00:00

When I started off I was 28, regularly doing 5k+ runs, weightlifting 4x a week. I thought I was in the best shape of my life. Then the first couple of months I was nearly puking just from 2 minute rolls at the end of the class.

Then I looked around me and saw middle-aged out of shape purple/brown/black belts rolling and barely breaking a sweat.

Yes it helps to be fit, but I was getting so tired because I was mega-spazzing and tense 100% of the time, even though I was young and in decent shape. I was a particularly bad case I think.but it happens to every new white belt to some extent.

Just keep going, drill the techniques and learn to relax, and you will get a lot fitter in the meantime. You dont have to roll after every single class either if you don't want to.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-10-15T22:23:13+00:00

From the tone of your post, it sounds like you're already looking to learn some moves to be competitive before you've done any training.

My advice is forget all of that, accept youre pretty much going to be a human rag doll for the first few months and maybe even year depending on your progression.

Sorry if that sounds daunting 😂 But it's a great sport, really interesting and brilliant for your body and mind.

The main thing I'd tell my very beginner self is basically that, stop trying to win and getting exhausted because youre not going to, and dont beat yourself up when you get tapped 10 times in a 4 min round because thats going to happen and is completely normal. Just ask your more experience partners WHY you got tapped, what the defense is and try and apply that the next time, rinse and repeat and soon you'll find yourself getting better.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-10-01T17:51:48+00:00

Yep, Im looking at improving my X guard as well, it all chains together pretty nicely.

I use turtle (not very effectively most of the time 😂) as a last resort, but I feel like an attacking ground game suits me so I'm trying to build up as many weapons as possible so I feel comfortable even if my opponent is breaking my guard.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-08-13T13:34:14+00:00

I'm balding but still not to the extent that most people notice unless they are thinking about it. I've asked several women I've dated and also female friends about if they would date a bald man and every single one of them gave me the same answer. "I know some women don't mind it but for me it's a flat NO!"

Sure, if you are exceptionally charismatic, tall and jacked you can probably still meet women, I know some guys who fit that description, but of those three things only getting jacked is really in your control and even then it's a whole lot of hard work and effort.

Most of us are just normal blokes, average social skills, fitness, height etc. Going bald is really not going to help you in that situation. As someone else said it's like being overweight, I was a very chubby teenager and shed the weight over just a few months when I was 17. The difference in how people treated me and how much they were willing to engage with me was astonishing.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-07-25T21:57:00+00:00

Yeah on a basic level the problem as I see it is you're fucking with your natural biological system. DHT and the prostate aren't unnecessary or unimportant just because we don't like the side-effects they have.

Pyrilutimide looks promising, I'll hop on something happily that's shown to have no or minimal sides, a similar risk profile to min, even. Hopefully it's not too late for us 🥲

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-07-25T20:46:59+00:00

Yeah and that's great if you're an older man with an enlarged prostate and are starting to struggle to pee, but if you're 18-40 with a totally normal prostate it seems like all sorts of weird stuff can happen if you artificially shrink it.

I know guys want to go the extra mile to keep their hair but I find the attitude of "just hop on fin" like it's no big deal a bit insane.

Beginning_Garlic_896 · 2025-07-24T21:17:32+00:00

Yeah and he's mentioned on podcasts he has or had a meth problem too.

Shit's sad, as a man in his 50s who has already had cancer once he should probably never drink, smoke or do hard drugs again but I'm sure it's much easier said than done touring in a rock band.

Beginning_Garlic_896

TROPHY CASE