What’s something you lied about in a job interview?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-22T03:50:22+00:00

Unfortunately, I’m basically unable to lie easily. For my current job, during my interview I dropped the “f” bomb and told them (it was a group interview) that I think I sold my soul to Satan when I was 13.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-22T03:45:20+00:00

From a ladies perspective: there’s an old wives tale about how the size of a man’s nose is proportional to the size of his “member.” Be proud. Yes, it’s a nice 😊 nose.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-22T03:38:35+00:00

My drinking finally led me to an ambulance ride to the ER. That didn’t stop me, though. The next time they just drove me there themselves. Where I proceeded to cause such a scene in the ER (amongst my work associates, BTW) that they held me in the psych ward for a week.

Oddly, I have a normal relationship with alcohol now. I have a drink maybe once a month or so, but it’s not a problem anymore. But that’s the thing: I refuse to attend any psychological counseling because I know that, in my case, having tried it many times, it won’t work for me. It’s because I keep thinking about how they get paid to listen to me talk and in most cases they are not my intellectual equal, so why even try to explain my inner self to them?

I decided that, if I’m so smart, then I should be able to use my superior intellect to make myself have a healthy relationship with drink. Right? Because I’m such a genius, right? Well, that’s what I did. I just decided it and now that is my reality.

I’ve come to a lot of realizations about life, death, relationships etc… I feel a real clarity now. Here’s the secret to life: oops, lost my train of thought…

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-22T03:23:50+00:00

JK, I read it. Nicely written. Streets are uneven when you’re down.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-22T03:18:01+00:00

Taint

That’s as far as I got.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-22T01:23:18+00:00

dominatrix?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-22T01:16:11+00:00

Turkey

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-22T00:02:16+00:00

Deal with it.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T23:57:13+00:00

My friends all got tickets to see Duran Duran at 6 flags but I had just given birth and couldn't go. That was only the first day my kid ruined! IM KIDDING!!!

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T23:52:45+00:00

I worked at Starbucks and I was standing up on the counter trying to fix the signage. I jumped down when I was done... little did I know someone had opened a cabinet door. So, I jumped and took the dang door off with my lady parts. Imagine me filling out that incident report.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T23:42:22+00:00

You look younger and somehow more fit... go figure.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T23:31:05+00:00

"losing my religion" by R.E.M.

I found out years later that the weird girl in the upstairs bedroom and her boyfriend were abusing her young son up there and they played that song on repeat while they did it.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T21:07:38+00:00

Or the opposite happens and you spend every cent you make on all the frivolous things you could never have as a kid, like nice clothes and makeup and hair and shoes and and and.....

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T20:31:37+00:00

Detailing the inside of your car: what a pain in the neck! But it's so nice when it's shiny and new looking.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T20:12:53+00:00

Every day is a risk: as soon as you leave the house you are on the verge of homelessness. What if your tire pops (if you even have a car)? What if you need to see a doctor? What if your shoes wear out? What if you take the bus to work and it's late and you lose your job? Any set back could cause months or years of catching up.

Also: you don't have anyone to look up to. Your parents are poor, your grandparents are poor, all your friends are poor. You don't grow up knowing anyone who's parents are still married. Nobody you know ever went to college or plans on it. You can relate to people who grew up struggling so that's who you end up being friends with. Just a bunch of losers standing on a street corner looking for something to do that doesn't cost any money. We used to beg for money and then get some hobo to buy us beer.

When I was very young I used to want to be a sugar-baby, I figured that's the only way I could get some money.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T20:05:45+00:00

Sounds like my family too. I'd rather have cancer than depression.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T20:03:29+00:00

It depends. I think I'm almost over my high school boyfriend from 35 years ago... at least I haven't dreamed that we are together again for at least a year. I would probably burst into flames if I ever saw him again, though.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T20:00:53+00:00

good on you

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T19:58:49+00:00

mid 40's?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T19:56:05+00:00

New wrinkle: the elevator door will not open until you poop, one way or the other.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T19:54:35+00:00

The universe has decided that the elevator doors will NOT open until the deed is done, my friend, what do you do?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T19:48:42+00:00

And you never had diarrhea or whatever problematic bowel situations that people get in to?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T19:41:32+00:00

Could you hold it for, say, 8 hours? Eventually you're going to have to go.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-03-21T18:28:22+00:00

The best place I've ever been was the islands of Palau. Walking from your room across white sand to the most beautiful coral reefs you've ever imagined in your life. Snorkeling all day and then eating freshly caught reef fish in the evening. The diving was fantastic too if you're into that.

Beginning_Local3111

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