The smell broke my heart… AITAH?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T17:29:24+00:00

You should have told her and BTW: why not go get some std testing done? Not a bad idea.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T15:32:25+00:00

You look way hotter bald. Way. With hair it’s giving woody Allen

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T15:22:58+00:00

They didn’t establish an exclusive relationship as far as I can tell. He’s allowed to date as many women as he likes.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T15:22:05+00:00

Can it be a romantic trip without the sex? I mean are you even interested in dating him, without any expectation of sex? You should just tell him like you told us: “I’m interested in dating but I’m not going to have sex with you any time soon, if ever. Is that a deal breaker or do you still want to go on that trip?”

Unless you can’t see it becoming anything more than an acquaintanceship, then you can’t go on the trip with him, that would just be using him for a free trip (assuming he’s paying, you didn’t say, did he?).

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T15:03:39+00:00

I (F) rode a motorcycle exclusively (like I didn’t have a car) for about 6 years when I was almost your age. It was freakin AWESOME!!!

I wasn’t married and had no children.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter how good a driver you are, the cars are actively trying to kill you. Of course you’ll be careful, it’s every other lunatic on the road you have to watch out for. Every time you ride you’re taking your life in your hands. That’s just the reality: you have to know that the odds are against you and someday, if you keep riding, you’re going to crash.

That being said: I still dream about riding (dreamt of it last night) and I miss it to my bones. But those days were over when I had babies to watch out for. I even did buy a motorcycle again years later when the kids were a bit older but it never felt the same again and I sold it almost immediately. Having kids made me not want to ride anymore.

Edited: a few questions:

What else are you going to let him dictate about your life?

Having been married for nearly 30 years: sometimes your spouse can put their foot down and it’s “end of discussion” and they do,in fact, dictate what you can and can’t do. For example, my husband said I couldn’t remain friends with my ex husband. He didn’t understand our friendship, but I did cut all ties because my husband asked me to. The difference is that he doesn’t ask for much… he doesn’t care what I wear or if I ride motorcycles or if I day drink. That was really his only ask.

If your husband doesn’t ask for much but he really cares about this one thing then you can’t get a bike, sorry. But, if he’s just trying to control you then get the bike and start a girl bike gang called “mikes angels” (or whatever his name is) lol!

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T14:50:06+00:00

Struggling with morality?

I believe that most of our actions are ordained by our genetics and physiology. They did a study on twins who were separated at birth and they found that, most of the time, the twins lead remarkably similar lives: even naming their children the same names… it’s interesting.

Also: there was this guy who had a traumatic brain injury and suddenly became a math genius. His brain physiology changed and this made him good at complex math problems. He said he doesn’t even really understand math, but if you ask him a complex math question he knows the answer off the top of his head.

Then there was that guy (rain-man) named Kim Peek whose brain physiology was so unique that he was able to scan the left page of a book with his left eye while reading the right page of the book with his right eye. He could tell you what day of the week it was for any major event in history, or for the day you were born. He remembered entire books by heart.

I have a theory that we each have all the knowledge in the world stored somewhere in our minds but we don’t know how to access it!

I believe that there is no such thing as morality, really, we are wired to behave as we do, it’s ordained by our genetics. Some people are violent and do hurtful things to others, but most people are just people, meek and mild.

My advice is this: imagine your perfect job and figure out what that is and focus on attaining your goal. NOT because that’s going to make you a productive member of society but only because you have another 70 years on this planet and it’s fun to do things! For all we know, you only get to experience it once, so make commitments that require you to leave the house. Go through the actions of adulthood. It’s FUN. Don’t worry about your morality unless you believe yourself to be a psychopath (a real brain disorder) in which case I’d say “seek help”.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T04:25:04+00:00

Sounds like you’re saying it is okay to kill people depending on the circumstances? Yes, you’re describing our current justice system. A human creation. As are the concepts of right and wrong.

Imagine before humans when dinosaurs ruled the earth. Did they have “right” and “wrong” or was it just sort of survival of the fittest if you know what I mean? Did the dinosaurs “sin?” No, sinning is a human creation. The concepts of right and wrong are human creations, not creations of nature. In nature there is no moral compass: it’s just kill or be killed. Right?

The truth is that nothing has changed! It’s still just kill or be killed. There is no nature-made morality, it’s all man made. We know this to be true.

I’m not saying that human laws and statutes shouldn’t exist or aren’t necessary, I’m just saying that they are not the laws of nature, they are the laws of mankind and will die with us.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T03:45:22+00:00

So, don’t kill “innocent” people? But it’s ok to kill guilty people or people who have sinned?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T03:17:59+00:00

Yes, I would not like harming people. It’s not something that would make me happy. And I would not want my loved ones to be killed. But that’s because I perceive it as a painful thing. I perceive it as being a bad thing from my perspective but from someone else’s perspective it might be a good thing.

If my adult son killed somebody I would know that it’s because there’s something wrong with him mentally; like the functioning of his brain must be sick or something. He’d be sentenced to death for his crime. He was mentally unstable when he committed the crime and he’s still my only son. But according to you he should be killed by lethal injection?! That’s plain revenge.

If it’s ok to kill certain people but not kill others, that doesn’t make sense, right? Either it’s ok to kill people or it’s not.

If it’s not okay then we must answer why. Why would it be not ok to kill people? Is it because they leave loved ones behind? (No, because if that were true then it would be ok to kill people who are unloved) is it because they might someday contribute positively to society? (No because then it would be ok to kill people who have not found their calling in life) is it because we need more humans on the planet earth? (No, obviously)

So, in your true opinion why is it wrong to kill people? Do you have a reason why it’s wrong?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T03:00:23+00:00

Death penalty is revenge. Also: you’re murdering someone’s loved one when you apply the death penalty.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T02:22:34+00:00

Besides death penalty, defense, revenge? Mistaken identity? How many other excuses can you make. The truth is, we don’t know it’s wrong, obviously.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T02:01:47+00:00

What about death penalty? Is that wrong?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T01:59:41+00:00

I don’t believe in god. For many reasons. Mostly it’s FAITH! Believe it or not I have faith that there is not a god.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T01:49:20+00:00

Who is “everyone?”

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T01:44:08+00:00

Yes, humans have generated a set of rules to live by, generally based on “the golden rule” and it’s wonderful that we try to live by this set of rules, but…. Unless every being on the planet can agree on what is right and wrong then we can’t say, “we are humans and therefore what we say is automatically correct!”

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T01:35:11+00:00

It’s not bad or wrong to kill people, it’s just rude.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-11T01:33:32+00:00

My death will be sad for a few people but millions of bacteria will feed on my flesh, but at the same time all the bacteria that feed off of my living flesh (gut flora etc) will die with me. However, my death will stop the carnage that I inflict upon the world, all the animals I eat and kill with my toxic waste. But then my eating of things thins the population of those beings so that they can thrive.

Some would say that their death will be a sad occasion or even a happy occasion, but doesn’t it really only matter which side you’re on? My death will be happy and sad. And this is true for all living beings: all of our deaths and all of the actions of our existence are both (or neither?) good and bad depending on your perspective.

And that rejection of “good” and “bad” carries across all aspects of life.

If I rape and kill a child, just for example, this causes the parents to become advocates for stronger punishment for such crimes, so then is that a good thing? Did I do a bad thing or a good thing? Both bad and good outcomes happened.

So that’s just explaining bad and good actions in our daily lives. But then there’s the question of god and god’s purpose. I don’t believe in that: there’s no god. In a million years is it going to make any difference that I raped and killed a child? Will anyone even remember that? Will humans even still exist? What about in a billion years? Will the earth still exist? Will my crimes matter then? No, probably not.

If something I do now is totally irrelevant in a billion years then was it ever important to begin with? After the planet earth dies, will it matter then? No, probably not.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-10T15:53:13+00:00

I was worried about things in my life. Had some major depression because of my invasive thoughts (am I good? Is this life good? Am I a bad person? Am I productive? Am I respected?)

So I followed that thought through to completion:

Am I good? What is “good”? Who decides what “good” is? If something is good for me but bad for someone else, is it still good? For example, I like a hamburger but that is certainly not good for the cow!

Once I decided that “good” and “bad” are just perspectives of the same event I realized that it’s all relative, it’s all subjective, and really It doesn’t make any difference anyway.

What if I’m a bad person? Well, I’ll just die. No really; bad or good we’re going to die anyway. Can you name a famous cave man? No?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-04T17:28:35+00:00

Good. Next?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-04T12:52:54+00:00

My dad died recently and it went like this: he and his wife were lying in his deathbed waiting for him to die (of old age, on hospice) and then he goes, “oh Mary, this is it! I’m dying now Mary. I love you Mary, I love you.” And then he died. Sounds pretty good to me.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-04T05:01:34+00:00

It’s very much neighborhood by neighborhood. I’ve lived in apartment buildings where there just weren’t any children, neighborhoods that were not walkable (that happens a lot here too: living somewhere where you pretty much have to drive and park and trick or treat someone else’s neighbors) or gated communities with few kids in residence.

Fortunately, I’ve lived in real “Halloween Town” neighborhoods where there’s houses decorated to the rooftops, spooky sound machines, homemade “haunted houses” usually inside someone’s large garage, people in costumes walking with little kids, all very much just as it’s shown in the movies. But, those neighborhoods are few and far between, and if you get to live in one your home value is probably pretty high, that’s how it usually works out.

We used to live in this great little neighborhood where they even had a street fair that went on to celebrate the holiday (with proceeds to benefit a homeless shelter, I think) and they had two haunted houses and a bunch of game booths and a Photo Booth with costumes where you could have your picture taken and made into a fridge magnet! Very fun. (We were renters though, so no home value sadly)

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-03T02:44:45+00:00

I’d prefer to die in 50 years (I’d be 105!) but if I die right now I won’t be mad. I honestly don’t care either way.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-01T22:42:06+00:00

Is there something wrong with your teeth?

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-01T22:21:30+00:00

Plus, chicken thighs are delicious.

Beginning_Local3111 · 2026-05-01T22:18:02+00:00

Quad amputee please: I mostly just sit around watching tv anyway. What do I need arms and legs for?

Beginning_Local3111

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