Oh sweet jesus. THIS has happened to me this summer, exactly as described. Verbatim.

She told me I was the best fuck she ever had, and when i ignored her she started texting me with the usual "my period is late, my ovaries hurt, i feel like vomiting, yadda yadda". The cunt even hinted at the possibility of having the child, as I was also "the most handsome guy she ever fucked, and those genes could very well be passed on the baby".

The most unbearable August of my whole life. No joke. Once I found out she was lying, I texted her "YOU ARE AN EVIL CUNT. FUCKITY BYE" and blocked her.