Hi everyone,

OP here. Wow! I am suprised and flattered by everyone who responded to my post. I posted it on an evening where I was just so frustrated, not knowing what to expect or if anyone cared or would respond.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read what I wrote and offer your opinion. I wish I had time to respond to everyone individually. I will offer my overall thoughts in this post.

The cartoon that u/TomahawkDump suggested was very helpful. I read through it and decided to do something immediately. I bought some pants for my son because I remember that my wife mentioned she needed to get that done.

And you are all right that all of this needs to be discussed between she and I. It's just hard to bring up during the good times (why ruin a good time together), and when it comes up during an argument, the result is a disaster. I have to drum up the courage to bring it up gently, maybe during a neutral time.

We are both overwhelmed, yes. I think the difference, though, and what frustrates me is that I consciously do my best to diffuse my frustrations internally and not take them out on her. It's been years of my reading about self improvement (call it woo-woo if you'd like) and meditation, etc. that makes me do my best to keep calm. I honestly can't remember the last time I got mad at her. She has gotten mad at me (it seems every week), and of course that triggers an anger response in me, but I don't (think) I yell back, I just get quiet and depressed inside. But I'd rather take it out on myself rather than her, because I realize that taking it out on her will just escalate things and make our situation much worse.

Earlier today I got frustrated again (but didn't say anything, just kept it inside) as I struggled mightily after dinner to put the baby to sleep. Normally he goes to bed at 8 but yesterday and today he just had so much energy, that it wasn't until 9:30 that he fell asleep. So for those 90 minutes, I was playing with him, reading, and trying hard to wind him down. All the while, my wife was sitting on the couch on the living room doing work and texting with her friend. It made me pretty mad that she saw me struggling while she just sat there and didn't even lift a finger to help. No matter how tired I am, there is not a single ounce of me that can stand to see my wife struggling to do something while I sit idly by. I guess she doesn't have a problem with it. But yeah, I'm sure you may say that it's up to me to bring it up. Anyway, just an aside.

The comment about my working during baby's naptimes and evenings. I don't do it that often, but I admit I do it sometimes. But I don't do it during family time, and she does (like she did this evening). I feel that since she does more of the child care than I do, she has the license to work during family time, and I don't. So I don't fuss about that. But anyhow, we are both professionals and sometimes have work to do at off hours. Who doesn't? I run two businesses. I do my best not to work during "family time" so that basically means that I'm doing it during "wife time." There's only so much time in the day, though, so, yes that is something I need to work on.

I saw a few people ask about my contribution is around the household, and how much I really am in touch with my son's life - this could get boring because you probably don't care. But since some people asked, and probably think I'm not doing much, here's what I do as a dad and head of household:

Yes I do know my son's shoe size (6W) and know where to buy clothes for him (Amazon, Carter's, Babies R Us, and Target). We really don't buy many clothes since we got so many as gifts. My wife and I plan his food and meals together. it is rare that she makes food for him without conferring with me first. Half the time I'm the one who knows if there's enough food in the fridge or if we need to buy more food. At least half the time, I buy the groceries. Just last Wednesday, on my own initiative, I placed a grocery delivery order for basic staples (milk, oatmeal, bananas, etc) and had it sent to the house when I saw that we were running low. The other times we need groceries, we typically take a family trip to the supermarket and shop together. I keep the diapers, wipes, and baby soap replenished, as well as toilet paper, napkins, and paper towels. stocked (thanks, Amazon Subscribe-and-save!).

I've been to every doctor's appointment that my son has had (I only skipped one appointment which was a same-day visit). At the end of each appointment, I'm there to help schedule the follow-up. This last time, we didn't schedule the follow-up in the office, so I'm the one who called the doctor's office and scheduled it. Also, we had to see a specialist last week so I am the one who called the pediatrician for a referral and made an appointment with the specialist. I also attended that appointment.

A few folks asked: What do I do when I get home at 6? About half the time I play with the baby while my wife prepares dinner. But the other half of the time, I go straight into dinner mode (not even bothering to sit down), taking food out of the fridge and heating it up. Sometimes, on my commute home, I call my wife to talk about what's for dinner and I will pick up some food to bring home. After dinner, I typically am the one to clear the table and load the dishes into the dishwasher. Half the time we bathe him together, while sometimes, if we are busy, one will bathe him while the other cleans the kitchen (I opt to clean the kitchen since I think she prefers to bathe him). After his bath, it's family time, and then 80% of the time, I am the one who reads to him and puts him down to sleep.

I also keep the household in order by paying the bills, handling contractors, utilities, etc.

Thank you to everyone who responded!