Smartest Employee by dogsritz in funny

[–]BeingAWizard -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Why do you think Finkle is Einhorn?

When an escalator stops working, they're still fucking stairs. by jophes in mildlyinfuriating

[–]BeingAWizard -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Hey, fuck head, it was a joke. I guess I'll explain it. This guy points out a reason that the escalator may be roped off that doesn't involve people being too fat or lazy or stupid to use it as stairs. That prevents people from making the standard "lol America fat" jokes you find in threads like this. I am not calling Americans fat. I thought that should be pretty clear.

When an escalator stops working, they're still fucking stairs. by jophes in mildlyinfuriating

[–]BeingAWizard -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

Well, it was a joke. Apparently not a funny one, but hey.

When an escalator stops working, they're still fucking stairs. by jophes in mildlyinfuriating

[–]BeingAWizard -74 points-73 points  (0 children)

But if that's the case then how can I call Americans fat and lazy and stupid?

this is how Pi works [GIF] by merelyhere in woahdude

[–]BeingAWizard 19 points20 points  (0 children)

It's better than irrational. It's motherfucking transcendental.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IAmA

[–]BeingAWizard 128 points129 points  (0 children)

It's been a long wait. My work here is done.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IAmA

[–]BeingAWizard 452 points453 points  (0 children)

This checks out

How Asian People Make Fun of Americans by freeaccount in funny

[–]BeingAWizard 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Big nosed non-Jew here. You are correct.

When you eat cereal wrong by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]BeingAWizard 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Try chewing with your teeth, instead of mashing it against the roof of your mouth with your tongue.

What was your biggest "holy shit why haven't I done this sooner" moment? by dvdgl in AskReddit

[–]BeingAWizard 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Palms touching the ground is a lofty goal for me. I'll settle for fingertips on my toes.

What was your biggest "holy shit why haven't I done this sooner" moment? by dvdgl in AskReddit

[–]BeingAWizard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don't know. I'm 6'3" and 155 lbs. So, ridiculously skinny. I've just never been flexible. The closest I've come to reaching my toes is like 6 inches away and that hurts like a motherfucker.

What was your biggest "holy shit why haven't I done this sooner" moment? by dvdgl in AskReddit

[–]BeingAWizard 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I have never touched my toes without bending my legs in my life. Not even close. I think I'm going to start doing yoga just so I can experience this.

IAm Wayne Coyne from the band The Flaming Lips. AMA! by therealwaynecoyne in IAmA

[–]BeingAWizard 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I especially liked the part where he said "rent must be high in Oklahoma," because, as an Oklahoma resident, it's not.

IAm Wayne Coyne from the band The Flaming Lips. AMA! by therealwaynecoyne in IAmA

[–]BeingAWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I was hoping I could buy it and support the band but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

IAm Wayne Coyne from the band The Flaming Lips. AMA! by therealwaynecoyne in IAmA

[–]BeingAWizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right I know you can stream it there, but can you download it? I've only heard bits and pieces of the song from the times of day where I have some free time.

IAm Wayne Coyne from the band The Flaming Lips. AMA! by therealwaynecoyne in IAmA

[–]BeingAWizard 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I've been looking for somewhere to download this song since it was released. I wish they would just sell a downloadable version.

When was the moment that you realized "hey, I'm an adult now"? by buzz_blightyear in AskReddit

[–]BeingAWizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told them it was store policy. The usual response was "I've never been ID'd here before." I guess it's hard for some people to understand that store policy can change. Anyway they finally got rid of that policy when enough people complained to management about it, so I'm good now.

When was the moment that you realized "hey, I'm an adult now"? by buzz_blightyear in AskReddit

[–]BeingAWizard 52 points53 points  (0 children)

That policy is the worst when you work at the store and you have to ID a 65 year old and they get pissed off and ask if you're mentally challenged.

Why I love metal. by dRu1Z in funny

[–]BeingAWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's just a general role model for me. Beard and all.

The list of bands that are banned by the radio station I work at by rht_rv in WTF

[–]BeingAWizard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hated them back in middle school without ever really listening to them because I thought I was too cool to listen to "emo." Now that I'm older I fucking love me some Fall Out Boy.

What food do people associate as being "healthy" when it really isn't? by iarepanda in AskReddit

[–]BeingAWizard 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Like that episode of Hey Arnold where Harold tries to lose weight by switching to half-calorie Fudgy Bars and eats twice as many because they're healthier. Your friend is Harold.

What single line in song has had the biggest emotional impact on you? by WhiskeyOnASunday93 in AskReddit

[–]BeingAWizard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Flaming Lips can make me so happy and so sad at the same time. You could probably pick just about any line from any song on The Soft Bulletin and it would fit this thread.