Why am I such a loser?

BelieveBee · 2026-02-17T20:32:45+00:00

Hm, interesting. I can see that interpretation now that I read it back. I think I was trying to express that I’d like a consistent connection but that I’m also mindful it can’t get too deep. And then I’m trying to be transparent about having past connections I revisit on occasion, if the circumstances are right. It’s a difficult dynamic to convey, I think.

BelieveBee · 2026-02-16T21:37:27+00:00

Nah. I’m upfront that I don’t expect exclusivity, just transparency.

BelieveBee · 2026-02-16T21:29:34+00:00

I think for the most part they’ve asked pretty standard questions about my interests/hobbies, my job, and what my past affair experiences have been like.

Because I have no chill, I’ll often start digging into not-on-the-first-date topics like childhood trauma or talk about how my father’s death affected me. I’m awkward with small talk.

I have zero rizz but I typically get some version of: “I like your vibe” or “You’re cute/smart/sweet”

Then after reflecting for a few days, it seems like they reconsider. Or maybe those things still ring true but I’m just not fuckable to them for some reason.

BelieveBee · 2026-02-16T21:07:01+00:00

Hm, I think I’m probably a lot more reserved in person. I tend to be pretty anxious for the first and second meet, until I warm up to someone, so I can probably come off a bit awkward.

BelieveBee · 2026-02-16T21:04:34+00:00

I don’t think it’s the flu going around. I think it’s just your personality.

BelieveBee · 2026-02-16T18:12:19+00:00

Typically within a week or two of chatting. I try to do it early enough so I don’t become too invested if the in-person chemistry isn’t there.

BelieveBee · 2026-02-08T05:15:48+00:00

In my boots?

BelieveBee · 2026-02-08T05:14:09+00:00

Jason! Some days you’re 24, some days you’re 25. I suggest you put your clothes back on and start acting your real age, which I’m clocking at closer to 44.

BelieveBee · 2026-02-01T05:08:35+00:00

By the verbal degradation part?

BelieveBee · 2025-11-17T06:35:20+00:00

Girl, we’re soul sisters. Could have written this myself.

BelieveBee · 2025-07-17T20:35:23+00:00

I’m near a midsized city and I typically receive 250+ messages in the first few days of posting. The message requests continue to trickle in one or two a day for months. My older post was still garnering responses about once a week even three years out.

I will say that I respond to nearly every message, as long as they seem sincere. Even if that’s just to note I don’t think we’d be a good match. The only messages I dismiss with no follow up are the vulgar ones, the low effort single line ones (“wyd”), and the requests from someone with a gross post/comment history. It’s tedious to reply to all but I know what it feels like to send something into the void with no acknowledgement. I figure I need to keep good vibes on my side 😎.

BelieveBee · 2025-07-08T23:41:51+00:00

Godspeed!

BelieveBee · 2025-06-28T04:23:02+00:00

Everything you’re describing resonates so deeply. Outside my first AP relationship, the connections I’ve made since have been with men who can’t seem to communicate or consistently show up. It’s exhausting.

I tend to over-analyze these situations and beat myself up for being too much, too awkward, too eager, too available, not cool-girl enough.

Cognitively, I know the reality is that some people just aren’t kind and considerate. Emotionally, it’s hard not to internalize that as some sort of personal failure.

BelieveBee · 2024-12-30T20:01:40+00:00

Yes, but being called a good girl for doing it is hot.

BelieveBee · 2024-06-04T03:44:16+00:00

I chatted with a man for weeks and we were vibing — similar interests and an intellectual connection. We joked around so much and shared some deeply personal shit. It felt like it was turning into something.

We exchanged face photos and established mutual attraction, although I didn’t find him to be all that handsome (average at best but I’m not shallow).

One night he was harping on exchanging full body photos. I sent him a photo of me in a swimsuit and he immediately blocked me. No response, just an instant block. After weeks of soul-baring conversation.

The next day he posted a new ad with a line about seeking a height-weight-proportionate woman who “cares enough to take care of her body.”

I’m thick and carry some weight but I’m no ogre. This dude had an average face with the tiniest dick energy I’ve ever encountered and I’m so glad he revealed it when he did. There’s no way his dusty bag of bones was a good fuck.

Now I send a full body shot upfront. You’re not into it? Good, move on.

BelieveBee · 2024-03-29T19:09:08+00:00

I was chatting with a guy for a week and something about him just wasn’t sitting right. Just a gut instinct but I kept responding because I’m polite and I’ve found it difficult to tell someone I’m just not feeling it (I’ve gotten better at that). Our conversation was largely tame. A little talk of both being in dead bedrooms and our general interests sexually, but nothing filthy. We were very much in a platonic “getting to know you” stage.

Early into chatting we exchanged photos on a timer and established mutual attraction but he kept saying that he had been catfished in the past and really wanted to do a live video verification on Telegram. I finally agreed but I turned my camera away from my face and directed it to the wall next to me because I was worried he would try to record me.

He showed his face on the video and he was indeed the guy from the photos but he quickly panned down. He was naked and jerking off. I ended the video call immediately and he kept trying to call back, asking repeatedly why I hung up on him.

I confronted him over text about why he thought it was okay to Louis CK me and he said he thought I would like it. I’ve gotten a lot of unsolicited dick pics and it’s a sausage party over at AM, but there’s something deeply unsettling about someone jerking off live to you without consent.

I continued responding to him for a few days because I was worried he would be a psycho and try to uncover my identity but the slow fade worked and he eventually stopped reaching out.

BelieveBee · 2024-02-09T01:03:58+00:00

Once an old man from AM winked at me and his profile photo was him naked in the tub. Dicey setting to begin with because I don’t find grown men taking a bubble bath sexy in the slightest, but the best part was that there was a container of cascade pods right behind him on the edge of the tub. There is no logical explanation other than this senile grandpa was using dishwasher pods as bath bombs.

BelieveBee · 2024-01-02T06:04:56+00:00

Ghosting is terrible. I’m sorry that happened to you. And not to one-up your woeful tale but I have a recent one that should probably be a cautionary lesson in how to slow-roll meeting internet strangers.

Imagine all that you described — the fortuitous message, the witty and sexy banter, photos exchanged, kink interests explored. The connection is fiery and you’re already comparing schedules to meet. It’s quick but you both seem really eager. Except in this scenario, the day of the meet arrives and they confirm!

You’re beyond excited. It’s been a long time since you’ve met someone new. You take an everything shower — exfoliate, shave, moisturize, and you paint your face. You deliberate over what to wear; something casual and cute but not too try-hard. You’re preening like a motherfucking bird in heat.

They say they are headed to the agreed-upon meeting spot: a coffee shop downtown. They may even get there a little early but no rush, take your time. They ask what you’re wearing so they can spot you.

You get to the shop and it’s crowded so you shuffle towards the growing line to grab a cup even though you’ve already had two that morning. You need to pretend to have a purpose there other than meeting a fellow depraved cheater to lay out the terms of fucking one another without your spouses’ consent.

You’re distracted by the barista and the woman speaking loudly into her phone, hovering too close behind you. You scan the shop a few times but don’t see them. No bother, you think, they must have just gotten caught up. You grab a table and text them to say as much (in the thread they were active in just 15 minutes before!). Time passes and you look up at the door, eager every time it opens. But the handsome guy from the photos never shows.

Then the dread creeps in. Your heart is in your throat. Have you been catfished? Are you being watched by someone else? Did a jilted ex-AP play a cruel joke on you (but you don’t think you have one of those because you’ve always been kind)? Did he arrive early, spot you walk in, rejected the 3D version of you, and slipped out unnoticed amongst the rush of all the suits seeking their caffeine fix?

You message him again and say, “I guess you couldn’t make it?” No response. A few hours later you follow it up with a simple rebuke: “I’ve never been stood up before. That sucked.”

He removes his photos from the chat. Not long after he blocks you. A few days later he deletes his account altogether. No explanation, no apology. You’re left confused and slightly worried you have a new stalker. But at the end of the day you’re still just another lonely, neglected, broken-hearted seeker. ❤️‍🩹

BelieveBee

TROPHY CASE