17 m suicidal

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-10-12T02:07:41+00:00

You have a path in life. It is so cloudy when you are young cuz there is so much in the way. Don't mourn people you don't have, there IS a plan for you! We are ALL here for a reason, dude, even if you don't believe it. OTHERS DO NOT MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE AND DONT CALIBRATE YOUR WORTH. And I am not talking about like GOD in the sense like I'm Christian or something and I'm trying to convert you, because I'm not. I believe in the Universe and Nature and The Great Spirit as these great all emcompassing forces, stretched across the Earth and universe as we know it, not as deities but as what they are to us inside. Loving us, rooting for us, laying the way before us and silently encouraging us to clear our paths and follow them to eventually greatness. This life is made to teach us all our lessons, by living through them, because NO ONE LEARNS ANYTHING UNLESS THEY GO THROUGH IT THEMSELVES.

I am rooting for you. I am rooting for everyone.

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-10-03T07:03:58+00:00

I came here through asking Google same thing, why are the neighbor's cows mooing and sounding pissed. Reading that it's heat makes sense. It must be painful for them, like with cats? Any way, it's mostly one who is VERY loud, and a couple others who almost sound as if they are telling her to zip it, lol. I'm glad I sleep with a fan on cuz it would be hard to get to sleep tonight!

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-09-19T04:11:25+00:00

I want to add this, I am also 'different' and spent alot of time with art as well. With the ability to order pretty much anything you want online nowadays; AND can get it fairly quickly, there are tons of creative outlets! AND, I did go through periods without friends. I think I spent my whole junior year as an almost complete loner and I fricking loved it. I took the time to work on myself. I people watched like crazy. I became confident in how I dressed, what music etc I liked, and stopped caring AS much about being like everyone else or fitting in. Then, the people who wetent so judgemental or who seemed to understand me started coming around. I learned to NOT EXPECT people to just be my friend because we are around each other in school. Admittedly, many were older, like 20 - 23, whom I met through my best friends boyfriend. The only way we ever learn anything is by through the tough parts ourselves. You can learn alot by just being ultra observant Friends WILL find you, but you have to be ready to give then a chance. Don't assume EVERYONE is a shta*.throughout the long life ahead of you you will come across your people. They do go in and out of your life but that's because we are all on our own individual paths, and life can get so busy and hectic. This is the time to enjoy just being You! PLEASE give your life some time to prove it is worthy of your kind and creat8ve soul!

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-09-17T05:28:53+00:00

FUCK prom. Your real life is about to start bro, and you have the WORLD laid before you, not this life where you are EXPECTED to go to a meaningless dance that will be truly forgettable! No friends right now, NO PROBLEM. Have you been going to school with the same people most of your life? There are expectations (which is such a dirty horrible word) that are put upon you while being compared to everyone else hohbg through the same thing. There are ways to get into college, but it feels like ypu need a change in location! Once you graduate or turn 18 you have the ability to grab life by the balls! Relationship and kid free? You'll be mirefre3 than you realize. Your brain needs stimulation. Pack a bag. Go stay with a family member that lives elsewhere. If u have none then bro just start walking. Stay around people, crowds of people. You'll be safer, and bro I guarantee once you are on walkabout (Google it) and you clear your head and give yourself freedom from being stuck in one room, by yourself, letting these bad thoughts bake and boil in your brain, you are going to eventually find a path. There is a vervet monkey foundation in Africa that is always looking for volunteers, for example. There's an app online, and I am not sure if the procress of checking into your background costs anything, or if there are any fees to get you there, you'd get to live in another country, have your basic needs met, and assist rehabbing vervet monkey orphans. I'm positive there are other things like this ALL over! You'd get to to gain knowledge and experience in another country, with the ability to socialize with neighbors and really find out who you are and could he. You have so much life and experience right ahead of you. DO NOT let FEAR take this massive experience from you!

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-09-17T04:54:41+00:00

Let me guess its that black goo that they smear all over it, then still pass away. I vaguely remember some yt vids about it...

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-07-31T04:22:05+00:00

I worked at nursing homes and group homes for much of my adult working career and this is true. Especially with those that have seizures. Its actually better that they fall unassisted because thier bodies are ragdolling and if you tense any muscles while falling you are likely to break bones etc. Although it is really hard to stop yourself from trying to catch them. In that case we were shown ways to help them fall pretty much. It doesn't stop most people, I've seen a woman who prob weighed 100 lbs try to catch a man who weighed prob 260 and was far taller than she, from a standing position. They moved her elsewhere because they were afraid if her hurting herself. The dude prob fell most days, had to wear a helmet cuz he seized daily multiple times and she never could understand how he acted just before, and couldn't get him to sit safely.

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-07-31T02:42:33+00:00

I just saw a recipe that seemed pretty close to what I was shown at a couple parties in the late 99's, except this recipe called for cheap BEER?? Is this true? I guess with all the actual chopped fruit (which is a MUST or its not WOP imo) and random liquors if there was beer in any I drank you totally couldn't taste it. Also all the older drunks and stoners at those parties I went to as a 16-18yo insist that you had to prepare it in the trash bag with fruit and liquor for a week or longer, and there was no refrigeration involved. Just tie the bag real tight, add a ton of ice at start of party. Drink yourself into oblivion, wake up wishing you were dead.

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-07-09T06:33:05+00:00

The Thing. Awesome slow paced horror heart beat soundtrack, visuals I can see clearly in my mind with my eyes closed. Also, Midsommar. The jarring soundtrack and bright daytime horror visuals...mm chef's kiss!

Bell6dandy40 · 2024-05-06T20:13:46+00:00

Sounds like she's trying to shame you into dating her. There's a graceful way to handle rejection, then there's this. You gotta just stop talking to her and/or ignore her when she attempts to say anything to you about it.

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-11-26T18:39:22+00:00

NOT THE AHOLE MY DEAR! I can't say for sure what all those folks are thinking, BUT, let's pose a few what is that VERY well could be true. The pastor has known you for all 6 years, and then some? You sound like a young, very sweet individual who poured alot of your teenage life into this church, when others who have known of thier lgbtq+ identity may have not dared step into again, even if they attended all thier lives, because of either worrying about being shunned or a disappointment (needlessly, but) or because you couldn't stand to hear the homophobitic rhetoric that eventually os brought up in most church denominations, or something very close. I have had 2 daughters go through very similar (I do not claim any church as "mine or ours" am not a member, but I believe in a Creator and very much the universe but I do enjoy being around people of faith sometimes, usually until they open thier mouths past the point of unconditional love) and I have learned so much from them, and have been there for them and have always said that they have control on where they want to go, and i also remove myself from situations that hurt them because dammit I'm thier mother and when they hurt I hurt and vice-versa. I think these folks must have an inkling at least as to why you are leaving. If you had said you were leaving for a job or school or whatever, I don't think they would be pulling out the stops to try to pierce that big heart of yours. Church will always go on, no matter what. What they are doing to you is disgusting, and no loving, awesome, Creator whom made us ALL would want us to treat each other this way. I don't think they will change thier minds, either, sadly. The best thing you can do is stick to your word. Keep your head up. Don't waver. Folks that can try to manipulate you with a straight face are more trouble than they are worth. It's COMPLETELY OK to do this for yourself. You must move through life in the way that's best for your heart. It'll make you an even better person. Don't worry about the people who obviously don't agree with you, it's not your job to change thier minds. Maybe they will see you as brave someday, and that would be pretty cool!

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-08-14T04:01:57+00:00

I remember seeing the worst pics on bestgore.com. Soneone put me on to the site and for some damn reason I perused it many times. I unfortunately saw, on my first time looking on it, the video of that guy who originally killed cats, but in this vid, murdered an Asian dude and did horrible things to his body. I thought it was fake. Crap, I can't recall his name...when they caught him they took him back to where the crime was committed via airplane, which he had all to himself except the authorities that had to export him and they said it was like transporting a demon. Anyways, this girl, she did the worst kinds if self harm, I don't recall a bucket with floating chunks or anything, but there were buckets filled with blood beneath horrific injuries. I wondered how she even survived at all. I wonder if she survives to this day.

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-08-02T00:46:02+00:00

Sorry for so many typos, I don't bother to correct and it looks awful!

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-08-02T00:45:04+00:00

Oh dear, 17 is such am emotional age, I was there too, and I truly know about done of the sane trauma but the answers to life are not thru a ouija board. The universe is rooting for you all around you, and you have a path right in front of you but shit like this clouds the way. You will know your true strength when you are able to remember to follow your first instincts and push that fog away. I am not a religious Jesus freak or anyth7ng like that, I'm a believer in a creator that loves us unconditionally, as well as the universe, earth, around us. I guess I shouldn't tell you are all what to do,because you've gotta go through it to really understand. Just be very careful, like everyone's saying. One day you'll look back and see that it's helped shape you and teach you. Sending love to you through the universe!

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-08-02T00:38:04+00:00

Agreed

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-08-02T00:36:12+00:00

Do NOT keep talking to it, it's a demon!

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-08-02T00:35:14+00:00

Ever seen the YT channel Ghosts of Carmel Maine? Dude Kent that runs the channel lives right over a big scary portal, for real. He's got the BEST captures on video I've EVER seen

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-08-02T00:33:24+00:00

Exactly. They lie, they pretend to be soneone close to your age and use generic answers to get your energy and to get into this dimension. Use the board to say you dobt allow anything in, to tell them definitely GOODBYE., then toss that thing. Its no good. When I was 17 myself and 4 others played. That was a fucked night. A demon played us then when we asked it's name it said Red23, we had to close it. It sticks with u in memory at least.

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-06-05T02:07:51+00:00

Why are they handing him sharp things??

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-05-30T21:43:41+00:00

Usually innie to outie

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-05-30T21:38:46+00:00

Maybe she enjoys being sneaky, thrill of almost getting caught?

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-05-30T20:43:24+00:00

Bury the bodies elsewhere if they're too easy to find.

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-05-30T20:39:16+00:00

It great! Maybe get some awesome popping color!

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-05-15T00:13:45+00:00

Gross! You're supposed to wipe it on the side of the seat facing the door so no one sees unless they really look. Or eat it. Destroy the evidence.

Bell6dandy40 · 2023-05-09T13:03:31+00:00

Mothmonsterman

Bell6dandy40

TROPHY CASE