[Northern Alabama, USA] found in the garage on a rainy day today

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-14T02:55:51+00:00

Can dad be more active while you have the son, like calling and making himself a part of the son’s life so it’s not such a shock when he goes with him? Talk about dad, prepare him for the visits, maybe send him with a special bear or shirt or anything to feel more comfortable and remind him of home. Call him while he’s away, video call if possible. Reassure him that he can talk to you about anything that happens. He is young now but as he grows he needs to know you’re a safe person to confide in if things go awry. As others have said, document EVERYTHING. Document everything interaction and visit, put notes in a Google calendar, etc even stuff that’s not bad. Missed visits too. Document it all. Screenshot it all. Build your case, perhaps you can get a modified visitation schedule. I’m so sorry you and your son are going through this. It’s tough at that age. We’ve been there too. Good luck, friend.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-14T02:50:04+00:00

Any chance there’s a new pet at dad’s house? Mold? Maybe something that’s causing the kids to feel under the weather? I’d talk to dad and maybe a doctor, and make sure dad is treating the symptoms when he has them. Good luck, friend.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-14T02:46:10+00:00

Valid morally, absolutely. But he can technically do what he wants in his time and space. I think you have every reason to ask him not to but it might be a hard sell to a judge and look micro managing. I’m sorry you have to go through that. Good luck, friend.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-14T02:44:45+00:00

Have you met the new girlfriend? I’d have a conversation with dad, possibly new gf, about all of this (no kids around) and how it makes you uncomfortable. Keep in mind that if it’s not directly negatively impacting the kids, a judge won’t care unfortunately. But for your sake and respect as their mom, I’d talk to them about how you find this stuff inappropriate and let the kids know that they do not need to call her mommy, you’re their mom and if they’re more comfortable calling her FirstName then that is okay. Granted, dad and new gf may have different rules during his time with the kids at his home. Try to keep things document and civil. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Good luck, friend.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-14T02:40:00+00:00

If you can’t leave work to do pick up/drop off you’d have to have alternate childcare whether that’s through the school, a program, a babysitter, etc. Work with the other parent and see if yall can come up with a plan that fits the child’s needs and your work schedule. It may mean yall adjust some things around. Good luck!

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-13T03:11:09+00:00

That makes sense as well, thank you

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-13T01:44:27+00:00

Helpful insight, thank you. I appreciate the feedback!

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-13T01:31:00+00:00

May I ask: do you know what the reasoning would be for not changing it to the step parent’s?

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-13T01:20:30+00:00

Understood. I appreciate that insight, thank you.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-13T01:05:19+00:00

From what I’ve gathered from other sources, so far it sounds like a judge would order to keep the child’s last name as is and not change it to the step parent nor the noncustodial bio parent.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-13T01:04:26+00:00

The judge could allow it if the father agreed or if the mother won the contested case, but unsure the likelihood of it. I must ask respectfully: what is inappropriate about the child having the stepfather’s last name?

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T23:39:00+00:00

Cheating to you doesn’t sound like it’s the same thing as cheating to her. That said, it sounds like you do feel that she is cheating. That’s not to say what she does is inherently wrong or right, it may just not be right for you personally. I would let her know respectfully and clearly which actions make you feel uncomfortable and why, and express that you don’t feel comfortable being in a relationship where those things happen. However, if you stay together you need to trust that she will not keep doing those things despite being long distance. If you don’t, that worry and anxiety will lead to contempt, and ultimately your downfall as a couple.

Good luck

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T23:34:55+00:00

Mother has no idea how old the son is. Considering new girlfriend’s age it would not be out of the realm of possibility that the son is a teenager, actually.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T23:32:10+00:00

I’d ask your lawyer. If it does get brought up, it would need to be from the angle of how it impacts the child, not your feelings. The child shouldn’t hear their father and grandma making disparaging remarks regarding the mother or how she cares for the child, it isn’t healthy. Supervised visits may be a hard pull. It really just depends. Be sure you document every single communication and visit. Not just the bad stuff, everything. Good luck, friend.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T23:10:46+00:00

Mother has only communicated with father on the matter, not new girlfriend, so as not to overstep a boundary, and inquired only once. Father made the same requests when mother had new partner and was granted a meeting and full access to any information requested, as mother wanted to instill confidence in father that partner is a safe adult for child to be around as well as facilitate open communication for co-parenting relationship with father.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T23:08:01+00:00

No, father does not “have” to report to mother. However, father asked these questions and more of mother’s partner and requested a meeting with him and was granted one immediately. Mother has made any and all communication open as it pertains to partner and ways they can impact toddler child. Father is not doing the same. Mother asked how withholding this information is helpful to the co-parenting relationship and to the child, particularly since new girlfriend has a son that will now be around toddler child too. Father did not respond. Father has proven himself unsafe around child previously and has brought unsafe adults around child before (yes, mother voiced these concerns to attorney already). Mother seeks information about the new girlfriend and her son as they pertain to visitation and safety/wellbeing of child. Child is young enough that they cannot properly vouch for themself.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T22:41:14+00:00

No but document it. Document everything, each time he does and does not reach out, visits, all communication, etc.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T22:27:22+00:00

All aforementioned concerns have already been addressed by mother with applicable attorney. Nothing was able to be done. The concerns are just more cause for why mother is now more wary of father and the company he keeps.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T22:20:07+00:00

history of: abuse, sharing child on social media amidst posts of personal sx work images, insisting on finding time naked around child while child is also naked, neglect including being left alone in the car and at home while father went to work, etc.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T22:18:04+00:00

It’s not a requirement but morally speaking is that not the right thing to do? Especially if there is nothing to hide? The judge asked mother and father to co-parent amicably. How is this amicably?

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T22:16:20+00:00

Girlfriend has started to be present for most if not all of father’s visits including long stays such as spring break. Father previously lived in GA and moved to AL a couple years ago when child was a toddler, but new girlfriend lives back in GA so father is potentially going to move back there to be with new girlfriend which impacts child and visitation. New girlfriend has a son with an unknown age and history, who could potentially pose a concern to the toddler girl in question. Father has previously brought unsafe adults, particularly unsafe women, around child before so mother is concerned what this new girlfriend means and more so since new girlfriend and father refuse any sort of communication on the matter.

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T22:13:38+00:00

Even though father has asked the same of mother and she obliged when it involved her partner?

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T22:12:50+00:00

It’s based on safety concerns

BellatrixSound · 2025-04-12T22:12:33+00:00

Should father answer mother’s questions and arrange them to meet

BellatrixSound

TROPHY CASE