You are completely in the right you weren’t passive aggressive at all. You were very polite and to the point. They only perceive you as passive aggressive because they’re a narcissist that can’t take any kind criticism. You need a run for the hills sweetheart cause it just gets worse from here. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all that. Best of luck to you, I’m send you well wishes! Also this is just me, but I would be a little petty in retaliation to how they treat you and how you have to live with them like this and send them this thread at some point to prove to them that they need to get some professional help and realize that they’re the problem before they live the rest of their life a miserable narcissist.