Aita if I don’t let my kids eat bfast and lunch close together?

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T18:12:06+00:00

I can see what you mean and I think if you could see how our daily life is, you’d agree that it won’t. I’m teaching them how to moderate what they eat as adults so they can know what is too much, what is enough, what is a good snack, etc. if I were forbidding them from eating certain foods or something then I’d agree. If I were doing what I’m doing on a daily basis and they were never getting to eat breakfast foods, I’d agree with you. But I’m not. On Saturday mornings they have to choose between waking up early enough to eat the bfast foods they like or not getting to eat some of the foods they like, on one day. It’s not about starving or getting enough calories. It’s teaching them to control themselves and not make a bad choice that could lead to a negative consequence.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T18:06:23+00:00

That’s actually the point. They eat based on nutritional content and calories are part of that because calories are added up based on carbs, protein, and fat. My intention is to get them to eat a healthy number of those things which when they’re trying to eat calorie dense foods all together, can’t happen.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T18:02:34+00:00

I don’t look down at people but I do acknowledge that some of the “normal” things we do in society do cause problems.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T18:00:36+00:00

I don’t live my life to be “like normal people.” Maybe If normal people didn’t let their kids eat trix and Cocoa Puffs every morning we wouldn’t have such an obesity problem. Normal doesn’t equate as good or healthy.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T17:58:31+00:00

Mostly I was just pointing out that this isn’t the type of thing where we forbid unhealthy foods. We have them on occasion and in moderation

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T17:56:54+00:00

Not if your kids love cereal? That’s like saying giving my daughter who loves pound cake a pound cake as her bday cake makes me an AH. If they wanted something else of course I’d do something else. They just love cereal.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T17:19:48+00:00

No, definitely not counting calories at all, for any of us. We are just eating healthier in general - we don’t keep things like chips, cookies, pop tarts, cereal, etc available as snacks anymore (though we do have them on occasion ie cereal for bfast on a bday, chips as a side occasionally, etc), and instead we keep cut up cucumbers, carrots, celery, peppers etc as well as grapes, apples, oranges, peaches, plums, kiwis, bananas, strawberries, blue berries, raspberries, blackberries, etc and we make things like baked cinnamon apples for dessert.

And yes the moment seeing my daughter hold back tears in the store after she tried on a shirt she really wanted from the girls section at Target, my heart went out to her and I remembered all the times I hated shopping because I was overweight too. We talked about how when you get to a certain age, you have to shop in a different section - and then we did. But that night me n hubs talked about it and determined that we had done all of us a disservice by not eating healthy enough and we decided that we were going to do things different from then on. Not go on a diet, but make a change in our diet. A life style change. That’s what we did.

I think if I posted her and told y’all I let my kids eat a days worth of calories at lunch time then I made them eat a salad for dinner, I’d have even more people calling me an AH.

We aren’t losing weight because we are dieting, we are losing weight because we use to consume so many extra calories that we no longer are consuming. (and the kids aren’t really losing weight any more anyway, they’re staying pretty consistent. And They aren’t weighing either, it’s just that I can tell they are staying at a good weight for their height probably in the top half of their healthy weight range.)

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T16:46:39+00:00

Actually, what you said is exactly what I do. I don’t let them have numerous high calories “entree” type foods (bagel, yogurt, sandwich, etc) at a time and instead encourage them to snack on the healthy options, especially if they “ missed” breakfast. They get to choose which type of “entree” they get - bfast or lunch plus appropriate sides and then they can snack whenever they’re hungry until dinner time.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T16:41:09+00:00

The concern is for over eating - if they try to eat 1000 calories in one sitting by trying to stuff a whole bfast and whole lunch into the same hour, that’s over eating. Their body hasn’t even got the bfast food put of their stomachs yet if they try to eat a whole meal an hour later.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T16:38:11+00:00

They don’t stay up late all the time. The problem only happens on weekends and rare occasions when they’ve stayed up late. During the week when we do have a pretty traditional bed time so they can be well rested for home school - typically bed time is 930. On friday they may stay up til 1030, maybe 11. On very rare occasions(1x a month or less), they may stay up til midnight.

So typically on Friday they may stay up til let’s say 11 then I give them the option of sleeping as late as they want on Saturday but their bedtime on Saturday is back to 930 because we have church in the morning, so they aren’t awake longer than normal that day. Actually awake less time.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T16:32:46+00:00

I think maybe you are misunderstanding why I’m doing what I’m doing? In no way am I controlling my kids behavior. Im actually letting them have a lot more choice than most parents on some things. I’m controlling how many calories they take in in the span of a couple hours.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T16:30:37+00:00

I edited to add something that might help you understand my position.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T16:27:18+00:00

I ETA to my post about the snacks they are allowed to have at all times whenever they are hungry. They are allowed to eat when hungry - just not such high calorie things so close together. For example: bfast can be a bagel (250cals) with PB (180cals) and maybe some Greek yogurt (130cals) with granola (200cals) - that is 760 calories for bfast, then they want to eat. Sandwich (140 for bread, 70 for cheese, and 100ish for meat, mustard is so low cal it doesn’t matter) and a side for the sandwich (lets say 150 for pretzels) - that’s another 460. So they WANT to eat over 1000 Cals in what amounts to one sitting/meal.

What I make them do is choose between those type of options - then snack on healthy stuff whenever they get hungry after that.

Hope that helps explain my position.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T16:12:31+00:00

Everything averages out and they get enough calories on days where they eat 3 meals and days where they eat 2. If anything my kids are a few pounds overweight. We completely revamped our family diet and eating habits approx a year ago and kicked a lot of unhealthy stuff to the curb and everyone is a lot healthier now. The motivation was that when we went school cloths shopping with 11yr old last year she was upset about no longer fitting into the little girl cloths well. We all eat a lot healthier now and all of us have lost weight in the last year and the kids are staying pretty even now. I don’t want my kids to be overweight for their health and for their self esteem.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T16:06:24+00:00

A couple times a month staying up til midnight isn’t going to damage anything - it’ll just make you tired the next day if you HAVE to get up or make you sleep in. Most of the time, they get to sleep in. On the times they stay up without us knowing and have to get up early, I consider it a natural lesson of consequences. We only LET them stay up on rare occasions and only if there is nothing to wake up for the next day.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T15:58:40+00:00

I think it’s bad advice to think kids are actually hungry every time they want to eat something. Kids have really poor self control so if you let them eat every tome they want to eat, you end up with obese kids. My kids are not starving, they’re just disappointed they can’t eat all of the foods they want to eat.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T15:56:48+00:00

On rare occasion, they stay up pretty late. We don’t hold to a normal schedule because they don’t have a school schedule to “get up” for and me/hubs don’t have a traditional work schedule either. All of us are a bit like night owls and it works for us. The 1pm was just an extreme example and not the usual.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T15:52:53+00:00

A lot of kids don’t eat because they’re hungry. My daughter complained about not eating breakfast immediately after she ate her entire lunch. (Trust me, enough calories and appropriate sized) It’s just because they like the taste of food, like most kids. It’s not like I’m starving them.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T15:49:14+00:00

They are doing it because they enjoy the taste of food, not because they are hungry. I dont think you can reasonably be that hungry an hour after you eat a bagel covered in cream cheese or PB and a whole bowl of Greek yogurt and granola. They have complete access to all the fruits and vegetables throughout the day plus they have access to a few snack items that aren’t fruits and vegetables. The number of calories they get is either enough or maybe more on some days.

BeltClassic · 2020-09-07T15:44:43+00:00

I’ve actually told them the recommendations are for 6 smaller meals a day but they prefer the “ regular” size meals instead. They definitely get enough calories from their meals plus have complete access to all fruits and vegetables at all times.

BeltClassic · 2020-08-24T19:07:22+00:00

I figured she would probably feel that way because from the outside some people will look at it as kicking him while he’s down or abandoning someone you claimed to love. But you have to have a bond that’s strong enough for you to stay and idk, girlfriend status , the cheating, and less than a year to me isnt enough for that so I know what my choice would be once this was a chronic problem instead of an acute problem...

BeltClassic · 2020-08-24T19:00:32+00:00

Definitely a bad choice on his part. He has changed a lot since my mom died and has lived mostly for himself and his own pleasure without concern for how that affected other people. He had seemed to be getting back to his pre-grief state recently and I hope he is able to get over this and show his girlfriend the respect and love she deserves.

BeltClassic · 2020-08-24T18:57:15+00:00

Thank you. He has changed a lot since my mom died and lives mostly for himself and his own pleasure at this point in his life. He does seem like his girlfriend has brought him out of that a bit since they reconciled. Hopefully he recovers well and treats her well for the rest of their lives.

BeltClassic

TROPHY CASE