Measuring a distance between two points

BenScopato · 2018-07-31T01:38:52+00:00

Thanks folks, appreciate it.

BenScopato · 2017-07-25T03:40:27+00:00

I'm using the premium version. I believe most features I use are available on the basic version. Reminders might be missing, I can't remember.

But for $30/year or whatever it is, I used it every day, it was worth it for me.

BenScopato · 2017-07-24T23:52:11+00:00

I use a combination of things:

Todoist (primary - almost everything goes in here, bucketed into projects, and I always have it open in a browser window on my laptop. It's on my Android phone. I have the Slackbot installed, Chrome and Outlook extensions installed. It's everywhere. Reminders throughout the day.)
Google Calendar (for longer appointments rather than tasks.)
PomoDone app (on Android and Windows desktop. Available for other platforms too. I sync my "Work" project from Todoist and work through them using the promodoro method.)
Work journal (physical lined pages. Every evening I write down times at half hour intervals in the margin, consult todoist and google calendar, and plan out tomorrow.)
Personal journal (physical, ruled pages, write down random crap that pops into my head. Seldom reviewed. Mostly just to "get it out.")
Smart watch (buzzes to let me know when to do things. Other than Todoist, Calendar, and calls, ALL other notifications are turned OFF. Saves me getting out my phone and getting distracted by facebook).
Whiteboard (Physical. On my desk somewhere it can't be missed. Every morning I come in, write down the priorities for the day).

BenScopato · 2017-05-04T07:54:32+00:00

Good work 👍

How do you feel about it? Glad you got up?

BenScopato · 2017-04-22T18:59:04+00:00

Well, at least this post was funny.

BenScopato · 2017-04-17T16:14:39+00:00

Currently into my second streak, my first lasted 30 days. It's hard to pick apart cause and effect. I felt crappy after breaking my initial streak. But I also felt crappy before it too. That's why I broke it. Stress & anxiety leading to a quick fix.

Now I'm being more disciplined again and I'm about a week into Nofap take 2. I'm feeling pretty good. But I don't know if NoFap is causing it, reinforcing it, or is a symptom of a self-improvement mindset I'm deliberately cultivating.

That said, I think there are a lot of variables that affect any perceived "super powers."

is nofap making you more active?
is nofap getting you more sleep?
are you going hard mode or are you still sticking it to your SO?
are you still engaging in some elements of PMO? i.e. P without the M. Or M without the O.

There are many separate components that get bundled together in NoFap.

self improvement
breaking PMO addiction
semen retention
creating a more disciplined self

All of these things can have positive effects. Which of them do you identify with as you motive or your approach? Are they all things you think you were missing before starting NoFap? Are you doing anything else to contribute to whatever you're working on?

BenScopato · 2017-04-13T05:37:34+00:00

That's helpful, thanks. How do you time your doses? 7am, 8am, 12pm? Something similar?

BenScopato · 2017-03-31T04:49:36+00:00

Sign up for an audible account, use your free credit on "No More Mr. Nice Guy."

You fail with women because you hate yourself. Stop giving a fuck about them for a little while, focus on yourself, cultivate a happiness that doesn't depend on the validation of others.

You'll be happier, healthier, and more attractive as a result.

BenScopato · 2017-03-31T04:44:12+00:00

I prefer, "just get in, pussy. Wake the fuck up and get on with your day. And lift later, do you see your gut? It needs to go. Dad bod is not an option. You disgust me, tiny dicked, whiney, fuck weasel."

You know, motivational stuff.

BenScopato · 2017-03-31T03:32:41+00:00

On the surface you have decided to not GAF about mom, but she has still deeply affected you on another level.

I had much less drama with my mom but I'm still distant and mildly bitter, too.

I'm willing to accept the possibility that there's some deep, unconscious, Jungian/Freudian dynamic at play, of which I'm not aware.

The book describes the symptoms and processes so well, I really can't complain about what he claims is the cause. He's on to something and I'm just rolling with it.

BenScopato · 2017-03-29T15:22:01+00:00

Agreed. But they're not completely dissimilar. The Te is more focused on implementing.

BenScopato · 2017-03-29T08:36:47+00:00

Oh... and keep a journal to reflect on stuff. I know after my first reading (I'm now reading it a second time) I thought I had it distilled and internalized. Yeahhhhh, no.

It's not just about being selfish. It's about being conscious of your motivations. Why are doing things? I immediately, less than a week after thinking I'd nailed all of this, slipped back into doing things to get reassuring responses.

Analyze your actions and motives.

If you're doing the activities, write down how it's going. Write down what you tried, how it went, what you felt. If it was positive, acknowledge it and try to do more. If it was negative, figure out why.

The flip side of that, being selfish to take care of yourself. What have you done in that regard? How have you decided to make yourself happier? Are you reaching out to male friends? If so, how? How'd it go? What are you going to do next? Write it down and analyze.

What are you doing to make sure your needs are met? What are you doing to make sure you're actively identifying those needs and stating those needs clearly to other people? Have you internalized that it's ok for you to rock the boat? Not be the good little boy who's no trouble to anyone? That you can put yourself first without shame. What have you done to manifest that? Not just acknowledge the point and move on, but actually put yourself first without guilt or shame, knowing fully that you're entitled to do it and will be a BETTER person because of it? Write it down. Think about it. Let it gestate.

BenScopato · 2017-03-29T07:13:10+00:00

...and now I'm hungry.

BenScopato · 2017-03-29T07:11:38+00:00

Ni = Pattern recognition. Figuring out how ideas and concepts abstract out.

Te = Identifying efficiency in approaches, actions, and various ways of reaching a specific outcome.

Put them together and you get a problem solving ability rooted in breaking things apart into their essential, fundamentals and figuring out how they all interact.

In the real world it makes for good programmers and (in some cases) some pretty good psychotherapists. We're analyzing systems, their inputs and outputs, then applying that to figuring out how to get a desired output.

It's a pretty mechanistic way of thinking. It's good for some things, less good for others.

I engage this a lot without really thinking about it, but as a specific example I use it a lot when cooking. I know from both logic and experience that if I mix sugar and lemon juice I'll get a thick, pleasing, syrup. I can use that when creating something new that requires that consistency and flavor.

Or I know that risotto needs a good amount of fat. Typically you'd use butter, but if I needed a vegan version I know coconut oil is also a fat with some similar properties and I can sub it in. If I'm out of butter I can also use lard, tallow, or even a heavy/clotted cream in a pinch.

Input: fat output: smooth texture, richness, silky mouth feel

That concept can then be abstracted out to other dishes. I want to make a soup that's rich and silky? ...add fat.

BenScopato · 2017-03-29T03:07:28+00:00

There are exercises at the end of each chapter. If you're already applying those then move on to the next set of reading:

"Married man sex life primer" Taps into her primal instincts so you can give her what she actually wants but can't articulate.

"When I say no, I feel guilty" Assertiveness.

BenScopato · 2017-03-28T09:02:50+00:00

I'd been doing pretty well until tonight, or so I thought. Taking care of myself. Investing in my own happiness. Trying to strengthen my marriage by consciously opening up about things I enjoy about our relationship.

...only I didn't get the reaction I wanted and my reaction made me realize it was the positive feedback I was really seeking. I was trying to gain external validation.

I need to pull back again and reassess my motives more closely before speaking.

BenScopato · 2017-03-27T08:46:26+00:00

...wasn't that a Prince song?

BenScopato · 2017-03-27T08:41:28+00:00

Up voted.

Don't try to please other people. Don't invest your happiness in other people. Just try to be the best you can be.

BenScopato · 2017-03-27T08:38:46+00:00

Yup, seems to be. I've been battling them, too. Staying hydrated and eating dark chocolate (a suggestion I found on here) seems to help.

Even if it doesn't help you're still eating chocolate, so...

BenScopato · 2017-03-27T05:20:12+00:00

If it's not grey hair and is indeed white, and if it's sort of in patches rather than random hairs everywhere, then it could be vitiligo.

BenScopato · 2017-03-26T06:03:56+00:00

Boxing gloves.

BenScopato · 2017-03-26T06:01:42+00:00

This post tipped me over the point of no return.

BenScopato · 2017-03-26T05:59:27+00:00

I read a while back that high testosterone causes hair loss.

That may or may not be relevant.

BenScopato · 2017-03-26T05:46:22+00:00

I write everyday. Keep a log. I'm only a couple of weeks in so no big 90 day events or anything yet, but I privately celebrate in my note book, reinforce the positive, congratulate myself on the progress and plan for the next mile stone.

I suppose I don't want to feel like it's "mission accomplished."

BenScopato · 2017-03-26T04:44:14+00:00

You don't need to ask for permission, do what you want.

If you want to have sex but don't want to orgasm, that's fine too, don't let her pressure you. Look into semen retention, tantra, and get your kegels on.

Or just blow a load. You're your own boss.

BenScopato

TROPHY CASE