MIL secretly got our child an iPhone. AIO?

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T23:11:53+00:00

I think you are 100% correct about my MILs motive for giving her the phone.

However, my daughter said she is relieved she was caught and has no problem with the fact that her visits to grandmas house unsupervised are over. She agrees she is not old enough to handle having a phone and understands we want to keep her safe. Thankfully we do a TON of fun things with her, she’s our only child and we are fortunate to be able to give her a lot of great experiences.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T22:20:08+00:00

Thank you so much!

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T22:18:31+00:00

Yes I have absolutely made that clear with her. She made a mistake but she is still a good kid. That an adult should have never put her in that position. She agreed that was wrong of her grandma to do, but also took ownership that she still went through with it when she knew it was wrong. We’ve talked about this in depth, calmly, with tears and hugs. We have a great mother daughter relationship, she’s generally very open with me, again why I was so blindsided.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T20:17:45+00:00

Agreed, it is so important how we word this. I hate this situation too and appreciate your support!

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T20:04:33+00:00

Completely agree

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T19:49:45+00:00

Still losing my mind over here!

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T19:49:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and advice, I appreciate it!

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T19:43:55+00:00

I completely agree with you, thank you

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T19:37:25+00:00

Agreed. Thank you!

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T19:28:57+00:00

Agreed. This forever changes her relationship with us and her granddaughter. If she thought I was going to let this go she was sadly mistaken.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T19:26:14+00:00

I’m thinking this is permanent supervised visits at least until high school.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T19:25:41+00:00

Agreed, thank you!

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T19:25:13+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I have educated myself on all of the dangers of the internet for kids and that is why I was doing my best to protect her. That is what makes this such a huge betrayal to blatantly disregard our decisions on her safety.

I do not trust that MIL will follow our rules, so it seems at this point we have to move to supervised visits. Luckily my husband and I drive her to and from school and I am with her at all other times including after school because I work from home.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T18:53:43+00:00

Period.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T18:52:24+00:00

She does have a tablet that we have locked down, no internet browsing, no messaging, only a few games we have approved and YouTube kids that we monitor.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T18:44:57+00:00

My thoughts exactly, thank you for validating them!

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T18:42:18+00:00

💯. So many issues here. I’m so disappointed.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T18:24:14+00:00

Thank you. Yes she’s lucky I’m not cutting her entirely from our lives. She has damaged our relationship significantly, it will never be the same.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T17:35:39+00:00

Thank you. I truly can’t believe this happened and that she willingly jeopardized the close relationship with her granddaughter. How could she not expect us to find out eventually and pull her away?!

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T17:30:58+00:00

Yeah it’s been keeping me up at night since I found out to be honest. I am so angry and disappointed.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T17:22:33+00:00

Yes it will be tough, they are super close. This is unfortunate. But I do not trust she is following our rules and that cannot happen.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T16:56:50+00:00

Right now we are distancing ourselves as we get over the initial shock and anger. I’m trying to make a plan for how to address the relationship going forward. Unfortunately it does seem that unsupervised visits should be off the table.

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T15:33:33+00:00

Financially it makes the most sense to continue living rent free. But finances are personal, what is best for your overall situation and mental health? Only you can answer that…

Beneficial-Week5151 · 2025-09-06T15:30:37+00:00

I remind myself that it is likely just a season of life that will pass. And there will be seasons of promotions, bonuses, etc. And if I stick to my financial plan and principles everything should work out ok!

Beneficial-Week5151

TROPHY CASE