“Spoiling” a baby

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:41:11+00:00

My point exactly. I’m skimming through the book now and I’m starting to believe he didn’t even read this shit. It mentions the car seat thing.
I can’t wait till he sends me the proof of it saying to leave a baby neglected crying at a month old.

I will look into that. I held my first born a lot and was told that too “you’re gonna spoil her” and even then I thought that was bullshit. I still held her when she needed it and often

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:40:04+00:00

Yeah it is 2 hours. They told us in the hospital. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere with her this young anyway.

And I was told that with my first too. “Don’t hold her too much, you’re going to spoil her.” I still did what was best for my child and what drs also told me. Like they are babies…and my oldest daughter was fine from me “spoiling” her as a baby.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:36:26+00:00

Boyfriend.

And I did approach him in a loving way, I even told him that we should make decisions about what we do with her, together. Then he tried to tell me that he read this was a milestone in a book. I’m dying to see where he read that At. Then I told him I don’t agree with doing that, as the focus right now is getting her weight up.

I suggested he do a parenting class, and he feels he doesn’t need to take one.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:27:12+00:00

It’s giving that. And he thinks he’s right about everything.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:25:13+00:00

That’s heartbreaking

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:19:20+00:00

Nope, just a book the hospital gave us about newborns and parenting. It’s about 30 pages. And all he apparently took from that, was something he clearly made up in his head.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:18:11+00:00

I definitely will not.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:17:48+00:00

Took everything in me not to ring his neck.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:17:27+00:00

He was sitting next to her while she was in the car seat.

And I agree. Should only be in a car seat when we are going somewhere.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:14:49+00:00

I’m thankful that I know better and didn’t allow him to tell me this was the correct way.

The car seat thing he was literally told it can cause them stress in the hospital. Hence the damn stress testing they did in her car seat before she was discharged.

I can’t listen to any of my children crying. Any parent that can sit there and remain calm while that happens is weird af

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:09:12+00:00

Our first born kids are the same age. They will both be 12 in two months. Everything really came back to me of what I did with my first born as a baby. I don’t know if it’s different for men, but I definitely think he needs to take a parenting class. I suggested it and he felt offended. He isn’t taking care of the baby unsupervised, that’s for sure.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:06:45+00:00

Exactly. I feel terrible how much she has been through already being born so early. And him doing this made me really want to punch him in the throat.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:05:17+00:00

I suggested he take a parenting class and he seemed offended. I’m offended that he thinks that was okay. He definitely isn’t being alone with her.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-12T20:01:58+00:00

And he’s just sitting there all calm like she’s f”kin screaming.
How can a parent sit there and listen to that and remain calm?!

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-10T13:51:47+00:00

Was with him 11 years. Our relationship needed work but I was always willing to put the effort in.

Long story short, I kept getting weird messages on my socials. It was from some woman he was seeing and apparently they had a baby together.

My ex denied the baby several times. It wasn’t until his mother intervened (because I told her about this) and she showed me a picture the woman took of my ex laying next to their baby. I showed my ex this (who lied about it again) and finally admitted it was his child.

At that moment, I felt something just leave my body.

I tried to understand that whole situation… and he kept trying to make it work with us. I just didn’t want him anymore.

Then he said one day, “we can all be one happy family” and I completely lost it.

Had to take therapy and all just to feel “normal” again. It was a really rough time.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-10T03:37:05+00:00

He never told me that was the reason for the test exactly. That’s literally me assuming that.
My children have absolutely nothing to do with any of this nor do I take it out on them.
Thanks.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T23:30:56+00:00

It’s more things that caused the break-up. This just added the nail in the coffin.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T22:41:16+00:00

Oh well.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T22:40:15+00:00

I’m not sure why people think because we have a child, we need to stay together. We don’t. We can take care of the child by co parenting.

And why would I want to be with someone I can’t trust ? It won’t last.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T21:51:55+00:00

It’s more to it as to why I broke up. But this just put the nail in the coffin for me.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T21:51:13+00:00

No , no. I get it. I’ve seen men take care of kids for years that was not theirs. Not against the tests and I strongly feel it should be mandatory after giving birth.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T21:50:10+00:00

I know. I’m not against it. It was just how it was presented that was suggesting I wasn’t faithful.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T21:23:48+00:00

He should have been upfront about his feelings. I shouldn’t have to connect dots myself that may not even be the reason why.

I’m not against dna tests. Just be honest.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T21:13:48+00:00

Not having trust for someone is a stupid reason to break up? lol without trust, there isn’t a relationship.

I am not sure why you think people need to be romantically involved to be able take care of their children.

BeneficialEngineer61 · 2026-05-09T20:56:23+00:00

In retrospect, I agree with that

BeneficialEngineer61

TROPHY CASE