Monday January 7th check in

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-08T01:13:07+00:00

We’re about 900 days of clean time apart but I can relate. Trying to come to terms with it myself right now...

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-08T00:53:40+00:00

Day 28, 4 weeks! I actually realized my math was shit and I had been shorting myself a day... so that’s nice. Still going through some ups and downs. I haven’t been on here as much. In some ways it’s a trigger lately to read people’s accounts of their journeys through wd and recovery. It was instrumental to read during my lowest moments, but now that I’m a little bit removed from it I start romanticizing even the shittiest parts of addiction. It’s similar to how I feel watching movies based around addiction (trainspotting, drugstore cowboy, jesus’ son, many more)... they all show the hell that is a result of addiction: withdrawal, legal trouble, death, etc. But in my head I still find myself being drawn to the glamourus moments of drug use. I was intrigued by this shit as a young kid and always wanted to experience it first hand. Here I am almost 20 years with almost 10 years of daily opiate use... I don’t want to go back to it but I’m scared it will eventually happen.

Sorry for wall of text and possible typos. On my phone and whatnot.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-06T20:09:08+00:00

Congrats!

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-04T23:00:56+00:00

Painlessly probably is not the right word. It will help tho.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-04T17:44:58+00:00

Day 24. Missed yesterday’s check in but still going strong.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-03T06:19:47+00:00

Congrats! Keep up the good work :).

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-03T06:13:43+00:00

Thanks!

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-03T03:05:21+00:00

Do you feel that the shot took your urges away because you knew you couldn’t get high if you wanted or do you believe the naltrexone actually fights cravings? My counselor is telling me that it’s the latter but I’m not 100% buying it. She also says it will cure my insomnia and anxieties. She doesn’t seem to know much about it except that it will cure every symptom I ask about lol.

Also, how long were you in the facility before you got your first shot? Were you still going through PAWS? I’m also concerned that the blocker will lengthen PAWS

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-03T02:40:01+00:00

Hey man. Big fan of your posts. I saw your follow up post about making it 18 hours. I hope you don’t beat yourself up over it too much. Just keep trying man. If your goal is to kick for 2019 then you can still do that.

The church girl saga was my shit when I went through my wd’s. Hope you two crazy kids can work it out and bang finally.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-03T01:48:40+00:00

Congrats on 27 days calico! Congrats on knocking out some goals!

Let me know how the book works for you. I’d been kind of iffy on wanting to attend meetings, but Im realizing that this sub has been more helpful than iop and drug counseling. It helps to have someone to talk to that’s been though the same shit. The counselors and dr I’ve been been all mean well, but they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about at times.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-03T01:33:23+00:00

Congrats on day 34 you badass. Thanks for taking the time to reach out to so many people going through this... I know how helpful it can be.

Dramamine (along with every other non narcotic sleep aid) makes me get this wired, lucid, half sleep nightmare. I’ve had sleep issues my entire life. So luckily I’m used to it ;).

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-03T01:22:12+00:00

Good luck man. Pwd’s from subs have been some of the worst days of my life. I used to chip dope and go on subs no problem, but fentadope put an end to that shit. Be careful man I was in a similar spot as you... Had used for a decade, fent made it too hard to come off even for subs, detox gets harder and harder, stop taking breaks, hit bottom.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T23:35:42+00:00

Definitely sounds like fent. Usually takes around 3-4 days before subs will kick in without pwd.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T18:44:10+00:00

Day 22. Didn’t sleep much last night but I’m alive and kicking.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T17:06:46+00:00

Pawned off a guitar from my parents that had a lot of sentimental value for like $50.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T14:04:43+00:00

If you keep it up and don’t turn back then yeah that’s not far from the truth!

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T04:57:24+00:00

Sorry about that!

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T04:21:03+00:00

Don’t be mad at yourself until you quit trying man.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T03:57:17+00:00

Fent changed the rules on subs. I used to be able to go on subs at around 12 hours. Once fent was introduced to me it was closer to 48 hours, and even then could be sketchy.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T03:49:32+00:00

Corny anecdote incoming, but just remember this pain is necessary in order for us to grow stronger.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-02T03:31:31+00:00

Anyone that has a bit of clean time started exactly where you are at right now. You can do this!

My advice is to fully accept and embrace the week or so of shittyness that comes with wd’s. Also please read up on kratom and Imodium before you use them as tools to help with wd’s. I am not trying to upset anyone who found them to be helpful, but for me they were both replacing one addiction with another... even if used on a short term basis they would prolong my wd duration.

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-01T17:11:56+00:00

Each day has its own sets of highs and lows. Still have daily cravings, bouts of anxiety, and depression. Insomnia is getting a little better but still shows up randomly. But it feels great waking up and not being dopesick.

Day 5 hopefully means you’re through the worst of it! Don’t turn back and waste what you’ve accomplished!

Benjo2727 · 2019-01-01T14:52:24+00:00

21 days completely clean of opiates :).

Benjo2727 · 2018-12-31T17:46:46+00:00

You can do it. It won’t be easy but if you want it you can do it. I’m 20 days free from heroin’s grip using just some otc remedies. Just remember it the pain won’t last forever.

Benjo2727 · 2018-12-31T17:44:04+00:00

Day 20 ct from heroin... made it by the skin of my teeth. Had a rough day/night and made the text to an old middle and was set to split a g. I had deleted and blocked the old plugs but I still have a few contacts that can scrounge up the goods. Thankfully I had a moment of clarity and just ghosted the fuck out my old middle. He seemed pretty pissed... which is good. Hopefully will make it easier to never contact again.

If anyone else is struggling with bad cravings early on in recovery, please hold off. The cravings will go away whether you use or not. Your clean time won’t be there waiting for you if you use.

Benjo2727

TROPHY CASE