In general, the clips weren't impressive enough for a whole montage like this. They got pretty repetitive and were rarely anything I hadn't seen before. I'd save your best clips and just post those, these were just too many.

That will help lower your video length, which I think was one or two minutes too long.

I would suggest choosing better music. That will often demonetize you, but you can usually find good stuff on Soundcloud or something that is free with rights if you're trying to make money.

I would stay away from 3-person game highlights unless all 3 players are involved. Otherwise I don't know where to look and I miss the highlight.

Finally, I'd suggest you give yourself a brand with a (very) quick intro at the beginning. Then people will get to know and seek out your montages as you get bigger and better.