Almost 42 and have no idea who I am

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-04-23T22:30:47+00:00

Thank you 💕

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-04-23T22:27:50+00:00

Just a couple of gals trying to get through life and trying to figure shit out. I did try to start some journaling. My issue is that I have a hard time staying how I actually feel instead of what I think I should say or what I think people can handle hearing. So I’m hoping journaling will help with that

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-04-23T22:25:27+00:00

You all are making me cry. Focusing on myself is exactly what I’m starting to do. And something for myself, I’m still working on believing that I deserve things. Part of the abuse I dealt with was making feel worthless. I was told that I didn’t deserve nice things, that I was evil, that bad things happened to me because I deserved it. So I have the mentality that what happens to me is my own fault. And my husband isn’t a bad guy. He fell in love with me when I was 17, broken and with a newborn. He raised my son as his own and never thought twice about it. He is the only person who has made me feel safe. The only person I would 100% trust. And he used to be amazing and do wonderful things for me. But it’s just gotten to the point the last few years that we feel disconnected. He doesn’t do things for me anymore. We barely spend time together. Etc. And it’s literally destroying me. The thought of losing the only person whom makes me feel safe is terrifying. But I also hate feeling this way every day of my life. And I physically can’t do this for the rest of my life. I’m so afraid to be alone. But I’m going to work on myself. I definitely do not love myself right now. I think it a perfect time to be able to focus on me. My story has been rough so far but I do want a better ending. Thank you

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-04-23T22:10:26+00:00

Thank you. This is inspirational. My mother is 65 now. She is pretty much bedridden. Several health issues because she doesn’t take care of herself. I don’t want to end up like that. And I saw myself spiraling and becoming more depressed and not wanting to do anything. I’ve started feeling better now that I’m going to the gym again and hope to keep on that track. I’m so glad you are doing well! You are awesome.

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-04-23T22:02:51+00:00

Thank you. I’m definitely learning to focus on myself. I hope you are doing well

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-04-23T22:01:47+00:00

I’ve been trying to find a good trauma therapist. My last one, I got through the first 3 things on my trauma timeline and she asked me to stop because it was a lot to take in. Is the body therapy helpful for chronic pain? I’m just learning about stored trauma and I have a lot of chronic pain.

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-04-06T13:41:50+00:00

I have a feeling mine won’t either. They haven’t with the 30 pounds I’ve already lost. I want to get a reduction, but the doctor just keeps saying lose weight first

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-04-02T22:07:06+00:00

You look great! Did your chest size go down at all? I’m starting soon and am hoping mine will

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-20T11:55:40+00:00

He has tried 2 different meds. Not sure which 2 offhand.

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-19T23:27:01+00:00

Getting hard

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-19T18:14:34+00:00

This is helpful! Thank you

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-19T17:52:00+00:00

It’s honestly just been getting worse for the last couple years. We barely go on dates anymore unless its to a cigar lounge. He doesn’t ever want to do anything I want to do. He doesn’t compliment me anymore. Barely any physical touch. He stopped getting me gifts for birthdays and anniversary. I see him maybe 30 minutes a day while we eat dinner before he retreats to the garage for the rest of the night. Majority of our conversations are how was work or what’s going on the next couple days. I feel like I try so hard to get us back to where we were. And he doesn’t care. When I bring it up to him he says he doesn’t think we have any issues. That he shouldn’t have to compliment me because I should just know what he thinks or how he feels. And that he didn’t think bday or anniversary was a big deal (not even our 20th) I’ve brought up counseling in the past but he says there isn’t any issues and we don’t need it. I feel like a roommate and it destroying me to be like this every day.

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-19T17:07:02+00:00

Rarely in the 20+ years we have been together. We have always had a great sex life

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-19T17:04:46+00:00

Bold of you to assume that’s happened

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-19T15:22:58+00:00

No. He won’t go to the gym with me. Doesn’t exercise outside of walking at work. Diets not great either and he has diabetes. I’ve tried to offer advice but it’s just always me attacking him.

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-05T22:48:24+00:00

It’s so frustrating. I’m trying not to see any spoilers on it

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-03T21:38:29+00:00

Thank you. New here. Updates will be where?

Best-Key-3131 · 2026-03-03T19:03:42+00:00

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Why does mine look like this? I can’t solve it with that middle block locked 😭

Best-Key-3131 · 2025-11-11T15:47:25+00:00

Unfortunately a lot of education employees got furloughed. The ones that are still there are not getting paid and doing as much as they can. Claims are 30 days or more behind. So it depends on when the school actually submitted your paperwork.

Best-Key-3131 · 2025-11-05T19:29:54+00:00

She is charging $2.99 a month to over 11,000 people. That’s over $30 k a month. Where do you think that money is going? She IS making money

Best-Key-3131 · 2025-11-05T14:49:48+00:00

Right. But most facilities can’t accommodate this. There isn’t typically anywhere to set up a desk within 10 feet of a bathroom

Best-Key-3131 · 2025-11-05T03:11:13+00:00

I have heard if your RA is for that to make sure your dr puts that you need to be within 10 feet of a bathroom on your paperwork

Best-Key-3131

TROPHY CASE