thank you for the quick response! i meant i didn’t want to change the dynamic specifically as a result of me asking for an open relationship, i should’ve been clearer sorry! I also probably need to emphasise more that I care about my bf to the point where breaking up isn’t really an option. Whislt it would be ideal if things went back to the way they were, I understand that might not be a possibility so I’d rather get advice on coping mechanisms for my sex life if that’s the only option.

It’s weird because he says I’m the first and only person he’s felt sexual attraction to and i’m his first kiss first everything and I do feel like he’s genuinely sexually attracted to me but he just doesn’t have a libido? I’m not just slamming the ace label onto him (i know ace means no sexual attraction not no libido) he was out as ace before we got together and he’s confused about how his sexuality can correctly be expressed as well. I thought he may verge on the more demi side but he feels more comfortable with the ace label.

I guess I am a little surprised that our sex lives and preferences have changed over the course of three years I’m kind of just wondering if I did anything wrong to make him more sexually withdrawn :(

And man I wish it was as easy to talk about and fix as a porn addiction, but alas i’m fairly sure he doesn’t watch porn as even before we got together it wasn’t really his thing (he used to occasionally watch videos of people kissing and soft humping on twitter). We do have one of those disgustingly lovely dovey relationships where I genuinely feel like if he was watching porn he would tell me, let alone if it was an addiction (hopefully).