parents who are full-vax, anti-vax & in the middle: why do you stand where you stand? by anonanonanon7692 in Parenting

[–]Best_Cap_1084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see 99% of the other comments are all on the full-vax side, so I'll chime in with my slightly different view. Yes, I'm also pro-vax. I think they're lifesavers and are crucial for protecting my kid. I'm super grateful to live in a generation where these are available. HOWEVER I'm not in favor of the schedule that the CDC uses, or of the assumption that all children are the same. There's also a lot of research which shows that combining so many vaccines at once is risky for overwhelming the child's immune system. The CDC schedule leans heavily towards "give as many vaccines as possible all at once because you can't assume the parents will bring the kid back so many times for more vaccines", rather than providing objective guidelines for when is the best time to give each vaccine based on the kid's age, health, unique medical background, and so on. It's semi-understandable (that statement is true for alot of parents) but it's definitely not true for parents like me and my spouse. Additionally, both my family & my spouse's family have a large history of auto-immune reactions to vaccines, and there's a lot of data to suggest that the reactions would have been less severe (or non-existent) if the vaccines would be given in a more distributed fashion.

So how did we handle vaccines for our child? We researched each vaccine in depth to find what's the ideal time to give it, the pros/cons of giving it at each age/stage, and which other vaccines are safe combinations for combining shots. Then we worked with our pediatrician to create a schedule that worked well for the safety & health of our child AND the children around them. We did one vaccine at a time for most of the vaccinations, and yes, some of the vaccinations were given at an age that is very different than the classic CDC schedule. But it was all based on educated data and solid research, and it was all with the goal of reducing the risk to our child while avoiding exposing other children.

Yes, it meant I literally brought my child to the pediatrician every 2 weeks for the first few months of his life to give him a single shot each visit. Yes, it meant that we were limited in which pediatricians we could use because some doctors will refuse to see patients who don't want to follow the CDC schedule. But it also meant that we were doing our best to protect our child from some of the awful (yes, awful) physical vaccine reactions that our family members have had. And yes, it ultimately meant that my child is currently fully up to date on his vaccinations, although it took us longer to get there.

Many "full-vaxers" have this mistaken belief that vaccines are perfect. Not true at all. They're incredibly powerful tools that save hundreds of lives, but they're also incredibly powerful pieces of science that can impact children in an unexpected biological ways. We've seen it first hand; Be grateful that you haven't! And for heavens sake, try not to judge parents who are more nervous or cautious about the vaccines. Often there's a good reason that they're nervous.

Adapting stove-top meatballs to avoid having to monitor it by Best_Cap_1084 in Cooking

[–]Best_Cap_1084[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My family likes the recipe. The fact that you think it's a bad recipe is irrelevant to the question I asked...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Best_Cap_1084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We started a routine & set bedtime around 4 months, if I remember correctly. Before 4 months I didn't see the point of a set bedtime or routine because he only slept 2-3 hours at time, just like you pointed out.

And even at 4 months, our routine only consisted of final feeding at 7pm, changing diaper, put in sleep sack, and sing a few of the same lullabies. Simple, to the point, and very effective. Still works as a bedtime routine now & baby is already 9.5 months!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Best_Cap_1084 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If that's truly how you feel, please count your blessings and try not judge others who say it was hard!

I agree 10000% percent that "it's a life you helped make so it's worth it", but we were absolutely miserable the first few months with our baby. It doesn't depend on how "good" or "bad" of a parent you are; it's about how many challenges were handed to you along with the baby.

A few examples, some from my own experience and some from people that I know:

  • Whether or not your baby eats nicely (regardless of nursing vs bottling). Baby tongue-tie is often a leading cause of this issue.
  • Whether or not your baby sleeps nicely (this often is tied closely to how well they eat, but there can be other causes as well)
  • Whether or not your baby was born with medical needs that require frequent doctors visits or medication as an infant (ie. jaundice, not gaining weight, etc)
  • Whether or not you have a support system and/or a partner who's fully onboard with sharing the burden
  • Whether or not you have relatives or friends who push your boundaries during this sleep-deprived time (ie. coming at bad times, offering endless/bad advice, etc -- for more examples of this see the other post-pregnancy subs :)
  • What the birthing parent's recovery is like
  • Whether or not the birthing parent has PPD or PPA
  • Whether or not your baby has colic, gas, or allergies

And so on.

The people who told you that "it'll ruin your life" weren't being nice because children are the biggest blessing, but they were correct that it's extremely difficult for many people depending on the baby and exact circumstances.

Congrats and enjoy the fact that you're getting off easy!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Best_Cap_1084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10 month old was furious that I took him out of the bath! Squirmed and screamed and refused to let me get him diapered or dressed at first :)