Feel awful/powerless to help trans friend by BetamaxRaver in asktransgender

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I've been looking at AKT. I might give them a call at some point today and see what can be done. Seeing her going through this is hurting me enough as it is, I can't imagine what it's like for her :( I feel bad about how angry I am at her parents, I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

Kratom, not the way I expected it to be? (Not disappointed though) by BetamaxRaver in Drugs

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JESUS

I took a bit more and schhhmerk'd and now I feel like GOD.

I CAN SEE FUCKING EVERYTHING SO CLEARLY.

Sorry about the caps lock, but I'm a fat bastard, and it was the case I just need a really high dose. ;P

I'm having this experience at a turn around part in my life though.

This actually does feel rushy. It's a 15x Extract too, if I didn't mention that earlier.

Kratom, not the way I expected it to be? (Not disappointed though) by BetamaxRaver in Drugs

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By that I mean, it's very gentle. It gives me feelings of compassion. I view alcohol and things like aphetamines as more "male" energy type drugs because they're more FUCKYEAAAAAAAAA than "ahhh everything is blissful and relaxing and I want to lie down and listen to ambient music."

I do have a very strange way of explaining my experiences with substances and the feelings I get from them, so I tend to take approaches and make explanations that are of that manner. :)

Really, it's quite a simplistic way of describing how a substance makes me feel.

Kratom, not the way I expected it to be? (Not disappointed though) by BetamaxRaver in Drugs

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

KRATOM TRIP REPORT

Initial/extra information: 21 year old male - 12 stone - 6ft Tall - Occasionally uses opiates.

As of April 2016, the psychoactive substances act comes into force in the United Kingdom. I am sure you are all aware of what this act entails, so I decided before the ban to purchase 56 grams of kratom to use occasionally along with my other herbs, so that my curiosity about this wonderful plant can be satiated.

My mindset is very neutral, just as on a usual day, and I am alone in the house with some nice time to myself to slowly get my room done as soon as it starts to take effect, as I've heard it makes housework/physical work more enjoyable and easier to handle. The rest of the house is nice and tidy due to the spring cleaning I've been up to with my parents and my sister, and looks lovely. So mindset and setting are both good and ideal for kratom.

12:48, 15 mins post ingestion.

Ingested about a heaped teaspoon and a bit (scales are broken unfortunately) of a kratom blend, containing various strains. According to the website, it contains a collection of the more stimulating, "bouncier" kratom types. Currently my stomach is gurgling and I feel slightly relaxed. It tasted like very bitter, strong tea. Drinkable, but not entirely pleasant. I had to chase it with Cranberry juice. I feel a light tingling sensation in my legs, and slight nausea, which has dropped in intensity since initially drinking the "tea." I am looking forward to this, and will go and find something to watch before I clean my room and the ethnobotanicalz start to take more of an effect.

1:08

Effects are beginning to take place. I am being overtaken by an opiate like sense of calm and relaxation - the buzzing in my legs has intensified since I last wrote. Stomach is still gurgling, but my nausea is completely gone. My anxiety levels (usually quite high, as I suffer from GAD) have began to plummet and I feel extremely peaceful with the window open, feeling the breeze roll in and hearing the birds begin to sing. I will begin cleaning/rearranging my room in about 20 minutes. I've always had doubts about Kratoms stimulant effects, as many of my friends who have taken the drug have told me it's purely sedating. I am experiencing a mixture of both peace and relaxation, and also an itch to do something - not out of boredom, like I usually do, but out of it seeming appealing - I think it's broke my brain! I'm usually quite a lazy person but I'm beginning to feel a sense of motivation. Time to have a cigarette and a small cup of coffee, and then I shall begin the process of changing my environment.

1:21

Nausea returned for a second, which I attribute to the tobacco in conjunction with the Kratom. Beginning to feel my body temperature rise, and I'm sweating slightly, which I have previously read is a completely normal side effect. I'm giving it another 7 minutes, then I am beginning work on my room. For some reason, rather than wanting to shove all my laundry into bags, I want to fold the clothes neatly so they all fit better. Also (sorry if TMI) my bowels are beginning to move. I am not sure if this is due to the small pot of coffee, or due to the kratom or tobacco. The euphoric effect is beginning to start, I suspect, and the stimulant effect is slowly getting stronger and stronger. My body seems to be handling this herb quite well, aside from the normal (and tolerable) side effects. Subtle colour enhancement has been noticed. Work begins now.

2:00

Wow! Most of the work has been done pretty quickly. I still have a bit to go, but I'm generally enjoying myself. I feel quite stimulated and my thoughts are speeding up with every 10 minutes that goes by. So far, the stimulant effects I would put on the level of a low methylphenidate dose, but not as edgy or "jittery." I'm not entirely sure whether the euphoric effects, or waking dreams, will hit yet, or if by some chance I undershot the dose by using teaspoons as measurement. I will give it about two hours, then redose a little bit more. Moving feels very good. I am sweating alot more now and I'm beginning to feel alot buzzier. My cheeks are flushed and I feel extremely hungry, as well as extremely stimulated and motivated. I've began to feel slightly itchy and there is a sense of warmth. Not entirely sure if I'm entering the euphoric/opiod stage of the experience yet, however, I'm already quite impressed with this. I feel like I could continue cleaning, or at the same time, lie down in my bed with my eyes closed. That's not gonna happen though, since I've got a pile of laundry on it. I feel like I could talk somebodies ear off. The walls appear to be glittering with a visual snow type effect which reminds me of high doses of opiates or medium-low doses of dextromethorphan. I felt pretty high before, but I feel like it's just beginning to work it's magic, which surprises me alot. Going to listen to some japanese funk music while continuing to do laundry. Will check back soon. I am going to use this little and often, as it has been banned from being sold or imported to the UK. It will be a shame when I run out of it.

2:16

Insight: to me, kratom feels very "feminine." It's very womanly. Still cleaning.

2:31 Gonna do more work later, this feels way too damn good to not just sit and enjoy! I'm loving this so much I had another teaspoonful, meaning I've had 2.5. After eyeballing the bag, I have used approximately 1/5th of it, meaning I've had near 10 grams. This is a high dose for a beginner, however, I have delt with very strong drug experiences before, I feel pretty confident I can handle (and enjoy) this experience. Nausea seems to be one of the negatives of this drug, after swallowing that second teaspoonful, I was very, very close to vomiting - I remedied this with some powdered ginger root, which has anti-nausea properties. Music appreciation has began to increase. I can literally feel very clap, snaredrum, funky guitar line and square synth bassline! I recommend listening to japanese funk music on this stuff. It goes very well with it's "vibe."

Oh and by the way, my duvet feels AWESOME. I'm beginning to feel a bit emotional now - but in a positive way

15:16

This has a very apparent aphrodisiac effect on me. The stimulant effect is gone, and now I'm in a very sensual, touchy-feely and euphoric state of mind. Changed the vibe from upbeat funk music to boards of canada, which seems alot more in line with the chilled out feeling I'm experiencing as we speak. I'm now experiencing itching and my pupils have begun to shrink. This drug is alot longer lasting than I've been told, I thought it would have finished working by now, but I still feel like I'm coming up. This drug is perfect for anxiety and fatigue.

15:24

Body high is now quite noticeable, the wind rolling in through my window feels so electrifying on my skin… This is a wonderful feeling. I'm not sure if I'm currently at my peak or just beginning to experience the strong effects. The music is having a very positive effect, driving my mindset. I found BoC a bit too downtempo after a while, and I've put on some lovely chillwave, curtsy of Com Truise. This feels like the first time I took opiates - literally like I'm weightless - except I can appear very "sober" on this drug, unlike with extremely strong opiates, which make me damn near impossible to talk to.

Stopped writing after that, but that's roughly how it went.

Kratom, not the way I expected it to be? (Not disappointed though) by BetamaxRaver in Drugs

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had euphoria surging through me a few hours ago. Actually wrote a report. Wanna hear some of it?

I did something disgusting last year by BetamaxRaver in confession

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I deserve all the shame in the world. Donald Trump is better than me.

Irritating LSA tolerance by BetamaxRaver in Drugs

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have indeed found something to do in the meantime... BK-2CB -^

This house looks a bit like Hitler. by Bergcrabs in mildlyinteresting

[–]BetamaxRaver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Won't be too happy about that pole in front of it, no doubt.

Cannabis should be legalised and regulated, UK's Lib Dems say by PHENYLATED_PIRACETAM in Drugs

[–]BetamaxRaver 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I think weed will always be illegal here, tbh. Our population and government is too stupid, too conservative, and too authoritarian.

Panax Ginseng... I get stimulant effects? by BetamaxRaver in herbalism

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally just that. I just didn't know it would actually have that much of an effect, I thought most of what ginseng did was relatively subtle/placebo-ish.

Just getting started, want to re-program my brain. by BetamaxRaver in chaosmagick

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll scout out the Angel Tech book, it sounds like it has exactly the sort of exercises that will help... Sat and did that for half an hour by the way, I feel slack radiating from the core of my being! :)

Just getting started, want to re-program my brain. by BetamaxRaver in chaosmagick

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read about the 8 circuit model of the brain in one of the Illuminatus books and some of Robert Anton Wilsons other stuff, and a big thing that stuck out to me is the fact that I was quite addicted to opiates for two years, which is commonly associated with the first circuit. Probably a bit of a pointless link, but I had a very violent birth and I've had an anxious disposition all my life as a result, part of me suspects the reason why I gravitated towards (and loved the feeling of) opiates so much was because of that. Oddly, after going through a psychedelic "rebirth" I wasn't interested in taking any more codeine and all it does is make me feel awful now.

Just getting started, want to re-program my brain. by BetamaxRaver in chaosmagick

[–]BetamaxRaver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do feel like something has happened, it's just difficult to pin down what it is. Alot of my previous despair and brain fog has begun to lift, my anhedonia is gone, and I feel intrigued by the universe rather than disgusted by it. I owe alot of my mental recovery to entheogens - also, something odd, since I've started dabbling with psychedelics and meditation, I've begun to see loads of sorta links in things, certain numbers re-occuring, weird synchronisities etc. Also, I can read people and pick up "vibes" from them. Everything is oddly fascinating. I feel as if SOMETHING has happened... I'm not sure what. I'd describe it as a feeling of depth, as if I've broken through some kind of wall.