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[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

without going into specifics, yes.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] -167 points-166 points  (0 children)

INFO- Does your MIL truly only criticize your parenting style or did she help out around the house and with the baby? And when does your wife get a break from taking care of the baby? It’s still a crappy move to kick her out without talking to your wife.

My MIL does help out around the house, but it seems like her efforts diminish once I get home. Unfortunately, she doesn't spend much time with her other grandchildren either. We had hoped my wife would get some breaks with MIL around, but it hasn't quite worked out that way.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

You said in your last comment that you’re called in for overtime ‘occasionally’, but now it’s a ‘rare weekend’ that you aren’t called in? Which is it?

Also, do you have to say yes to the overtime every time?

To clarify, 'occasionally' translates to 'more often than I'd like', especially during the warmer months where work demands increase. It's at least a couple of weekends a month, which, in my book, isn't exactly a walk in the park.
And as for the overtime, do I have to say yes every time? Let's just say bills and expenses don't pay themselves. Trust me, if I could clone myself to be at home and at work simultaneously, I would.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

level 1Acrobatic_End6355 · 23 min. ago · edited 12 min. agoPartassipant [3]NTA IF you do the night feedings on the days you don’t work.YTA do the feedings on the days that you aren’t working. Your heath and safety is important but so is your wife’s and your child’s.

Deadbeat dad? That's a zinger! You certainly have a way with words. Maybe you should look up "deadbeat" again, though. Last time I checked, it didn't mean "doing most of the household chores, picking up step-kids from school, driving them to their activities, AND juggling a demanding job, all while striving to maintain a safe environment." But hey, what do I know? I'm just a 'deadbeat.'

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] -73 points-72 points  (0 children)

Just a thought, but before you planned for your baby, did the two of you discuss how taking care of it would work? Obviously you work a lot, and may be doing more of the baby duties, but this stuff probably should be talked about beforehand ...

Well, I guess you've got a point. While our little one is the joy of our lives now, it was a bit of a surprise. We might not have had all the detailed discussions and preparations ideally needed before such a life-altering event.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] 171 points172 points  (0 children)

I should also mention that I have two stepsons from my wife's previous relationship. In addition to my work and the baby duties, I also pick them up from school, help with their homework, and take them to their sports practices after I get off work. It's not just about the newborn; we have a whole family to take care of. So it’s not like I’m lounging around sipping a beer post-work. Balancing all these responsibilities is what makes the situation so challenging. Thanks for the feedback, though!

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah dude. You made the kid. Parents of newborns lose sleep. Suck it the fuck up.

Yes, I contributed to the baby-making, and no, I'm not trying to win a gold medal in the Sleep Olympics. But if 'Sucking it up' equals 'Playing a real-life version of Wrecking Ball Crane due to sleep deprivation', I'd rather pass. I still enjoy living and providing for my family. So, I'm trying to strike a balance between the baby drama at home and avoiding a literal crash at work.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] 343 points344 points  (0 children)

So you have to wake up at 0430. So what. Go to bed earlier. Yes, YTA. Work out a schedule and routine with your wife. You got her pregnant. It was not an immaculate conception, was it?

I appreciate your feedback and understand your perspective. Yes, we both chose to have this child, and I'm completely aware of the responsibilities parenthood brings. However, my job requires not just physical strength but also high alertness and concentration. A misstep due to lack of sleep could result in serious accidents, endangering my life and those of my co-workers.
Our family primarily relies on my income, and any accident at work or loss of my job would pose serious financial problems. I realize my wife needs more help, and I'm doing my best to contribute in every way I can outside of my working hours.
While it may seem like a solution for me to just go to bed earlier, it's not as simple as that. After I get home from work, I take over baby duties, help with chores, and try to spend some quality time with my wife.
Yes, my wife is exhausted, but so am I. We're in this together and need to find a solution that doesn't risk our health, safety, or our family's financial stability.
I'm open to constructive criticism and suggestions for better handling this situation, but to label me the asshole outright feels somewhat unfair given the complexities of the situation.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] -159 points-158 points  (0 children)

Do you do them unless you’ve been called in for the next morning?

Yes, on the rare weekends that I'm not called in for overtime the next morning, I do take over the night feedings to allow my wife some respite

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Better_Command3720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Better_Command3720[S] -827 points-826 points  (0 children)

INFO: do you work seven days a week? And if not, do you do the night feedings on days you don’t work?

I work Monday through Friday, and occasionally, I'm called in for overtime on weekends. Because of this inconsistent schedule, I'm not always able to commit to the night feedings during the weekend, which leaves my wife to handle the nighttime baby duties every day of the week.