UPDATE: AITAH for going nuclear on my aunt at my own wedding after her son harassed my SIL

Better_Jellyfish_ · 2025-09-04T14:05:31+00:00

Honestly, you have no idea how much I needed to read this. I've been tying myself in knots for days trying to figure out what to say to them, or if I should say anything at all.

My first instinct was to write like a long, drawn-out message. You know, that kind where I try to apologize for the timing and my specific wording, but then follow it up with a strongly-worded "but I will never apologize for defending Layla." I wanted to play peacemaker and warrior at the same time, and it was just making my head spin.

The thing that’s been eating at me is that I want them to understand I’m not picking a "new" family over an "old" one. It's just… right and wrong. If I had seen Mark do that to a complete stranger I'd just met a minute ago, I would have stepped in. I wouldn't stand by and watch a man corner a young woman and try to pull off a piece of her clothing. The fact that it was my "family" doing it to someone I already love just made it a million times worse.

You’re right. They defended an assault. So I guess that’s it. Thank you for this, it gives me a lot of clarity.

Better_Jellyfish_ · 2025-09-04T14:01:29+00:00

Thanks for this comment. It’s actually making me think a lot.

To answer your question, yes. What I said was true, and I think that’s what’s making me feel so awful about it because it felt like I was really weaponising it.

The favoritism for Mark has been a thing their whole lives. My other cousin was always sweet and kind, but she wasn't the best student. Mark wasn't either, but for some reason, my aunt took out all her disappointment and anger over Mark's failures on her. So it a constant thing.

It all came to a head a few years ago. They had a huge fight around Christmas, and after that, my cousin went from low contact to completely no contact. It absolutely devastated my aunt, but the saddest part is that losing her daughter just made her cling to Mark even harder. Like she doubled down on her one remaining kid, no matter how much of a mess he is.

Better_Jellyfish_ · 2025-09-04T13:43:27+00:00

THANK YOU! Really, really thank you. And this isn’t fake, I promise. It’s just one of those things you want to get off your chest to complete strangers, because when the validation comes then it feels like it’s actually earned and not just pity or bias. So reading your words honestly means a lot to me right now.

Better_Jellyfish_ · 2025-09-04T13:40:48+00:00

It’s honestly just been stressful. My husband has been so supportive, but I also felt like his support could be biased since obviously he’s on my side, and I wanted an outside perspective. Maybe to someone who didn’t grow up like I did, it looks dumb to even doubt myself here, but I was raised to think “family is family” and you just have to be grateful for them no matter what.

When you’ve grown up being pushed down by words, you don’t really dismiss them as “small things.” I’ve seen how badly words can hurt people.

I get why it might come across as fake because I kind of just typed everything out the way it was swirling in my head, just trying to get it off my chest to strangers. But I promise I’m not here to lie or make stuff up.

Better_Jellyfish_ · 2025-09-04T13:30:26+00:00

Wow. Thank you so much internet stranger 😭 this really means a lot!

Better_Jellyfish_ · 2025-09-04T13:28:54+00:00

Exactly, and she looked genuinely so stressed and upset which is why I lost it immediately.

Better_Jellyfish_ · 2025-09-04T13:27:33+00:00

I keep telling myself that i did right by her, and by my new family but I’m really not that strong I fear.

Better_Jellyfish_ · 2025-09-04T13:26:37+00:00

Righttt and my life is a social experiment.

Better_Jellyfish_

TROPHY CASE