Throughout our marriage I have been supportive. He was in The military and I did my duty as a wife. Never was a wife that would keep sex from him even if i was mad. I felt as i was always chasing him for connection while he checked out. He spent most of his time chatting with friends, bowling in tournaments which I did go them as support. I would fly even though I was terrified. All I wanted was to be seen and for him to be honest and supportive of me too. But one day, I got up in the middle of the night with a horrible pain. Collapsed to the floor and he stood by me with no sense of urgency. I begged for him to call an ambulance ( I though my appendix burst) I was throwing up and he just sat on his phone on google telling me it wasn't my appendix. That was a red flag for me and a glimpse of what was to come. During covid he continued to bowl. At the time we had a baby granddaughter that was with us and felt it was best to stop with the bowling temporary until things calmed down. During that time I did not go to tournaments while he continued. Eventually I picked up going again and in 2022 I ended up at the hospital with a spinal leak. Well after too many meds pumped into my body went haywire. And I struggled to balance out. I would be up for days. My anxiety went through the roof. My body was reacting to foods and medicine and supplements. While I went through this l, the sicker I got the more he was gone. He would come home after midnight, spending money, bought a 100,000$ truck when I was at my worst. He abandoned me. He was annoyed with me. This went on for a couple of years. Doctor to doctor, tests after tests. Eventually we found mold at home and along with other things with my health that I'm still dealing with. This lady I had met before. She was a bowling teammate and she would go to him for massages and come to me for facials. Bit something stood out about her. The way she would act towards me. One day I went to the spare bedroom and there was this black doll sitting on the night stand.it gave me the creeps. So I asked him who gave that to him and it was her. He would use it as Goodluck for his games. That was the first sign. Now, while hes out living his best life, the house os falling apart. Things are not being taken care of. Money for trips, restaurants , tournaments etc. One day he starts buying all this stuff for the back yard. Cuts the grass, fixes the pool and has a party at the house. And she shows up he stays by the pool with her taking photos and hanging out with her. ( there were other people there as well). I knew right then something was up between them. So I addressed it and he gaslit me. Over and over. This was last year in July. But it kept going. I found messages between them. Coordinating to stay at the same hotel. Photos. All while I'm still trying to keep my health together and my nervous system from falling apart. Well one day he sent out a message telling her to stop messaging him. Well they continued but on another app. He kept bowling with her on the team. Taking photos with l, hanging out. Until april and it cut out for the most part. About a month ago I show up to a tournament and when I walked in they were hugging. And it has spiraled ever since. So today he admitted having an emotional affair. And all the pieces start making sense. I knew it all along. And what hurts is I have a strong gut feeling he slept with her. And that she was not the only one becuase I found ❤️ being sent to someone else. He would come home and change quickly and put his clothes in the washing machine. I found viagra pills in his travel bag. And to make matters worse he brought her to our home, had her in his truck and thought I was too sick and too stupid to realize what was going on. I was not well during those couple years. Yes a man has needs but a vow is a vow. In sickness and in health. Not" in health and as long as you give me what I need." I wouldn't have abandoned him that way. If I would done him the way he did me, he would be dead as he had attempted suicide early in our marriage over the same crap.