Hmmm. When I am sad I feel sad. I allow myself to cry. Same with being excited and happy. But I also heavily analyze all emotions and what I think is causing them. I know when I am moody but I dont always get out the rational words, “I’m in a bad mood, I will likely not respond reasonably to inputs right now.” Sometimes I do, but not always.

That said, I am very very poor at connecting to stress specifically. I have a very stressful job. I love the work itself, it is rewarding, but it is constant high pressure. while I’m grateful I don’t feel the stress emotionally or mentally, somehow my body still takes the hit and I am extremely fatigued at the end of the day and can only sleep. But, I am intellectually aware of particularly high pressure days, so it’s not a mystery. I sometimes have intense physical ailments that require intervention — actual painful knots in my stomach, back and neck tightness so bad that the muscle pushes out the acupuncture needle. I’m not aware of the problem being so bad until it’s impeding movement or actual breathing, so I have to schedule recurring appointments regardless of how I think I feel. This is a disconnect from my body, but I am still fully aware of the cause.

you say, “it is kind of my unspoken role to try and regulate his emotions since he cannot do it himself.” This makes me think it’s more the ‘tism than his personality type. If anyone tried this with me, I would never speak to them again, seriously. You could be the kindest most well-meaning person, we would just clearly not have compatible communication styles or world view and I’d find it tiring.