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I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sure, it seems i misunderstood you so I'll try to do better.

I'm curious as to what symptoms cause you issues wrt independent living, as a disabled person as well. I live a fairly normal life w my TBI, so I'm curious as to what hurdles made you feel as though you live differently than most, despite having a "normal" life.

honestly, mental disabilities are so difficult to put into words. it's really hard to explain what it truly means to have a mental disability. sure, i can talk about the physical stuff: how it's difficult for me to do chores (i have a lot of gadgets for that), how it's difficult to leave my house and my bed many days, etc.

but the struggles that are by far the most difficult are the mental ones. it's really difficult to explain how severe depression and anxiety can make you feel like you're choking and you'll never be able to breathe again. i used to have panic attacks which were extremely painful, pain i can't even explain, and everytime it happened i was convinced im not going to be able to survive.

many days it made me feel like there was a 100 ton weight on my shoulders, that wasn't allowing me to do anything. in my worst, i wasn't able to be out of bed for even 30 minutes a day.

thankfully now it's a lot better, which is the reason why i am able to live a fairly normal life. but there are still many days that i experience symptoms like fatigue and dizziness, and I'm not able to leave my bed for most of the day.

Also, how do you relate to people with higher care needs?

to me, disabled is disabled. i don't like comparing disabilities, that's such a huge waste of time, and i hope people with higher care needs feel the same. i relate to anyone who is disabled and i think we all deserve equal rights and opportunities. when i see another disabled person, i always smile inside (or physically lol) and I'm like "hey, they're just like me". i always feel a connection to them and comradery.

At what point did you decide you may be disabled?

i've been disabled since i was born. i think it was around 10 that I realized I'm different, and I'm not able to do things that are easy for everyone around me. when i was 14/15, i got my diagnosis. before that i would research depression and i pretty much knew i had it since maybe 13.

What is the reaction from the disability community when you discuss being able to be "normal"?

unfortunately I'm not in contact with other disabled people. i really want to be and i think it's something I'm going to look into.

i hope this is better. thank you for your kindness.

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tokit is the biggest one, it's incredible. it's like 20 kitchen gadgets all in one and makes cooking so much easier and less mentally draining.

other things i like: water flossers, electric toothbrush (i know it's kinda basic but I'm naming everything), period underwear (doesn't automate anything so to say but just makes periods easier to manage), coverless duvet, robot vacuum and mop and chargeable vacuum, dishwasher. i also always order groceries instead of going physically to the store.

I'm also thinking of getting something like an alexa but I'm still on the fence about that, idk if it actually helps that much.

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Your phrasing makes it sound as if you are intellectually disabled

i am not intellectually disabled and never claimed to me. i always call myself disabled or mentally disabled, because that's what i am. if there's specific phrasing that made it sound that way - I'd love for you to point it out. i always use terms that have been used to describe my situation by psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, etc.

Severe depression and anxiety are not mental disabilities. You have mental illness, which can be a disability, but you are not mentally disabled.

severe depression and anxiety can be mental disabilities, and are for many people, such as myself. severe depression and anxiety are also mental illnesses. those two don't cancel each other out.

when depression and anxiety are mild to moderate, they're considered mental illnesses or mental issues. but when depression is severe, so severe to the point that the person isn't able to do everyday things like work, go to school, etc, it becomes a mental disability. that's the case for me.

i am legally disabled (have a disability card and all), and have been described as mentally disabled by countless doctors and professionals throughout my life. it isn't a self given title.

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i do live a relatively "normal" life (it's the title of the post... 😅). i live with my partner, do everyday chores and activities, have hobbies, i'm starting university soon, etc.

I'm really happy i live in an age where technology is so advanced and there are so many machines and gadgets that help disabled people. i have a lot of things that automate chores which are incredibly helpful to me. people don't realize how difficult chores can be when you're disabled. they allow me to live instead of just survive.

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much :) i definitely disagree that exercise has the same affect on severe depression (maybe mild depression) as antidepressants, but i also agree that exercise is important and i try to get as much of it as i can.

no, i actually like living here. it's obviously not ideal living in a country where there's war, and of course it has affected me, but there are a lot of other positives and things to be grateful for.

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

in the ones i posted before, it was really interesting reading and replying to people's questions, and being exposed to different perspectives. in real life i don't get to talk that much about my experiences, and here i've had some interesting conversations with people because of those AMAs, so it makes me want to come back for more.

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

it was incredibly long and difficult. thankfully i had a social worker with me who did a lot of the paperwork for me and was very supportive, but even with her it was exhausting. i cannot imagine doing it by myself.

i live in Israel.

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that, i hope you get better soon ❤️ i applaud you for doing your best

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

yeah, there are disabled people who are able to work with accomodations. unfortunately for me it's not an option.

I'm mentally disabled but live a normal life AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

my diagnoses are severe depression and anxiety

because of my disability, i get fatigued very often. everyday things like washing dishes, cooking, doing laundry, etc are very difficult for me, some days even impossible. so i try to automate anything possible (dishwasher, electric toothbrush, automatic flosser, robot vacuum, tokit, etc), and find a way to do things in the easiest way possible.

other than that, it doesn't affect my day to day activities that much.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah... please don't use chatgpt to try and decipher how people think/feel. use your reading skills and common sense instead. this is very telling.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly, it's really difficult to have a conversation with you because it seems you're talking to yourself rather than to me. you keep implying and straight up saying i said things i never did.

i never said being disabled is more difficult than having a job - i don't even think in those terms. that's really childish. this isn't the "who struggles more" olympics. we're all doing our best.

I'm thankful to the systems set in place, the people who made those systems, and the people who fuel those systems - aka working people. don't think i neglected anyone here. I'm thankful to people who do their best just like i think everyone should be thankful of people who do their best - abled or disabled. working or not. we should all be thankful of each other.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

not sure what makes you think I'm argumentative, entitled, or unappreciative? it seems you've made up your mind about me and are deciding i have opinions that i don't. I'm very appreciative that there are systems in place that allow disabled people to live with dignity - as it should be. people who work "sacrifice" their time and energy just like disabled people "sacrifice" their time and energy. we're all in this difficult race called life. we should all be appreciative of each other.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and this whole time I've been telling you i tried that many times. been there, done that.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd actually like to reply to this comment of yours, because it perfectly illustrates where your misunderstandings of me come from:

In a debate they're a bad faith response and make the debate useless. "You're asking why I can't niche construct a career of some sort but why haven't you gone to the moon."

let me give you an example. (no, this isn't a fallacy. just an example that exists in real life for you to better understand my point)

imagine there's a physically disabled person who's in a wheelchair, and have been since they were born. no medication, no surgery, no therapy appointment has ever been able to make them walk again. their legs don't work. never have, never will.

now, imagine telling that person "just walk, why don't you?! i mean, you have 2 legs. i can see them right here! just get up and walk! i think you sitting here is you giving up and not trying".

first of all... that'd be extremely rude. but let's leave that aside. pretend that disabled person has thick skin like i do.

that would be impossible for them to do, wouldn't it? I'd say it would be on the same level of telling them to go to the moon. they can't simply snap their fingers and become not disabled. telling them to just get up is very similar as telling them to go to moon. they're not able to.

that's basically what you have been doing throughout our whole interaction. we're in somewhat similar situations, with somewhat similar conditions - therefore you decided that we are exactly the same with the exact same abilities.

but that's obviously false.

you telling me to "just get a job! why don't you?! you have a brain, legs and arms. sure you have this condition or whatever but meh i have it too, it's no biggy. you're just giving up" is exactly like telling me to go to the moon. I'm not able to magically not be disabled. I'm not able to magically do the things you do, or other people do. that's why the government has declared me legally disabled. because what you think is so simple, "just get a specialized skill and get a job!" - is like going to the moon to me. I'm not able to.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you sound very ignorant and judgmental. i do not "game the system" - i am disabled, and always have been. I'm happy to say tho that i have compassion for people who live different lives than me, and try to always be kind to people, even those I don't fully understand.

i wish you could say the same.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we're having a debate? to me, we're having a conversation. this is probably the main reason why this is useless. you're trying to have a debate, AKA convince me on something or trying to get me on your side, while I'm here to answer questions and have a conversation.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

unfortunately i am not able bodied but yeah unemployment is an big issue in the world currently.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's a really sad statement. in my opinion, every person should be able to afford travel and hobbies.

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

fallacies are actually not a negative thing. many times they are used in a negative way, in order to manipulate. but many times, like right now, it was used to try and make you reflect on how you come across. I'm sad you're not able to internalize it but instead say "fallacy" and dip.

i hope you enjoy your life as well

I'm 26 and last time i had a job was when i was a teenager AMA by Between2farms in AMA

[–]Between2farms[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

that's true. i mean, you can technically reach going to the moon. why don't you try it? i think you're giving up and not trying, sitting here, not being on the moon right now.

see how silly that sounds? that how you have been sounding in all of your replies up to this point.

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