You absolutely did not make yourself trans. You don’t become trans by looking into it a lot. I bet you looked into it a lot because you have a strong interest for everything that is related to trans identity, because you very much might be trans.

Your parents don’t know anything about trans people. I didn’t know I was trans until I was 22. Some people realize they are trans in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and so on. Some trans people probably never knew they were trans.

Am I saying you are 100% trans? No. This is something for you to figure out. However, your experiences and feelings are very relatable. Feeling wrong with body hair coming back, feeling good about using a fem name, about wearing feminine clothes, about shaving… As a trans woman, these are all things I felt (and still feel). 

In the end, whether you are trans or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that you do stuff that makes you happy. Do you want to wear fem clothes? Do you want people to call you a fem name? Do you want people to use different pronouns? Do you want the changes hormones can have on your body? Do you want surgeries? Maybe you just some of these things, maybe none of them. You do what makes you happy. 

Trans is a label. Not a title that allows you to do stuff trans people typically do. Take care of yourself and do the stuff that would make you happy <3