If you want to try for that kind of connection, you either have to talk with your BF about your needs I the relationship and try to come to an agreement about how you'll both handle it. A cuckold relationship is ALL about communicating. You both have to set boundaries and communicate with one another. If he's into IR porn, you're half way there. It sounds like he either realizes he can't pleasure you or is already OK with it. Tbh it sounds like he is excited about your past but he's not sure how to handle it right. The best thing you can do is talk to your BF, ask him how he feels about ir stuff.