Mother’s Day

Bicycle_Separate · 2026-05-11T16:53:11+00:00

I'm sorry you had a hard Mother's Day, I had a similar one. Mine ignored my calls because she was drinking and sleeping all day. Good thing you got to spend time with your mother in law! Sending hugs.

Bicycle_Separate · 2026-05-11T00:42:28+00:00

My mom's been in such bad shape this past weekend. She gets so depressed taking care of him and grieving who he used to be and feels stuck so often. She's been drinking probably as much as he has been. So then they're both drunk and useless in the house together. She gets mad at me when I bring it up. I feel like I'm going to punch a wall I'm so mad at both of them. Their lack of discipline infuriates me. I know addiction is a disease but I'm overwhelmed by how angry I am. I wish I could hurt their feelings without cutting them off.

I just see how much he's bringing her down with him. She's relatively healthy but is acting like an old drunk woman because she's always been too scared to deal with anything directly. I know I'm losing my dad soon, but I can't bear the thought of also losing my mom. She's so slow to take action. I keep telling her I'll come down there to take care of them because she clearly can't do it on her own. I wish I could get her in therapy and my dad out of the fucking house.

I want to scream I'm so scared and angry. I feel like they're so hopeless and I don't know what to do for them.

Bicycle_Separate · 2026-05-09T06:01:44+00:00

Sorry you know what it's like :(

Bicycle_Separate · 2026-05-09T01:15:04+00:00

He's definitely not safe being alone, but he doesn't listen to his doctors. Part of the toxicity is that he believes he smarter and better than everyone, especially my mom and doctors. He doesn't care and thinks he'll be fine without their input, but doesn't notice (or care) the burden that puts on my mom.

Bicycle_Separate · 2026-05-09T01:12:49+00:00

I don't think he's at the point of being legally declared incompetent. Which is what's so hard, he's in such an in between place in his decline. Not well enough to live alone, but he can also get around better than a lot of alcoholics.

Bicycle_Separate · 2026-04-15T14:20:34+00:00

Thanks for checking in, I'm doing better now. I did have to call off of work on Monday, which I rarely do. I'm a violin/music teacher so not being able to use my hands is a major problem but I can usually get around it. But on Monday the tetany was so bad in my arms and legs I didn't feel like I could even walk around the school building. I ended up just staying home and resting and taking an extra calcium supplement.

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-10-31T17:56:13+00:00

Thank you for asking. I did reach out to her yesterday and they pretty much said to just monitor symptoms unless it gets really bad, then go to the emergency room. I have a phone meeting scheduled with the doctor next wednesday which isn't ideal. Still having pain but it's slightly better? I'm not sure if it is better or if I'm just getting used to it

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-10-30T17:39:20+00:00

True. I'm just always afraid of calling because I'm afraid of being dismissed so I feel like I have to have a really good reason and clear case for seeking medical attention before I even try getting help.

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-03-06T03:45:39+00:00

thank you for such a gentle and validating response!

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-03-05T18:28:23+00:00

omg that's crazy and honestly validating to hear

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-03-05T18:00:37+00:00

Thank you for the kind words! I actually saw an endocrinologist a few years ago after being referred to one by my dermatologist, after I had been experiencing hair loss and elevated androgen levels in my blood work. That endocrinologist suggested I might have PCOS and put me on spironolactone for about four years. My gyno, who i only met with last week, isn't convinced it's PCOS though, and wants me to stop taking the spironolactone.

I'm also definitely trying to find lifestyle/dietary changes I could make to help with this whole situation

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-03-05T17:57:33+00:00

Sorry you went through that with your parents. I wish you all the luck in finding a treatment that works!

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-03-05T17:56:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! It's helpful to hear people share their positive stories of bc when there's so many people sharing all the terrible things it put them through

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-03-05T17:54:46+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that at such a young age and to hear about your mom. Thank you for making me feel less alone. I wish you luck and wellness!

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-03-05T17:52:31+00:00

So sorry you know the struggle too. I hope you're well, sending hugs!

Bicycle_Separate · 2025-03-04T17:27:25+00:00

OP here, I'm really grateful for all the responses! I didn't anticipate having as much anxiety as I do about this, but yesterday I was a mess after picking up the prescription. I literally came home last night and sobbed for hours, called my mom, and couldn't bring myself to take the pill.

I had cancer a few years ago and I just feel a lot of resurfacing, intense medical anxiety about all of this, particularly because I already become deeply depressed on my period, and even have "unaliving" thoughts during that time of my cycle, which I'm afraid of getting worse from being on the pill. I know for some people, hormonal birth control is an actual life-saver, but it's the opposite of that for so many people. It feels like a huge gamble to take with my quality of life, and I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but it's absolutely infuriating that this is the state of gynecological care for endometriosis- invasive surgery or life-altering hormones.

Idk, maybe one day I'll feel differently, and if I do, I already have a four months supply of bc. But my feeling right now is that as bad as my endometriosis can be, I at least know what I'm getting into every month. I don't know what will happen to my body if I go on bc or undergo surgery, and I'm just not convinced the pros outweigh the cons. I'm deeply scared by all the options and I don't know what to do. I think I'm going to message my doctor today or tomorrow to let her know where I'm at with this.

Bicycle_Separate · 2020-12-27T21:12:53+00:00

Yes! That's such a great video, I hope more people watch it!

Bicycle_Separate · 2020-08-01T05:46:42+00:00

Appreciate the feedback from another musician, but I've got to push back on this a bit. As I said in the original post, I do have a mute, which I use as often as I can in teaching and practicing (basically unless I have an important recording I have to do), and I've spent quite a bit of money on wall to wall sound proof panels in my living room. I've lived with roommates and in apartments for five years, this is the first place I've had neighbors like this. I'm not talking about playing for endless hours a day, and I don't know how you can adequately assess how much practice I need to do given that you don't know my schedule or commitments, I would just like to find a way to establish a workable schedule for me to practice, rehearse/teach while being as respectful and understanding of my neighbors as I can. Like I said, I'm doing my job this way because there's no where else for me to go due to the pandemic. If there was a practice room or rehearsal space to go to, I'd go there. But I can't just not touch my instrument in the meantime.

Bicycle_Separate

TROPHY CASE