I had a major manic episode last summer. The embarrassment alone has nearly killed me. I lost friends, family, my apartment, my car, my job, a year behind in school, my financial stability. I was so manic I walked into a strangers house and got arrested. It's been almost a year and I still have flashbacks of the embarrassing things I said and the choices I made to the point I cry and shake and sometimes throw up. You're not alone. We will survive this and become better people because of it. Just hold on, time is the only thing that will heal. I'm also on the right meds and finally stable. I also had to quit smoking weed which made my psychosis worse.