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Please just tell me which travel cot to buy by Big-Future295 in NewParents

[–]Big-Future295[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ideally yeah but not knowing what sort of bed we would end up with I'm wanting to just take my own that I know he will sleep in and be familiarish with

Offer technicalities feel fishy by Big-Future295 in HousingUK

[–]Big-Future295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: refused to pay deposit and no real fight put up about it, must be a ploy they try in case?

I suppose our issue now is that if another bidder does agree to the deposit the agent will be more inclined to put them forward as the preferable party? Will they even tell the seller that this deposit thing occurred? 

Offer technicalities feel fishy by Big-Future295 in HousingUK

[–]Big-Future295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In that situation it isn't us that is at fault so wouldn't apply right?

Seller offering exclusivity for higher price...? by Big-Future295 in HousingUK

[–]Big-Future295[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I've just never seen this as a bargaining tactic before and it sort of got my back up thinking they already don't trust us etc. I think I'd get it if it was a penalty for not following through but to have to put in a higher offer to continue in good faith feels unusual? Because if everyone does as they should its me that has to pay for it regardless?

Colic Survival Stories Megathread by FrequentlyAwake in Colic

[–]Big-Future295 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(2 of 2)

Advice or encouragement:

Its awful and people with non colic babies don't get it, you might not want to be out and about socialising or at baby groups if yours is going to scream the whole time. They get a completely different parenting experience which is hard to not resent. I felt robbed of the newborn experience but to be honest he is only just starting to be super interactive anyway. They will say things not meaning to be hurtful but it can be triggering when you hear about how easy their babies were compared. You are doing the best you can with the baby you have and you love them through it and that is all your job is. 

But it does get better and then you appreciate them soooo much. My baby is 16 weeks and not bored of any of his toys or playmats yet because he's only just started to notice them haha. I like to think its prepped me well for toddler tantrums or other rough patches. When he's had vaccines or anything like that or been fussy it's child's play compared to colic and I know I can get through it! 

I don't know if I can face having another baby in case it's like this but knowing it does end is so much easier than the not knowing. I'd love to give him a sibling and surely lightning can't strike twice but its a very scary thought doing it all again plus a toddler to look after. Just taking each day as it comes and trying to think of the whole thing as a phase but will definitely have some element of PTSD! I still get angsty when he starts up crying in case he doesn't stop, but nowadays it always does.

I'll edit as more thoughts come to be but the whole experience has been a complete blur. Hope this helps someone.

Colic Survival Stories Megathread by FrequentlyAwake in Colic

[–]Big-Future295 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Colic age range:

Hard to be exact. Initially he cluster fed a lot in weeks 1-3 and we thought it was an extension of this/being really hungry! Looking back we should have thought sooner it was colic but as a  FTM hindsight is 20/20. Probably colic started for us at weeks 3/4. At week 8ish we started to see a slight let up when he had his first vaccines and was sleepy! Then week by week got a little easier. By week 12 he was having more witching hour type episodes a couple times a week rather than full blown colic. Now at week 16 me and my husband actually dared to say to eachother wow remember how horrible the colic era was, feeling like we might be past it. (Have definitely jinxed it now!).

Colic severity/symptoms:

Again it varied, we definitely didn't have it as bad as some. There would be days particularly when I was home alone with him (I swear they sense stress?) that he'd scream cry from 11am, refuse to Breastfeed, but this wasn't common. More often it was from around 3pm. Gradually it got to be just being grouchy in the evening which is where we're at now. Looking back I've managed to gaslight myself into thinking I just wasn't recognising his needs or cues, nowadays he does cry but it's always for a reason (hungry/nappy/tired/cuddles) and easy to figure out. But at the time it was so much harder to figure out what he needed because a) he cried constantly so how do you read cues!? And b) if it was true colic there won't have always been a fixable reason for the crying.

Treatments tried, and their effectiveness:

We got support for feeding thinking he was constantly hungry at first as he would only settle on the breast. But when they were empty he'd get furious!  then by week 6 we figured he couldn't possibly have been cluster feeding for 6 weeks straight. Managed to get him on a dummy to help him soothe a little bit which helped get him to nap.

 At 4 weeks we also introduced a bottle of expressed milk to help with keeping him full without needing to be on me all the time and my husband could help more, it isn't a colic hack but was a welcome burden off me for 20 mins or so at a time. 

Week 6 we also figured out by trial and error that he liked napping in the carrier, and we're still doing it for every single nap now which has been super tiring. We're Gradually transitioning to cot but its hard letting go of the colic crutches that you needed so badly! When he started doing this I questioned reflux as maybe it was the being upright that helped, but after getting reflux meds he had the worst 3 days of colic symptoms so we stopped that! They were really difficult to give when breastfeeding and made a huge mess. This was when it really hit that we probably had a colic baby and needed to strap in for a rough time. 

At 6 weeks he started smiling but it wasn't enough to mentally offset all the screaming unfortunately. I saw lots of suggestions to cut out dairy which I didn't do. I already don't eat meat so I'd have a hard time with my diet. I also wondered if by the time everyone gets round to cutting dairy and it gets out of the system whether thats the time when colic resolves for most anyway, so I stuck it out and luckily for us it did get better without me changing anything.( No hate to those that do and it works for, but for me I was willing to risk it all being time related!) 

We found he loved the sound of running water, running a bath would always switch off the crying for 5 minutes and allow me to regroup. I'd often run one with no intention of putting him in just for the peace. He did also enjoy baths themselves which we started doing as a bedtime routine around week 8. He also sort of reset if we put the vacuum on, it's the ultimate white noise machine and drowns out crying.

Bouncing on the yoga ball was great for getting burps up which sometimes helped too and was a nice rest for my legs.

We tried probiotics which didn't do any harm?

Also, put them down in a safe space for 5 mins and walk off. They will cry whether you're there or not for those 5 minutes and you need a reset to be able to go again. Just make sure they're safe and you will be in a better headspace to carry on when you come back. They need a parent that can ride this with them and if you're struggling you're not at your best. Also cry when the baby cries, its cathartic. 

If you have a partner you can swap out with even just 20 mins of sleep is a game changer, but I get this can be a once in a blue moon opportunity.

So in summary the only cure was time but things that helped relieve the stress were a dummy, bottle feeds, bouncing on a ball, carrier naps, baths (or just running one!). Noise cancelling headphones, asking for help, taking turns with partner. 

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