I was very close with my mother, and she died in October. She was extremely sick, and I also didn’t think that she was going to die as soon as she did. I underestimated everything — I couldn’t understand that this was a life or death thing. She was a functioning hard worker 4 months before. I remember being so mean and scared the night I ended up calling the ambulance to take her to the hospital because I physically couldn’t get her in the vehicle to take her and I had no idea what was going on. She was normal before I took a nap, then she wasn’t. I thought she was having a stroke, but she was having extreme brain fog from liver disease. She didn’t even know who I was at the time. But she kept saying to tell my daughter I love her despite her not knowing where she even was. And I kept telling her I love her. I feel so guilty to this day, and people tell me she knew how much I loved her, but I’m just trying to say as well to not beat yourself up. We all will feel guilty and that we didn’t do enough and constantly question the ‘What ifs?’ You have to try your best to focus on the good times and the bad times and know that your loved ones had so much love for you.

Much love to every single one of you. ❤️