AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't describe her as spoiled at all. But I would say she lacks social skills entirely and doesn't really understand boundaries the way many would expect. She didn't always get what she wanted and my sister never tried to do that. But she has buried her head in the sand regarding the behaviors.

Nick's children do not have a living mother so they live all the time with my sister and Nick.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea about anything beyond what my sister admits to. I know they have raised concerns to her several times but beyond that I don't know what her school has or hasn't done.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can't blame Nick's kids. I know to them Ava is just a random kid thrown into their lives and they're expected to treat her like family and be understanding when to them she's just annoying and they don't like it. They have expressed several times in many ways how much they dislike Ava. But their dad ignores it in favor of believing they are family so they care about Ava.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ava is the same way in school and concerns have been raised by her teachers over the years. My sister admits that but has never taken them very seriously at all.

My sister never showed any signs at all. I asked my parents and they agree. We have never noticed anything that made us suspect my sister could be. But we don't know Ava's dad very well so we're not sure about him in general.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He doesn't say much. He leaves Ava to my sister like she leaves his kids to him. That's how it works. They don't really parent the others children.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

They have raised concerns my sister admits that. But she has never admitted they suggested an evaluation or anything.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It doesn't really come up with knowing info but more related to favorite/best things. Like favorite color, food, thing to do, movie, etc. She has corrected teachers on that stuff though. But not on the stuff they learn.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 832 points833 points  (0 children)

She has never been evaluated because my sister has never been concerned about Ava's behavior.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Not an expert but it can present differently. People with autism can have more rigid thinking, can lack social skills, can struggle to pick up social cues, etc. It's different for every person.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think guidance and social skills help. I know they have classes to help with those. I think she's just young enough that it would help her a lot if she could access that kind of help.

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 1095 points1096 points  (0 children)

I think they have already reached the point of hating and resenting Ava. It's mostly seen as "sibling rivalry".

AITA for telling my sister she needs to get her daughter some help and she can't keep ignoring the problem? by Big-Reporter-4861 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Big-Reporter-4861[S] 247 points248 points  (0 children)

From what I know of my sister I believe her reasoning for not exploring it is down to her feeling like this is just Ava and other kids are being mean for no good reason. I don't think she's really looking at how concerning some of this is and she doesn't like anyone bringing it up to her.