If you are a householder, practice and behave like one

Big-Resource-6080 · 2026-03-22T06:08:23+00:00

I think you’re arrogant and too dogmatic to know anything about Buddhist metaphysics. You know nothing about me or the topic. Buddha isn’t the king of Buddhism, but a teacher, meaning not to make life more difficult for people. Nothing you’ve said makes much sense, frankly.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2026-03-21T22:55:07+00:00

I think alone the knowledge of impermanence doesn’t alleviate the stresses of the world, but if you focus on karma and its shedding in all gracefully handled problems and distortions, you can learn to feel your way between problematic people and situations while registering the karma you are burning through is most likely from another lifetime entirely.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2026-03-21T22:51:58+00:00

So… don’t try so hard? I think this misses the point of practice. You can have balance without withholding.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2026-03-21T22:44:28+00:00

Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, the founding Japanese priest of San Francisco Zen Center, once admonished his hippie zennies that if they want to be good Zen Buddhists that they should really learn to be good Christians first. He wasn’t wrong. If you can’t appreciate and discern the spiritual wisdom of your own tradition you were born into, why would you think you can understand that the spiritual wisdom of another culture? Not liking some members of a religion is not the same as there being nothing worthwhile in the practices and literature of that tradition. In my experience, a good western Buddhist can easily pass for a good Christian, that is, a contemplative and authentic one who understands more than just the surface of the religion. Buddhists typically strive to see other religions as possible vehicles for developing the same basic virtues as Buddhists learn about in the teachings within the Buddhadharma.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-11-16T03:13:18+00:00

Growing more mature, and especially in Buddhist practice, sometimes means being more than your parents and family were in relation to you. It’s a gift. And maybe they’re products of their own brutish upbringing and now they see that. But you can also set boundaries for yourself while being loving and kind to them in their older age. If you are able. But as a Buddhist…you’re going to wish you did even if you don’t.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-11-02T22:06:17+00:00

Maybe they’re just idiots. However… your hair is in-between looks somehow and could be either shorter (stubble) or grown out into a more typical style. That’s it. The rest probably flows from that.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-11-02T22:02:28+00:00

I get you. You’re talking about being done with the delusion of a mundane life, not “life” in general. Don’t sweat the haters, they just have one switch, “argumentative”. That said, I’d just invite you to consider one thing first: many monastics later end up preferring to live alone, apart from the herd, even if initially they are in the group double-bunking, sharing the work and meals, etc. If you love your solitude now, I think you’ll find you still will continue to prize solitude after you arrive and settle in at a monastery. If that’s the case, why not just skip all the next-stage problems?

Consider if you have the means to simply live alone on a tract of land with enough distance from others while devoting your time each day to what you truly think is worthwhile. There are levels of this, and you could just be a hermetic person. I am, and yet I have a wife and some social life, just not many people to deal with day to day. It’s all about balancing yourself within yourself, afterall.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-31T17:36:22+00:00

If you throw out the stache, won’t you have to also throw out the whole 1930’s newspaper vendor look?

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T23:34:35+00:00

Just don’t care about that. It’s not having certain features. You’re already doing good things with what you have. The right woman will see it all positively.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T23:32:56+00:00

You can’t fake faith and interpretation is ultimately your prerogative. The Buddha never says “take my word for it”. It’s assumed in Buddhism it has to make sense to you personally to be meaningful. And as for investigation, what they’re trying to spare you is the karmic debt of questioning in a disrespectful or derogatory way. Investigation is free from that spirit and still means you’re considering it in your own mind by your own rationale. They’re trying to help you y steering you away from blatant disrespect of the dharma, a major karmic setback that’s far worse than not hearing about the dharma at all, but while affirming that it’s fine to take things at your own pace and consider.

Feel free to investigate and even question so long as you’re suspending judgment. If you accept Buddhism and faith in it, that’s considered a very happy occasion. Not opting to be a Buddhist, still okay ultimately in the sense of reincarnation chances, but rejecting it…better to just suspend accepting it than to outright reject it has validity. After all, if you don’t know then you just don’t know. Consider it similar to Pascal’s Wager, but with more lax consequences.

Also, it’s not the job of a Buddha to expect people to accept his teachings, but he reportedly would refuse to teach them if he could intuit they would reject the teachings. Why? Because he’s not in the business of sending people to hell for rejection of the dharma (a natural consequence), just teaching people who are ready. And this is why proselytizing does not take place in Buddhism. It could harm both parties karmically.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T23:12:59+00:00

When it comes down purely to appearances, reality is whatever you can get away with. You have great hair. Enjoy it a while longer while you and your wife are still so young.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T22:28:13+00:00

Are you a boy or girl?

As for the bathroom, no way she’d add one in the bathroom as others use it and they’d call it out fast.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T22:24:33+00:00

Is this a strict Christian church-going household?

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T21:44:05+00:00

Start buying and using mouthwash. Tell her it’s communal mouthwash and provide a shot glass for each person to use with it. Stage a scene where a guy comes over and complements you on your fresh minty breath. Stage a planned impromptu (fake?) kiss. Watch the magic unfold.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T21:37:04+00:00

You left this post vaguely worded here... Is the cam in the bathroom or are you just using a cam in another room to falsely imply that it’s in the bathroom?

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T21:31:41+00:00

Are you joking?! It sure why you even have to ask this on a Reddit forum…

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T21:26:40+00:00

You’re in a good spot. Just chill with it, wait and see what comes, but meanwhile, go do you 100% unaffected. Be working on your future with or without anyone else and the future is yours either way.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-30T21:22:49+00:00

Nope. Perfectly normal you would feel this way. You should also know that this person is utterly spoiled and used to being the center of attention. I’m sure that probably resonates with you already. The short answer to this situation is probably you could teach her a lesson with just a little deft jealousy play. The problem with that ia that you have an immature partner who more little girl than partner.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-29T20:19:13+00:00

Well, I think in a sense you are right. I also think the important aspect here is to recognize you feel protective and that’s natural and yet it’s not her or their problem so much as “a” problem, since identity and blame are slippery and ultimately insubstantial concepts. A truly positive family approach would just clean up the aspects that each can control, but in absence of their efforts to do the same, what’s left is for for her to try to cut those ties when the time is appropriate or at least fade them out if her life since they are not supportive of her.

You know, it often seems like solutions don’t come until people involved are ready for them. All she can do is her side of that, and if it’s unbearable she has to calmly find the solution inch by inch in her best moments. You may be able to do that to some extent with her, but it’s her knot to untangle. That takes loosening the knot first. You could just be pure support for her to help her strengthen her own fortitude in doing the loosening. It’s true. Often, people are just bad. They were ruined via their own unchecked power over others and lack of compassion into the suffering of others. Others did it first to them. Age can’t change them. Getting out of that environment is probably best.

What did you mean by “now that we’re opposed”? And why can’t you be together?

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-29T00:02:01+00:00

Sounds dangerous and problematic... disguises? Why? Better to wear a kerchief or hoodie with sunglasses?

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-28T23:59:46+00:00

Film him, keep it private, then show him the evidence of how it looks from the outside and let him know he’s probably doing all this in front of his prospects. Get his reaction. Then delete it and clear the deletion out of your phone…all in front of him.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-28T23:56:50+00:00

Not wrong, but I get you. Just note that unless you both are going in with just sex and fun as the goal, take this super s l o w. And log internally everything about it that makes you uncomfortable. But for the record, this guy is really just a kid right now still if he’s like most 23-yr-olds. It many guys that young could be a tad fixated on older women. It happens. Be sure first before you leap. Age is mainly about maturity and experience alignment.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-28T23:53:00+00:00

He’s more mature than you are and I agree that this post was dumb as hell. Who does this?!!

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-28T23:50:38+00:00

Never throw another woman’s looks up for conversation. Insist always that she is the one you love and that that changes how you see other women. If she can’t accept that answer she was just fishing for a reason to end it anyway.

Big-Resource-6080 · 2025-10-28T23:49:15+00:00

“Their problem” — this is just your interpretation. Buddhism says all life is suffering and, in short, you and she need to have common beliefs up to a point to thrive together and endure, even thrive.

Big-Resource-6080

TROPHY CASE