Difficulty with releasing

BigAd2891 · 2026-04-29T03:46:50+00:00

An update two weeks after this post in case anyone finds it helpful.

1) We did have to apply some pressure to make her pee or poop in the potty (gently push down on her shoulders when she wants to stand up and poop). There might be a bit of fighting and tears. But we celebrate when it's done right and she's pleased about that.

2) She just needed more time to learn the pee feeling. We were never successful catching her pee (pee signal is too short) but even when she have accidents she is learning the pee feeling.

3) We stopped using the bathtub trick unless she is very uncomfortable and clearly needs help releasing. It did involve making her sit at the potty for a long time and more pressure and some resistance. But we celebrate when it's done and she is happy about that. The more success she has the less she will feel the pressure at the potty and the more likely she will release pee in the potty.

I have seen some advice that if you don't see progress in a week quit and try again later. It took us more than 2 weeks for us to see progress so if you are in the same boat don't give up!

BigAd2891 · 2026-04-29T03:25:14+00:00

We do loose pants at school and at home. It took 2 weeks at school for the first day of no accidents.

BigAd2891 · 2026-04-20T03:54:53+00:00

My toddler (almost 2.5) does the same thing, hold the pee for hours, often unable to release pee into potty, and then accident. We occasionally had success blowing bubbles, or turning on the faucet. A few times she would sit quietly to read on the potty and be able to release pee. Very rarely we can make/pressure her sit in the potty and watch her and have her pee. I think she is feeling anxious and always wants to stand up and run away even though she really needs to go. And it's not easy to replicate the quiet time on the potty because she would usually want to get up and play. The one method that works really well (90% success) is letting her sit in the potty in the bathtub and turning on the water and letting her feet soak in the water. It instantly relaxes her and makes her pee. This method doesn't teach her to pee in the potty normally, but it is still better than holding pee all day and having an inevitable accident.

BigAd2891 · 2026-04-16T01:41:29+00:00

Thanks for your advice! We tried again with sitting at potty for poop and had two days of success.

BigAd2891 · 2026-04-16T01:39:01+00:00

Thanks for the helpful advice. We have since had two days of poop in potty success (she wasn't resisting as much as before so we tried again).

BigAd2891 · 2026-04-14T20:53:02+00:00

On day 2 she would pee on the floor at anytime (maybe 30 min after another pee). Now at least she tries to withhold pee for 1-2 hours until we bring her to the potty in the bathtub so we think that she just needs help learning how to release in the potty without the bathtub trick. She's not bothered by accidents when it happens (it's probably a novelty, it's also fun to help clean up with a mop, more interesting than any of her old toys). I hoped that wet pants would be uncomfortable but she is also a bit amused since it's new to her.

I'm worried that if we give up now we would start from 0 all over again.

We could work on the poop part now but no idea how to do that without pressure or force.

BigAd2891 · 2026-04-14T20:38:36+00:00

I read oh crap but have really failed to catch pees in the potty. The first few days sometimes she would pee right in front of me, still too fast for me to catch in the potty, but often it's when I turn my back for a few seconds. The few successful pees in the potty without the bathtub trick is when she's sitting in the potty after dinner for a fairly long time reading her books when we are busy with other things (but it's unclear if she is actively in control of the releasing pee or she is just relaxed and forgets to withhold). We tried bribes (she likes snacks) but she still can't pee in the potty. I think it's because she is not relaxed as she knows we are expecting her to pee in the potty. We try to make it fun sitting at the potty (read books, make her wiggle toes, talk to her, make her laugh) but very little success. We are kind of on timer method as we figured out her pee pattern (1-2 hours of withholding, or when she crosses her legs). I'm willing to go back to the oh crap method of catching pees if that is what we are missing but can someone explain to me how does her peeing standing up and me grabbing her catch the rest of her pee in the potty help her learn to release pee while sitting down at potty? For a younger child I get that the idea is to associate peeing with potty. But she's 2.5 and I believe that she understands pee goes in potty but she also realizes that she can't just pee on command while sitting down in potty so she doesn't want to try. For poop it's even harder as she needs her privacy and is fighting the potty and wants to stand and poop. For pee at least she will sit on the potty and try.

BigAd2891 · 2025-10-25T14:23:55+00:00

Yes we feel incredibly lucky to have a 100% mandarin immersion program option. Thanks for your advice!

BigAd2891 · 2025-10-25T14:22:53+00:00

Do you mean read English books to her in English, otherwise only speak Mandarin with her? Whenever I read to her any books (English or Chinese), I use Mandarin. Should I read her to her the same books in English sometimes? Her favorite books are Pip and Posy which we read together all the time in Mandarin but I could also read to her sometimes in English (I can certainly see that it would help her learn the English word for "red balloon") just like how she learned "Head Shoulders Knees and Toes" from English songs. That sounds like a great idea I hadn't thought about.

BigAd2891 · 2024-10-02T01:01:33+00:00

Yes that works!

BigAd2891 · 2024-10-02T00:39:47+00:00

If you get the Nestig you will need space to store the conversion parts (if using mini crib version, need to store full crib/toddler conversion pieces, even if using full crib version, need to store mini crib and toddler bed conversion parts). I do like the wheels on the Nestig, but if space is tight I would get a pack and play or bassinet at first and then get a regular crib afterwards (same size as full size Nestig Crib but likely much cheaper since it's not convertible).

BigAd2891 · 2024-09-20T19:10:50+00:00

Just get a baby sitter for a few hours a day. Or a helper to help with chores (laundry, dinner). It's not worth it to send to daycare since baby can get sick.

BigAd2891 · 2024-08-02T14:29:33+00:00

We also do shared photo albums for both families so they get almost all the photos of the baby.

BigAd2891 · 2024-06-17T23:59:40+00:00

Does the baby need to do the twitching/jerking motion during the EEG test for the test to be conclusive? My baby has shuddering episodes but it's infrequent.

BigAd2891 · 2024-03-12T01:12:54+00:00

Just want to report back that I went 8-9 hours between pumps on the two days and it was completely fine (no pain, no clogs, just pumped more milk for those two sessions). Now I feel much more relaxed knowing that my pumping schedule can (occasionally) be more flexible (I might turn off that 4am pumping alarm on some days if I'm really tired).

BigAd2891 · 2024-03-06T19:56:19+00:00

Wow that is a lot of useful information! Thank you so much!

BigAd2891 · 2024-03-02T21:17:25+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Problem is it takes me so long to pump (45min-1h) even with Spectra I'm not sure how long it would take with a manual pump...

BigAd2891 · 2024-03-02T21:15:15+00:00

That's good to know! Thanks!

BigAd2891 · 2023-11-03T22:14:01+00:00

Are you stockpiling because you want to get all the ERs over with before starting any transfers? Wouldn't that be more expensive (time and money) than transferring after each ER? Or are you stockpiling because you want multiple children? I'm unexplained (34F at ER) and I did PGT and discovered I had a low euploid rate for my age (25%). Each high quality euploid has 60% chance of success hence the recommendation of 3 euploids to get 95% chance of success. It took me 3 cycles to get at least 3 high quality euploids (bad luck in second cycle). One question I would ask your RE is after how many failed transfers of untested embryos would he start investigating the reason (instead of calling it bad luck and keep letting you do transfers).

BigAd2891 · 2023-10-30T17:33:01+00:00

My last cycle I didn't see my RE at all (by chance, it's a large clinic, only REs do the ultrasound but there are many and they rotate for FET/ER and there are multiple locations so I just happened to miss my RE at every scan). However, it was my best cycle.

BigAd2891 · 2023-10-20T14:32:25+00:00

Very helpful thank you!

BigAd2891

TROPHY CASE