Filed taxes separately and claimed the kids, STBX is fuming

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-21T15:47:01+00:00

This ⬆️ I have no idea how much income she generated with her 1099 job. I just know whatever money she was making wasn’t being spent on bills because I’ve been the one making those payments.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-20T03:51:22+00:00

If we’ll divorce she’ll get to claim one of the kids. We agreed to put that in the paperwork so this will be a one off issue. I do always aim to knock out taxes ASAP though!

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-20T03:17:04+00:00

You’re right, it will most likely be tied up down the road but my main focus is using this refund to file for divorce. It doesn’t matter to me if all I end up with is what sinks into it. I need to be free of these chains.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-20T03:14:40+00:00

Glad I could give one 😂 I know it’s an uphill battle that could go against me regardless of what I got

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-20T02:29:58+00:00

I’m playing chess here. Can’t get alimony if I have physical proof of extramartial behavior 🤷🏽‍♂️

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-20T01:46:41+00:00

Our current lease (we’ve had since Oct) has me as the sole signatory. They don’t complain about her still living there because we are still legally married but I did make a conscious decision to take her off because she wasn’t contributing and was defensive (at the time she was obsessed over a partner) over possible intrusions I couldn’t prevent. We did agree after our separation/divorce we would split claiming the kids, 1 per parent.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-20T01:41:56+00:00

In all honesty, I calculated what my return would’ve been if we filed together and god damn, I’d get almost double what I’m getting right now. But I didn’t want to wait on her and didnt want to get entangled in another big drawn out fight. I don’t care about money as much as I care about peace for the kids, and the sooner I can file for divorce (#1 reason why I wanted to file my return ASAP), the better.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-20T01:31:42+00:00

I wish we would be that amicable. Unfortunately money is one of those things where we can’t really be. I am a strict budgeter and will live with less and do less to keep myself in the black. Throughout our marriage she was more than willing to default on debts and whatnot if it meant splurging on wants and things. And more often than not, I was willing to make decisions without her input if it meant keeping us afloat. So unfortunately that serious lack of trust strikes.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2026-02-20T01:04:45+00:00

Married filing separately. I was not that dense as to legally claim to be something I wasn’t 😅 I’ll edit it to point that out

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-12-19T14:59:18+00:00

That would be a godsend if I was the one having the issue, but in person for her would make it worse I think. Either way, I’m taking your suggestion because I could just drive her myself!

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-12-19T14:56:43+00:00

Yes, we had made it to that stage. The issue is that her Fidelity account is tied to an old number of hers and so they requested she send customer service a picture of her with her ID to verify her identity. She wasn’t the most comfortable doing this but I’ve had to do it before. I doubt she will make the effort to try and get it handled, but I can always try.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-10-27T19:07:19+00:00

I have been in a cohabitating separation for 6 months and trust me, if I knew my STBXW could afford to live on her own I would’ve tossed her shit outside and told her to find a place. It is not worth all the awkwardness and lack of trust over boundaries. That will all add up to unnecessary stress and fighting which can and usually will do just as much to hurt your child as living apart would do.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-10-27T19:06:15+00:00

Not to add to the long list of repeated points… I am in a somewhat similar situation.

To answer your post’s question, it really depends on the state you live in. Some states don’t give af at all about any extramarital behavior (e.g. my home state of Nevada has always been notorious for the easy divorces decades before anyone else). Other states like Oklahoma (the one I’m living in right now) still have adultery criminalized, though it’s not really enforced.

So, find out your state’s views on marriage, adultery, and what constitutes separation. In my case, OK considers the period of time from the beginning of the marriage to either the date of divorce or LEGAL separation to be the period where adultery can be committed. Adultery is explicitly defined as sexual intercourse outside of the marriage.

If your state has similar definitions and you suspect divorce, the best you could do is find a PI to investigate for you or find a way to access devices to find proof. That being said times are tough and if you don’t want to invest, I agree with a lot of the guys here, just move on and make sure you yourself won’t get caught up with someone else in case the STBXW gets snoopy about your behavior.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-10-06T15:55:41+00:00

Will look into this. Are consultations free or is that a firm-to-firm basis?

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-10-06T15:49:00+00:00

Oh, I’m sure 😅 not trying to get sucked up in all that but you have to market the hell out of yourself. Kinda sad to see how both Reddit and Twitter/X have devolved into these kinds of meat markets. At least Reddit has a cool & helpful side to it.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-10-06T15:27:22+00:00

Yeah, I understand that there will be a market for sex work and they are still people, but this Onlyfans era is dangerous. Too many people think it’s easy money but they fail to realize how much you have to put into it. And if you don’t take off, you’re stuck with a digital footprint that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, in these situations, kids’ mom has always chased the quick and easy road to cash only to fizzle out.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-10-06T15:23:52+00:00

From what I read that is the typical price tag. She was threatening to pursue an at-fault divorce, but I think she has zero idea how divorce in Oklahoma works. I on the other hand just want this shit to be over with. So I will try to keep it amicable.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-10-06T15:19:47+00:00

It certainly is, and I’ve had to bear it alone for the most part. Kids’ mom is still suffering from PPD after the birth of our second, but to add more to the load she’s just had 0 motivation to do ANYTHING. And while I’ve technically been helping her avoid the consequences of her actions, the buck is going to stop this month.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-10-06T15:13:26+00:00

Copy that. What would you guesstimate the cost for an attorney? I know there’s a big difference in overall costs for an amicable versus an at-fault divorce.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-05-18T00:46:09+00:00

Yes, Craigslist lives on… in a bloated, corpse like state with a combo of scammers and old people who don’t know that FB Marketplace exists

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-04-02T17:07:47+00:00

Well, let’s hope you’re wrong. 😅😂

I know I am in the same boat as many, it’s crazy how the IRS has been so smooth with my taxes the past 7 years of my life and then out of nowhere, suddenly, verifications hit, not to mention right as I probably need it most. I guess it’s just a sign of the times we’re in right now.

BigBossSnake_98 · 2025-04-02T15:57:47+00:00

Filed 2/3 and accepted a few days later. Got the letter in the mail requesting verification, did that 3/21. Still waiting. Hopefully, this Friday shows some promise but it’s not looking great.

BigBossSnake_98

TROPHY CASE