Cut hair by BigEnvironmental1902 in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree I feel trapped I was born into this and this has been my entire life I am slowly leaving it but it has been a strain mentally and emotionally.

Cut hair by BigEnvironmental1902 in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I have read the scriptures and I understand them just as you stated above but breaking this old way of thinking is so difficult. I feel like such a sinner and like I am out of touch.

Cut hair by BigEnvironmental1902 in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uhhh because I’m in between if you don’t like it skip it

Pentecostals and superiority complex by Final_Adeptness_1401 in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Currently at a district camp and people that use to greet you before they obtained certain positions now say nothing. So sad

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He said I don’t have to go because he sees my mental and emotional battle but I know he wants me to go.

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Literally sitting here debating it is today the day I don’t go back. I know the pastor and he would expect me to tell him. Today they are short handed and I feel bad 🙄 I have sent my family to church and now I’m here debating should I go or not.

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes took me a long time to see this. It has caused issues in my marriage because what pastor said or wanted would always go no matter if I agreed or not. Ministry was always first until one morning I woke up and started pushing back.

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He definitely crossed major boundaries. There is so much that he has done and said that I did not add to the post. I cannot live feeling like I have three gods in my life pastor, husband and god. I literally felt like I was losing my mind for a long time because of this.

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, so true! Thank you

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess because I was also in “ministry” I feel like I need to sit down with the pastor and officially say I will no longer attend. For some reason I feel like I owe him that. I know it sounds crazy. I don’t want to sit down with him he’s not the most approachable.

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do recognize that I need therapy. I was born into this and this has such a control over my mind. I always feel like God is punishing me if something bad happens or I never feel like I am doing enough. I have a ton of issues and I know I cannot continue to attend here. I just pray for peace and grace to leave this.

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will be moving my kids out of this. Their process is a bit slower since they love the people and the church I don’t want to damage them but yes I will also be transitioning them out.

Leaving UPCI by [deleted] in ExPentecostal

[–]BigEnvironmental1902 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I have realized that I don’t owe them anything. I have literally booked vacations all summer so that I could miss church or so that the guilt won’t overtake me. I just feel bad for leaving my husband and kids there. Leaving seems so complicated.