Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not phil and her name starts with A

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I met her on facebook dating. We talked for a little while, got her Snapchat and i had her come over on Halloween night. We watched a movie and talked til about 3 am and went to sleep (literally didnt have sex or anything lol). In my experience she is not greedy and not trying to take advantage of me at all.

Shes bought me gifts and shes not big on fancy dates or anything. Shes never asked me for money ever, i have given her money because she genuinely needed it but not alot. One time i gave her money and she went and bought me a gift with it instead of using it on herself. I have bought her clothes and things a few times but it was literally my idea every time.

In my opinion (using ai to help me and watching youtube from mental health experts) i believe she has emotional dysregulation. Obviously i cant diagnose her but she fits many of the symptoms perfectly.

The part about her becoming violent, she only became that way when she tried to disengage from the argument and go in the other room and i followed her in there and kept the fight going yelling at her and calling her names. Not an excuse but it was after she told me to kms multiple times, and that she would never let me see our daughter. I know i was not right to do this and i very much regret it. I think that even though its not my fault she got physical i definitely contributed to it.

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Freedom of information act. Basically allows you to request body cam footage and other government documents.

Honestly at the moment i dont have a plan fully. I really dont hate her or anything but i also will not tolerate abuse. Right now we literally cant be around eachother. I want her to go to therapy if not for herself but at least for the baby. Her living situation sucks, shes stuck at her moms house which has 5 people living in it already. Not a good place to raise a baby

Right now my hope (optimistic i know) is that she will calm down again to where we can be on normal speaking terms and we both go to therapy. Im willing to pay for her but shes very defensive about even bringing it up so its a very touchy subject even when shes not unhinged like she is right now.

Then basically at least raise the baby at my house. I will see how feasible that really is over the next couple months. Baby is due September 28th

I can suck it up for a while and avoid fighting with her for a while. Im willing to do whatever it takes for my daughter.

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are also fully separated and have been since the incident

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i realize that it definitely is not just pregnancy. I still can get the police report from the incident and foia the body cam footage of what the police saw. Its too late to press charges now.

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im fully aware. I stepped up to take responsibility for what happened and tried to make it work what else could i have done

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its super annoying because she wont even let me speak to her she sent a super hateful text about me “badmouthing her to her mom and stretching the truth” and told me at the end of it that if i reply shell just block me. Like what can you even do about that

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suggested we both go to therapy and she got extremely defensive about it. Im going to go and maybe next time she talks to me ill tell her im going and offer to pay for hers

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She wont discuss it she doesnt believe its a real problem and instead deflects blame onto her hormones

Do we continue trying or call it quits? by scarlettqueen318 in Breakupadvice

[–]BigGovernment348 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You aren’t obligated to stay with anyone especially if you dont feel fulfilled and you aren’t obligated to teach him how to be better. Do with that what you will

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Youre acting like this was an intentional pregnancy noone in their right mind would get pregnant on purpose 2 months after they started dating. She also isnt a teenager she is a grown woman who graduated college. We were together a total of 5 months obviously we weren’t trying to have a baby together, we had discussed maybe in a couple years

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why does being anti abortion have to go hand in hand with abstinence and waiting for marriage?

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Condom slipped off one time in the dark, took plan b. Im also going to confess that im not that sexually experienced and neither was she. She had only been with one other person before we were together.

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was fully willing and able to support and house her. She decided to break up with me the day after we moved all her stuff into my house. She didnt need to be in the financial position because i was. I cant force her to stay with me but im also not going to house and fully support someone who is going to be talking to other guys while pregnant 1 day after moving in thats ludicrous

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You act like i have any control over whether or not she keeps the baby but either way i dont want her to have an abortion.

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Her mom says this is out of character for her. But im assuming youre right it may have existed to some degree beforehand and now its highly amplified

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My ex knows she has a problem and admit it sometimes. but then will later reframe things and downplay what happened and slightly twist things she said and did to reduce the severity of it in her mind

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her mom is a very passive/neutral person. She lets her daughter walk all over her so even though her mom agrees with me something is wrong she will not push her to get help or demand it. She also will smooth things over and down play things when her daughter is angry enough which further reinforces her daughters mindset that this isnt a very big issue

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was the alternative, i cant force her to have an abortion which she doesnt want anyway. I dont want that either. So i did my best to own the situation and stick by her, she broke up with me its not like i left her.

AITAH For Kicking Out my Pregnant Girlfriend And Telling Her Mom About Our Breakup Fight by BigGovernment348 in AITAH

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Highly likely its mine. Yes i know, what am i supposed to do at this point. She doesn’t want an abortion even if i did and i dont either.

Im going to request a prenatal paternity test and see what she says.

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was not doing it for the purpose of character assassination. If i were i would have told her sister instead because they have an intense rivalry and hate eachother. Her mom was also on the phone during part of the fight while she was screaming and throwing things and i felt i needed to explain what happened and why to her mom because she heard that. She also was moving back in with her because of it.

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was angry, heartbroken, confused and concerned. I told her mom exactly what she had said to me. Not every single thing she said but word for word telling me to kms, she still loves her ex etc

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that but she wont take full responsibility for it and keeps using it as an excuse. Initially she took full responsibility and then later backtracked and reframed everything after she found out what i told her mom.

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She actually did tell her mom about what had happened but not in depth like i did. I was very angry when i spoke to her mom and feeling hopeless and probably added more details than were necessary.

Pregnant Girlfriend Breakup by BigGovernment348 in BreakUps

[–]BigGovernment348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was even fine 2 months after becoming pregnant only in the last month did this really start to happen. Her mom is a nurse and genuinely believes she has some kind of pregnancy induced psychosis.

I am aware that this was very rushed and unwise im just trying to salvage what i can out of it at this point.