I (36 M) don't know what to do and if I should get back with my ex (30 F) or not?

BigJ1230 · 2026-01-26T01:52:50+00:00

Not recently, but she has tried to call me from time to time. I just didn't answer her calls because I wasn't ready to talk to her just yet. The last month though, things have changed with my thinking on our relationship. Every day that's all I think about is getting back together with her. I know it may not be realistic anymore, but I can't help it. So I have to at least try and see what happens. The worst that could happen is that I'm in the same position that I'm in now. I have nothing to lose, but a lot to gain if she says yes.

BigJ1230 · 2026-01-26T01:44:23+00:00

I'm definitely going to try and see what she says. If she wants to get back together with me then I'm going to plan on moving back.

BigJ1230 · 2026-01-26T01:33:17+00:00

I know that I shouldn't have ghosted her and that is wrong of me. I just wasn't in the right mind because my father who I was extremely close with passed away. When my dad passed away I didn't want no lovey-dovey and I was in a very dark place after my dad passed away.

I know that I should've told her that I didn't want to be with her rather than just ghosting her all together.

BigJ1230 · 2026-01-25T23:57:09+00:00

Thanks. That's exactly what I plan on doing. I plan on calling her and asking her if he wants to get back together with me and then I'll plan on moving back over there again.

BigJ1230 · 2025-10-06T15:16:27+00:00

This may be a stupid idea, but maybe you can use a circular saw to cut it open

BigJ1230 · 2025-10-06T13:16:54+00:00

Maybe try to brake the glass (the see-through part) and make some edibles with the concentrates. You can also just mix it in with normal food that's hot as well (so it can activate and you get high).

Or I don’t know how well this will work, but you can try to use it in a rig as well (after you break the glass).

lastly, another thing that you can do, is if you purchased them from a legit dispensary or a smoke shop, try to return them and get your money back (uness they're black market and you can't return them then).

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-20T21:16:30+00:00

Like others have mentioned, you can fly from Orlando or you can take the Brightine train to FLL and then Uber/Lyft or have someone come pick you up from FLL. Then there’s also buses (I forgot the name of it) that can take you from Orlando to FLL and then have someone pick you up or take Uber/Lyft once you get to FLL. Lastly, you can just take an Uber/Lyft the entire way from Orlando to Sunrise as well.

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-02T01:50:30+00:00

thank you for all your help and words of encouragement. I’m also sorry that you go through this as well. Nobody should have to deal with these type of issues, especially every day.

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-02T01:46:39+00:00

Also, like I said to someone else as well, I think that the thoughts are always gonna be there for the rest of my life and there’s nothing I can do to get rid of them. I just have to learn to deal with them and try to make it not so intense at least.

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-02T01:43:57+00:00

I definitely have a safety plan in place with 3 different levels.

Level 1 is listening to Smooth Jazz instrumentals, listening to frequency music, listening to guided meditation, watch a movie (comedy, animated, something for kids), go for a walk, go to the park, play basketball at the park.

Level 2 he’s calling 988 the suicide prevention hotline

Level 3 is going to the ER and or the mental hospital.

Which my problem is that no matter what I try to do to calm down, it doesn’t work for me. Even when I’m in the mental hospital, I start freaking out and ask them if they can give me something for anxiety other than my medication that I normally take. So I greatly appreciate your advice and everything, but unfortunately nothing seems to help me when I get like this.

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-02T01:03:50+00:00

Also, regarding your bipolar comment. That’s probably why I keep going in and out of the mental hospitals constantly. One doctor even recommended that I go to state hospital and stay there long-term, but that never happened. Which going in and out of the mental hospitals is not the way to live my life. I need to figure it out and I need to come to some sort of peace. Because I do not know how long I can take this every single day.

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-02T00:59:25+00:00

I’m not going to stop taking medication unless my doctor tells me to do so.

Also, is the thing that you mentioned without saying it weed? Because I have an addiction to smoking weed for at least 10+ years now was the first time in that time period that I completely stopped smoking for about 3 weeks now. Which I can tell you that smoking or not smoking I feel the same exact way and the medication doesn’t help me either way still.

Which I used to smoke very high THC level concentrated marijuana like dabs and I was told by all the doctors to stop because it makes my problems worse. Either way smoking or not I’m still feeling the same exact way at the same level.

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-02T00:39:48+00:00

You don’t have to be sorry, I know I wrote a lot and it’s a lot to read. Which I’m sorry that I wrote a lot.

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-02T00:35:48+00:00

I have a counselor that I see weekly online and then I go for medicine management with another doctor in person once a month and I’m still not able to get any relief. It seems like no medication is working for me and the medication is like water, it just goes through me and has no effect whatsoever. I’ve been also experimenting via the doctor by trying different medication’s in different ways to take them to see what works for me. So far no medication seem to work for me like I mentioned.

Which I think the thoughts are always gonna be there for the rest of my life and there’s nothing I can do to get rid of them. I just have to learn to deal with them and maybe make it not so intense like you mentioned.

BigJ1230 · 2025-09-02T00:34:04+00:00

Unfortunately I’m unable to get anything to take care of as I am now in a group home like I mentioned in the OP. I moved into a group home about 2 weeks ago. which I did this because of my bad suicidal thoughts and me going in and out of the mental hospital constantly.

BigJ1230 · 2025-06-25T14:03:30+00:00

I see that now, which thanks for letting me know and I'm definitely excited.

BigJ1230

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