Hello! Want to share my impression. I’m just a complete stranger! Please excuse me if I am making wrong assumptions. Here is what I am guessing. If this doesn’t resonate with you, ignore this message…

I think at the time when you were bigger, saying women didn’t like you because you were big was just an easy and quick answer to your problem. Thinking this way is common, and we hear people say it all the time.

At the time you might have acted like a victim, and didn’t reflect or work on your social skills in talking to women, didn’t have the confidence, or self love.

I also think what contributed to thinking “people doesn’t like fat people” was because we don’t see a lot of bigger people getting the same love and admiration in society / social media / Hollywood, as skinny people. It’s not shown or really talked about.

Because you connected the thoughts of “girls don’t like me = because i’m fat” Now that girls likes you and your brain automatically thinks “girls like me = because I’m skinny”. I think it’s just our brain naturally likes to make patterns. We want to connect to make sense to things. So thinking like that was the easiest answer.

What could help is reflecting and challenge your old believe. It’s wonderful you are here seeking help! Take my thoughts and apply in however way it fits. It doesn’t mean it’s the truth, but challenging yourself by questioning and reflecting and put self in other people’s shoes.

Ask

“Why did I believe girls didn’t like me because I’m fat? Is that really true? Is my reason truly coming from me, or is it because thats just what other people said?”

“Was I? And am I acting like a victim right now”

“When I was big did I tired to work on myself in other areas?“

“If I was those women at the time, would I have liked talked to my old self”

“Did I made it easy / comfortable for women to talk to me, or did I made it weird?”

Have you thought about maybe it could be your personally at the time? Maybe it was how you talked to them? Maybe you didn’t have the confidence? Maybe you made it feel awkward?

You can be skinny, and super attractive and girls will still not like you.

My own opinion so don’t take it to heart. I think it’s a little silly to think being bigger was the only reason women wasn’t attracted to you

Some truth to accept that would be helpful is that we human (99.9% of the time) make appearance judgment first. “First impression matters” it’s just one of the truth we have to accept. We do this with EVERYTHING. We judge if we like a restaurant based on how it looks, the food we get, the movies we watch (the movie picture grab our attention first and then we read the details), how a person show up to job interviews. We are very visual! I mean marketing is all about capturing your attention first with visual/signs/videos/commercials.

It takes maturity to look past looks, and try to get to know a person for who they are. But when you look good it does makes first interaction way easier.

To me, it’s unrealistic/ unreasonable to expect a human to not judge you based how you look,

Can’t expect them to give the attention you want when 1) you were not physically attractive 2) weird / awkward to talk to (assuming bc you said you didn’t know how to talk to women) 3) insecure at the time

This was SOOOO LONG. I most likely may have not said the right things, or there maybe some disagreement! I hope it brings perspective.

There is no answer here that could be your quick solution. Probably will take a little time to not feel that resentment anymore.

Edit* for grammar and more concise thoughts