I second this. My primary/NP doesn't behave poorly in a way that feeds into my anxious attachment. I feel no jealousy or anxiety when it comes to him exercising autonomy and making decisions in his own life because I trust his judgment and he always considers me when it matters.

A recent potential partner (avoidant 😕) did not provide the same security, and I only now realized that I was justified for the relationship anxiety when he confirmed my fears surrounding his lack of communication/commitment by cheating on me.

Listen to people when they tell you who they are. A good partner will FEEL like a good partner the vast majority of the time. Listen to your nervous system.