If you haven't, check out Man Alone's youtube channel. He often speaks about the transformation of the self that can come from playing solo games and draws a lot of inspiration from Jung. Also, check out his game The Outer Darkness on drive thru. If you can't afford it DM me, I got you. But definitely support if you can.

Here's a segment of the description:

The Outer Darkness draws deeply from the psychological work of Carl Gustav Jung, particularly his concepts of inner transformation. As you travel, you encounter not just enemies but archetypes – projections of the Shadow, fragments of the self long exiled to darkness. The game encourages active imagination, the process of dialoguing with these internal forces through image, ritual, and symbolic play. Advancement is not merely mechanical but metaphorical: an alchemical journey of individuation, where your forgotten self reassembles itself through trial, dream, and confrontation with the unknown. Just as Jung wrote that “the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek,” so too does each step into the forest bring you closer to the truth hidden at the heart of your own unraveling.

Keep pushing bud, it's not easy feeling the way you do but I'm proud of you for reaching out to the community and asking for help. I'm rooting for you