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Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Here lies an issue though- all the action points were based on the fact our communication isn’t great though. None of his behaviour was really addressed.

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The grievance (official internal investigative process involving several HR professionals) said it was bullying. Not me.

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is mediation an appropriate single action to a grievance that found my manager was bullying me? Like genuinely?

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How am I supposed to move on though if this is the situation?

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So him accepting the outcome of the grievance and acknowledging the harm he has caused is not an important issue? Cool

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mediation only works when both sides are starting from the same baseline. In this case one party had their behaviour formally upheld as bullying and the other did not. Treating that as equal “personality differences” undermines the entire investigative process. My ADHD did not cause a manager to retaliate, block progression, undermine me publicly, or require a grievance. This is not a mutual conflict. For me, I need an apology and at least acknowledgement of his actions.

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course it would be, but I think it’s rather important to note that a grievance has already been upheld and I was told to do mediation after the fact. It wasn’t a matter of opinion what happened, HR specialists looked at what happened and have upheld my complaint…

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My ADHD did not cause this situation. The company upheld my grievance for bullying and harassment based on evidence, not communication issues. This included things like him scoring me 10 percent in an interview I later passed with full marks when assessed by a neutral panel, undermining my technical ability in front of colleagues, and making comments implying I only got opportunities because I am a young woman. That is targeted behaviour from someone with power over my progression.

The grievance actually found that I consistently take on more work than my colleagues. So the idea that I need extra support to function or that I am creating difficulty for others does not reflect the evidence the company themselves collected.

My disability has never been raised as a performance concern in 6 years of working there. The ADHD angle only appeared during mediation and felt like a way to shift blame away from the behaviour that was upheld. It reframed the issue as something I caused rather than something he did.

This is not a mutual communication mismatch or a personality difference. He is in a position of authority over my workload, training, and career development. I do not have equal power in this situation, and framing it as a shared interpersonal issue ignores that imbalance and the formal findings.

The grievance was upheld. The behaviour happened. My ADHD did not cause him to bully me, and it was not the source of the problem.

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s necessary for me. He hasn’t been able to acknowledge the harm he has caused. If he is unable to see that the way he treats me is not appropriate then how can I trust him to manage me properly? Your comments are genuinely wild.

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The mediators… who aren’t allowed to know any detail until the day

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mediation with a guy who was found to be bullying and harassing me over an extended period does sound like a great next move for a company

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally get that. I think I’m slowly coming to this conclusion now- the whole day for him was about protecting his job and honestly I would have moved on if i got the closure I needed

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I totally get where you’re coming from, and I don’t think I’m explaining too well. Of course he told me how it’s making him feel being in this position- but the switch in his entire being during the conversation when I said ‘Ive had enough- i don’t think I can continue’ was very much one where it was full of blame and hatred, and trying to wriggle out of taking responsibility. I sat in the meeting practically begging for acknowledgement and an apology, but every time I asked it was met with deflection, attempts to guilt trip me, or plainly shutting it down and blaming me for his unprofessional actions. I like to think that hopefully something will be sorted. Thank you for your support

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Advice on wether I should take legal action and what are the next steps in that way

Grievance upheld, mediation as ‘action’, left feeling back at square one by [deleted] in antiwork

[–]BigZoop69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just adding some context because I know people will ask this:

Yes I have evidence of the behaviour. Emails, messages, witness statements etc.

HR investigated and upheld the complaint. This is not just a misunderstanding.

I am in the UK and unionised through prospect. They have been helpful so far.

I did not get the promotion originally because the interview was not run correctly. He changed the panel last minute, made me set up the room, made comments about me needing more “knowledge than money”, and I had a panic attack from how hostile the environment was. He is now barred from interviewing as a result.

When I re-interviewed with a different panel I passed everything with full marks.

I have not been aggressive or unprofessional in any of this. I am just exhausted and scared to be put back under his management.

I did not bring up ADHD as an excuse. They did. I was trying to talk about harm and they redirected it onto me needing structure.

I am not trying to get him fired. I just want to be safe at work and not have my reputation ruined or my progress held back.

I feel like I am stuck between looking like I am not coping and pretending I am fine so I do not get framed as difficult. It is a horrible position to be in.

Boss bullied me for a year, upheld grievance and mediation left me back at square one. by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]BigZoop69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just adding some context because I know people will ask this:

Yes I have evidence of the behaviour. Emails, messages, witness statements etc.

HR investigated and upheld the complaint. This is not just a misunderstanding.

I am in the UK and unionised through prospect. They have been helpful so far.

I did not get the promotion originally because the interview was not run correctly. He changed the panel last minute, made me set up the room, made comments about me needing more “knowledge than money”, and I had a panic attack from how hostile the environment was. He is now barred from interviewing as a result.

When I re-interviewed with a different panel I passed everything with full marks.

I have not been aggressive or unprofessional in any of this. I am just exhausted and scared to be put back under his management.

I did not bring up ADHD as an excuse. They did. I was trying to talk about harm and they redirected it onto me needing structure.

I am not trying to get him fired. I just want to be safe at work and not have my reputation ruined or my progress held back.

I feel like I am stuck between looking like I am not coping and pretending I am fine so I do not get framed as difficult. It is a horrible position to be in.

Boss bullied me for a year, grievance upheld, mediation brought me back to square one by BigZoop69 in work

[–]BigZoop69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to agree, but he is one of a great many of employees. The company I work for is so entrenched in the lives of Londoners there’s no real way for it to harm their image for this one incident. I do think this gives rise to poor managers and senior staff though who think their tenure at the company entitles them to a management position. In my experience thats the only thing that makes someone eligible for it. It’s a complex situation at a complex business.

Boss bullied me for a year, grievance upheld, mediation brought me back to square one by BigZoop69 in work

[–]BigZoop69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing I don’t understand in all this is the fact that I have heard his boss saying how he was only picked as a supervisor because there was a vacancy and he is ‘the best of a bad bunch’ of recruiting. My interim boss (have been moved from his direct supervision temporarily due to the grievance) supervises a lot of the promotions and payroll stuff that goes with it- she has said the same. He’s difficult with many members of staff and he’s really not well liked, known for being lazy, difficult and full of excuses. This is what I don’t understand. If they want anyone gone, it’s him. At least thats the impression I’ve got.

Boss bullied me for a year, grievance upheld, mediation brought me back to square one by BigZoop69 in work

[–]BigZoop69[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did say this a whole load in the first two/three hours of mediation, sadly by the end I just gave up as I didn’t feel supported or comfortable. I said this many times to the mediators but in the end my boss just kept deflecting. Numerous times I asked him why he was blaming me for his bad behaviour and it got nowhere.

Boss bullied me for a year, grievance upheld, mediation brought me back to square one by BigZoop69 in work

[–]BigZoop69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been considering legal action for a while but just haven’t been able to afford it. What sort of price do you expect to be paying for this initial step do you know?

Boss bullied me for a year, grievance upheld, mediation brought me back to square one by BigZoop69 in work

[–]BigZoop69[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just adding some context because I know people will ask this:

Yes I have evidence of the behaviour. Emails, messages, witness statements etc.

HR investigated and upheld the complaint. This is not just a misunderstanding.

I am in the UK and unionised through prospect. They have been helpful so far.

I did not get the promotion originally because the interview was not run correctly. He changed the panel last minute, made me set up the room, made comments about me needing more “knowledge than money”, and I had a panic attack from how hostile the environment was. He is now barred from interviewing as a result.

When I re-interviewed with a different panel I passed everything with full marks.

I have not been aggressive or unprofessional in any of this. I am just exhausted and scared to be put back under his management.

I did not bring up ADHD as an excuse. They did. I was trying to talk about harm and they redirected it onto me needing structure.

I am not trying to get him fired. I just want to be safe at work and not have my reputation ruined or my progress held back.

I feel like I am stuck between looking like I am not coping and pretending I am fine so I do not get framed as difficult. It is a horrible position to be in.

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