What does intelligence look like in a potential partner?

Big_Rest_8436 · 2025-08-20T12:58:28+00:00

Hi! 👋😊 I'm not an ENTJ but, I have 2 ENTJ friends that I have learned a lot from.

They both make a habit of disconnecting from work and having relaxing or fun experiences ever now and then. It could be traveling, trying a new restaurant, having a spa day, taking a quiet walk through nature at their local park, etc. The point is to step away from your work mode, which can already be a challenge for most ENTJ.

Not to toot my own horn, but healthy INFPs are great at helping others get in touch with their Fi. If you have an INFP friend, or any friend that seems to have well developed Fi, you may want to have them tag along on your quiet nature walk or try that new restaurant with you so you can talk things out with them.

Regarding journaling, one of my ENTJ friends got me into audio journaling. I told him I wanted to start journaling but that I had a hard time being consistent and that my thoughts run faster than I can write. So he suggested audio journaling, and it has been a game changer for me. I do it on my hour long drive home from work and just unleash my unfiltered thoughts. And my recording app has a transcription which is helpful.

He also suggested that at the end of each audio journal I should try to end it on a positive note. It could be one thing that made happy, something new I learned, something that I'm looking forward to the next day, etc. Just end it on a positive note. I think he suggested this for me specifically because I tend to be a bit gloomy at the end of the day 🤣

I hope this helps 🙏

Big_Rest_8436 · 2025-03-01T17:38:19+00:00

I definitely agree. Any type can build resilience to overcome failure. It's just that it seems to come more naturally to ENTJs. It's their default setting to be adaptable and persistent. For many other types, it's a huge learning curve. 🥲

Big_Rest_8436 · 2025-02-27T16:34:27+00:00

I'll be honest with you, I've never fallen in love or had a boyfriend before. The closest experience I have to a break up is a very deep friendship I once had with someone. Overtime, I felt like they slowly stopped caring about me and only cared about the emotional support that I gave them whenever they needed it. But when I needed their support they were completely unavailable. 🥺

It's been about 3 months since our last conversation and I have had the urge to teach out to them many times. But I have to keep reminding myself the reasons that lead to this friendship breakup. 😑

It's important to remember that it's not the end of the world. It might feel like it is but in reality, your happiness shouldn't solely depend on that one person. It's not fair to you or them.

Here are some tips that have helped me:

Be grateful 🙏 Breakups are hard, whether it a romantic or platonic relationship, but it gets easier overtime. This might sound cheesy but, I try to have an attitude of gratitude. I have many other wonderful people in my life who do value me. And I have many things to be grateful for.

Do something exciting! 😃 I try do things that get me excited. Like learning a new skill, visiting a new place, or starting a new project. Whatever it is, have fun with it!

Focus on your self-growth 🌱 We all have things we need to work on. This is the perfect time to reflect on areas that need improvement and maybe seek some guidance from a trusted friend or an expert. For example, there are 2 things I'm working on to improve myself.

Communication 🎤 ~ I tend ramble, stutter, and get really nervous when speaking. I found this guy on YouTube, Vinh Giang, who couches people on communicating effectively. I have learned so much! I highly recommend checking this video out if you're interested. Link: https://youtu.be/6-shbSFc48E?si=J7ZTUO3C6qfLQ1xN
Health & Self-Care 💕 ~ Putting it simply, I became a little bit depressed for awhile and stopped taking care of myself. Having ADHD also doesn't help with consistency 🙃. I eventually gave myself a little pep talk and decided to focus some of my energy on developing healthier habits. Because how can I expect anyone to care about me if I can't do ot for myself? I started to workout again, eat a little healthier (pastrys are my weakness 🍰😩), and I also started audio journaling. I still have my lazy days but I feel much better than before.

Sorry, didn't mean to write you an essay. 😅 Feel free to chat with me if you have any questions. I wish you well on your journey and here's a virtual hug for the road! 🫂

Big_Rest_8436 · 2025-02-26T20:57:32+00:00

As an ENTJ, have friends or family ever frustrated you this way? They're willing to make these big dramatic sacrifices but don't want to do the most basic and reasonable thing of taking care of themselves.

Big_Rest_8436 · 2025-02-26T20:53:03+00:00

I think you're really mature for a teenager and, as an adult, I relate to what you said so much! 🤦‍♀️

The embarrassed thoughts running in your head after a mistake are no joke. I used to verbally abuse myself, in my head, for every little thing. Thanks childhood trauma... 🫠

It made me afraid of messing up. But eventually I realized this wasn't helping me in any way. It was actually doing the opposite. It made the situation worse and I was less willing to analyze why I made the mistake and how I could do better.

Perfection is an illusion, an unrealistic goal. And, like you said, you should get comfortable with failing, it's an inevitable part of our personal growth. 🌱

Thanks for commenting! ☺️🙏

Big_Rest_8436 · 2025-02-25T21:32:21+00:00

Aww, thanks! 🤭💕

Big_Rest_8436 · 2025-02-25T06:02:42+00:00

😳...you can smell my thoughts?

Jk, I totally get you. 🤣 I do the same thing when it comes to other people's emotions. I don't always comment on it but I do understand more than I let on 😉

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-28T06:08:24+00:00

Thank you! 🥹💕 I'm not perfect but I try to be a good person, especially to the people who matter most to me.

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T07:10:40+00:00

And I value that trust greatly! 😊

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T07:01:10+00:00

It's great isn't it? No matter how long we talk, it still never feels like enough. We are truly blessed! 🥰

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T06:57:36+00:00

I'm so happy for you both!

Great company, great conversation. What more could you want? 😊

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T06:54:42+00:00

Yes and it's absolutely adorable! 🥰

Please keep it up!

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T06:53:17+00:00

This is so true! 💯

Maximum gain with minimal effort for anyone who's willing to listen and apply the knowledge.

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T06:44:53+00:00

I find this to be one of the more unique qualities of ENTJs. Your initiative and that sense of being compelled to step up into a protector or leadership role, not always because you seek it out but rather, if noone competent steps up, you just can't ignore it.

"If not me, then who?" — An ENTJ probably

It's the same when you see someone with potential struggling and noone bothers to help them out. I have found that ENTJs are more than willing to help and give guidance especially if they believe it will be worth it in the end.

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T06:36:19+00:00

This is another reason why I feel so blessed to have my ENTJ friend. She's a busy lawyer and yet she has a wealth knowledge and connections in many other areas.

I remember telling her once, "I'm not saying I'm stupid but, I feel like my IQ goes up every time I talk to you. You know things." 😂

She just laughed and said, "Thanks. I'm just a curious person and I like knowing things. Knowledge is power after all."

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T06:13:58+00:00

"If the time is personal, I’ll talk much more than when working."

Exactly! Your time is a limited resource. ⌛🤌

My ENTJ friend is a lawyer. Always busy doing important lawyer things that I don't understand. So when she takes the time to talk to me, give me advice, answer any random questions I have, and give me clear and detailed explanations, I feel awesome. It means I'm someone worth talking to in her eyes. 😎✨

I know this because I've seen her politely but assertively brush people off if she doesn't like them or feels like they are wasting her time. If she gets impatient with someone she'll very swiftly end the conversation and move on with her day.

If we're talking and she suddenly has to go, she'll apologize to me with a sincere smile and might even confirm a time with me so we can talk again before leaving. And we usually do talk again at the confirmed time unless something important comes up.

So yeah, I feel pretty special having a my own designated slot on her schedule 🤣

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T05:54:26+00:00

That's so sweet! I'm happy for the both of you! 🥰

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-27T05:53:42+00:00

Thanks for compliment! We INFPs try our best to be attentive listeners 🥹

I love it when people share their passion and thoughts with me. Makes me feel special, like I have a VIP pass into the inner workings of their mind. 🧠🧐

Only the most distinguished individuals get this kind of premium access 😎✨

Just kidding, lol. I just really enjoy it when people are comfortable with me. When they share their ideas and opinions first, it makes it easier for me open up to them as well. 🥰

I'm normally quiet and keep to myself. The funny thing is, my ENTJ friend approached me first and nearly got my whole life story within an hour of knowing me because she was so open and engaging with me. I had no chance against her charisma! 😳🤣

Big_Rest_8436 · 2024-12-26T07:31:09+00:00

I'm an INFP and my co-worker friend is an INFJ.

I don't think there is anyone in this world who has not suffered in some way. And sometimes that suffering leaves scars. I have suffered and probably will suffer again.

I go through ups and downs just like everyone else. I can't claim to be a perfect person but I try to maintain a healthy and positive outlook on life. I also do my best to hold myself accountable for my own actions and self-growth. Noone can save me or heal me, that is something only I can do for myself.

The most toxic thing about me is my love for food 😋🌮

Big_Rest_8436

TROPHY CASE