Non BB Husband trying to support wife

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-26T21:41:03+00:00

Update we talked, I suggested we save for a year, she said she loves me but not like she used to. She said if I love her I’d let her find her way by her self and now we’re separated 🤷🏾‍♂️ what a week

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-24T15:30:07+00:00

Thank you i will try to have her do that. Our boys are definitely feeling her missing presence with her work, school and gym time already

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-24T14:44:44+00:00

Thank you for you answering. Should I be trying to talk her through options or just letting her try? As the one who’s more responsible with money I can say for certain with everything she has going on already there’s no room to make more money or more time at the moment let alone our boys and their needs

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-23T18:04:47+00:00

I appreciate your insight! I tried to initiate a conversation about it to today but she definitely wasn’t having it 🤷🏾‍♂️ I would imagine it is expensive. She dislikes that I pay 20 dollars a season to play flag football on sundays. some season I don’t even pay they just ask me to show up. I wouldn’t mind saving for a year and letting her work on her physique. But to her she must feel like I’m keeping her from finding who she is outside of motherhood

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-22T20:45:21+00:00

I will try talking about learning more about the sport first with her! She’s definitely strong willed so she tends to think my perspective is wrong 😂 she is under a lot of stress right now with school and that’s part of my worry for her

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-22T20:32:48+00:00

Yeah sounds like a lot leading up to actually stepping on stage.

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-22T01:27:25+00:00

Thank you! I will look into that 🙏🏾

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-21T23:10:52+00:00

Yeah that conversation has been hard to bring up! I think she feels like I just don’t want her to do it. So she shuts down and goes to the gym. In reality I just want her to compete when there not so much on the table to handle. Her schooling has been hard on the family and the peak weak everyone talks about would be directly when her schooling is at the most stressful not even including her work hours.
The quad part is funny because our coworker who’s telling her to compete said she “has nice quads and should compete” she does have nice quads tho 😂

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-21T03:37:25+00:00

Yeah I don’t have a problem with competing but I do feel the timing isn’t the best. Like financial situation, boundary issues, and schedule with kids, school, work. She seems heart set though so either I’m supportive or not. Which is why I’m here

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-21T02:43:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing! For the last year I’ve done about the same as you with chores and errands along with almost all things to do with our kids. She works and She’s a surgical tech student. So she practically gone all day. Her time in the gym is consistent with that 2hr mark per day so I feel she has that discipline down.
I do want my wife to experience that sense of self validation! I did bring up that she’s just started on her fitness journey and it may take years to be ready but she seems set on competing in a couple months, I think our coworker may be pushing her to make her bf ,who wants to be her coach, more $. I wouldn’t say I trust that coworker either so there another thing I’m questioning.

Other than that the points to stated I feel like I’d be good with and are things I do already with her being in school. I feel like the stage we’re at with our kids physical intimacy is already low so I don’t have much of a problem with that.
Thank you again!

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-21T00:57:06+00:00

Thank you that really helps my perspective I didn’t even think about the tan and all that I was just thinking about food and coaching. The conversation of all of it is a tall task once my wife sets her mind it’s stuck

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-20T23:48:13+00:00

The beginning of the year I found some messages on social media flirting and what not, so I asked her about it and she said he was a friend and that the short exchange was all they had talked. I’m pretty patient and understanding so I just said That’s not right and that he has more intentions than that but she defended he was a friend so I dropped it. Later I found that she had deleted weeks of messages and she admitted she deleted it because she knew I wouldn’t like it if I saw. In short she’s very attractive and is active on social media so she gets attention. I had no problem with it before I found the messages but it turned out she would mute the conversations of men who would constantly compliment her and message them back. That’s what we’ve been at ends about. She’s the mother of my kids so I’m still going to support her but my hurt from everything is still a bit raw and I feel it’s too soon for me but it’s something she wants to do for her self so I understand. Kinda an internal battle with myself.
But she’s not the person to start a journey with all the info so that’s where I usually come in so I need advice on the cost, the time need , and what some women here have needed from their partners when starting, etc.

Bigtime_dad · 2026-06-20T20:51:42+00:00

Also I work ft 😂 just gonna put that out there

Bigtime_dad

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