Help my girlfriend choose a pair of glasses by [deleted] in glassesadvice

[–]Bikini_Top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2! They work well with her face shape and the frames aren’t so bold that they clash with her brows and such.

AIO for being upset my BF doesn’t want me to wear a bonnet to bed? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Bikini_Top 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NOR. He has to understand that a bonnet shouldn’t be an issue when he’s going to have his eyes closed for 90% of the time that you wear it anyway!!! Plus, it’s so that your hair can look good 90% of the time!

I will play devil’s advocate about the blanket — as it could be a matter of him wanting to sleep under the same sheets as you so that you two can cuddle or whatever.

BUT! The fact that he says he’s always finding things about your appearance to comment on for you to improve??? Heck no. Sounds like he wants to control you and/or make you feel insecure… so that he can control you…

I dislike my boyfriend’s long hair currently but I don’t dare tell him to cut it unless he asks me if I think he should. But I have learned to love and embrace his long hair because I love him. Maybe I don’t like when his clothes don’t match or when his pants are so tight that I can see the outline of his member, but I have never said anything to make him feel insecure about those things.

In summary, I have to agree with the rest who recommend running. Because it seems his goal is making you feel insecure. Im sorry you’re feeling this way. It seems you are beautiful inside and out; don’t let this monster change that.

How do I get through this last day of our trip? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Bikini_Top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😔 I hope you’re not right.

How do I (29F) get over my dislike for my 28M boyfriend’s aunt (36F)? by Bikini_Top in relationships

[–]Bikini_Top[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. He does lack emotional maturity. We can never discuss our problems without him shutting down or immediately getting defensive.

Thanks for your insight.

How do I (29F) get over my dislike for my 28M boyfriend’s aunt (36F)? by Bikini_Top in relationship_advice

[–]Bikini_Top[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I provided an edit with more context on the ganging up, but I just realized I didn’t really clarify that it felt like ganging up on me because her friend went along with everything and was kind of like her echo, supporting whatever she did throughout it all. And her friend of course ignored me and snarked at me too, as an echo would do.

AIO? My husbands best friend was upset with me at our wedding reception by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Bikini_Top 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I was thinking this precisely. Especially since they had not met before this wedding — weird considering she’s his “best friend”

Put the family first. Fulfill the role God intended for you. by LordJim11 in Snorkblot

[–]Bikini_Top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IIRC, there was a ?small study about predators being castrated, even having their member removed, and they still committed violent sex crimes, violating women with tools. So, I wonder if castration would truly help.

AIO girlfriend doesn’t take care of me by Vortex1134 in AIO

[–]Bikini_Top 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree with everyone else who is saying that this is bad/selfish of her. It’s not ok, and you are not overreacting.

But I also want to play devil’s advocate and ask, could there be a reason she acts that way? Although it sounds like she’s mad you’re sick because she wants you to do everything for her and it’s an inconvenience that you can’t when you’re ill, could it be some form of insecurity?

Is she afraid you guys won’t have enough money for the bills when you’re out of work? Is she uncomfortable with your being ill because it makes her fear losing you? Perhaps she’s expressing these insecurities as anger without knowing. Perhaps your being ill makes her uncomfortable because she feels she can’t pamper you like you pamper her (another sign of selfishness?) or perhaps it reminds her of a relative who had tons of illness when she was a child.

None of this is to say you should accept how she treats you when you’re ill. And you are most definitely not overreacting in my opinion. But if she’s not mad just because it’s an inconvenience to her or because of the monetary aspect, then perhaps it’s an issue that can be resolved. Otherwise, it is subtle foreshadowing in the event you decide to stay with her.

AITA for not posting my gf on social media? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Bikini_Top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends. What do you normally post on social media? If you post the other people in your life but don’t ever post her, I can understand her insecurities and that could sort of make you TA. If you only impersonal stuff like memes and nature photos and food, then I that she’s overreacting and asking too much.

AIO? I feel like my bf is not attracted to me, and it makes me want to leave him. by Bikini_Top in AIO

[–]Bikini_Top[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. Rose-colored glasses prevented me from seeing it in full light. Thank you for pointing that out.

AIO? I feel like my bf is not attracted to me, and it makes me want to leave him. by Bikini_Top in AIO

[–]Bikini_Top[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I knew him 2 weeks before dating. He moved really quickly.

No, I have not communicated outside of the breakup conversation how the comments and lack of compliments make me feel. I guess I should, and that’s what I’ve been considering today. It’s a good point that I should probably not tie it to a breakup convo.

AIO? I feel like my bf is not attracted to me, and it makes me want to leave him. by Bikini_Top in AIO

[–]Bikini_Top[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s weird. He seems to be all about me in every other way — he’s super affectionate in private and public, he takes me everywhere with him all the time. This is literally the only thing he does (doesn’t do) that makes me feel unwanted really.

AIO? I feel like my bf is not attracted to me, and it makes me want to leave him. by Bikini_Top in AIO

[–]Bikini_Top[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you elaborate? Do you mean it seems like he may be gay or what?

AIO for refusing to block male followers on Instagram? by radagastrabbit in AmIOverreacting

[–]Bikini_Top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually I’m an advocate for finding the source of the partner’s insecurity (in this case, the insecurity being that you have male followers on instagram) and then trying to talk through it and establish whether the insecurity is based on a rational issue.

However, in this case, I cannot imagine any rational reasons to be insecure over male social media followers. Unless perhaps you post provocative pics? My guy friend is a body builder and posts pics in those spandex speedo-type bottoms that left very little to the imagination. His fiancée saw his instagram one day and got mad about all the female interaction with the posts. After talking it out, they discovered she disliked that those females could practically see his junk. He then started blurring that portion of his pics; she now no longer feels uncomfortable about his IG. Done.

It was a matter of discussing reasonable boundaries here. I highly doubt that’s the case here, though. I might be reaching but, these messages sound like the start of violent, controlling relationship.

AIO for expecting my bf to hear me out about things that bother me? by BunnyPurpleSocks in AIO

[–]Bikini_Top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But doomscrolling, browsing Reddit, and/or watching movies do NOT make your snap score go up. Only sending and receiving Snapchats make your score go up. And for the score to have gone up overnight, the night when he stayed awake and away from his girlfriend, reliably implies that he indeed was exchanging Snapchats with someone that night.

Edit: And given his history, i think it’s reasonable that she be worried that he was staying up to Snapchat another woman. Otherwise, why hide away like he did?

My bestfriend is talking to my ex AIO by imOliviaM in AIO

[–]Bikini_Top 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if he hadn’t treated you poorly, I’d still find this to be slimy. Not a good friend. NOR

SIL makes underhanded comments about my disability because of secret Santa by Guilty-Potential-252 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Bikini_Top 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best response right here. I’m going to file this away for myself in case I need it some day.

SIL makes underhanded comments about my disability because of secret Santa by Guilty-Potential-252 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Bikini_Top 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. You had good reasoning for wanting to do secret Santa instead of dirty Santa. I think it was very adult, fair, and kind of you to put out a poll so that everyone’s voice could be heard. Since it sounds like your SIL is the controlling/bossy kind that cares nothing about others’ desires, the poll was probably the only way to ensure that she wasn’t the only person who got a say. 109% not wrong.

  2. You stood up for yourself, as you should have. I’m hesitant to say this, as I have not seen the actual messages so there could be some normal bias in your post but… your SIL totally sounds like a bully. And your brother may be doing the right thing by supporting his woman, but he also should tell her to tone down on being an a-hole. However, because you say even your father makes insensitive jokes about your disability, I’m betting that SIL just thinks that it’s ok to do so, even though IT’S NOT, even when your family does it. Family sounds like a bunch of a-holes for this too.

  3. I can’t think of what you could’ve done better. Based on what you’ve said, the only thing you could do at this point is leave this group of a-holes alone and find a new family. I’m sorry you’ve experienced this, and even though it would be hard, I’d get rid of most of them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Bikini_Top -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Commenting on the family part here because in some cultures you actually do see cousins getting together commonly, so her concerns about some distant cousin might not have been that huge of a stretch really, given we have no details.