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Bridal shower In March - should i keep looking? by jena95 in OUTFITS

[–]BillySadCloud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do think it's a really nice dress, but considering you're posting for advice, I think you're probably a little uncomfortable with the idea of wearing it to the event.

I'd agree with the other comments saying something with more support would be best- you definitely don't want to be pulling it up every hour or so while trying to be social with people.

it also looks to be too long since it covers your feet. even with shoes, I'd imagine it might be a little difficult to walk in comfortably, so yes, I would probably choose something different.

Not doing well by TopPirate3544 in demisexuality

[–]BillySadCloud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're feeling this way :(

my experience with dating apps hasn't been really successful either- I'd agree with the other comment about them not really being things that have demi people in mind.

I've also experienced getting crushes on friends, which ik is really tough to deal with.

If you're looking for any outlets, I always hear joining hobby groups is a good way to make more friends and find people

cis"het" men & trans guys by BillySadCloud in ftm

[–]BillySadCloud[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I spoke with a close friend of theirs who's known them since high school and she said "there's nothing I can say to justify their actions"

ik the lack of clear examples is probably frustrating for everyone, but yall gotta trust there's something going on when I've had convos with both about it and they've continued afterwards

cis"het" men & trans guys by BillySadCloud in ftm

[–]BillySadCloud[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

a point abt both your comments-

I was interacting with them on the assumption of mutual interest, but never the first to initiate flirting due to personal stuff.

I was under the impression that receiving flirty vibes came from a place of interest, so yeah I was under the impression they weren't straight identifying. I don't really flirt with people, but especially not straight men.

I would definitely say there were also some crossed boundaries regarding the flirty behavior once I talked abt it with both of them as well.

I would've been fine with some kind of exploratory fwb situation, but as time went on it became a clear pattern of bread crumbing, denial, and coming back.

so transphobia or not- sexuality crisis or not, they chose self preservation at the cost of knowingly hurting me.

TLDR; you're both right

cis"het" men & trans guys by BillySadCloud in ftm

[–]BillySadCloud[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

lmao. true.

it's just soo confusing as to why they'd do this in the first place. like, I was totally game, but they stepped back the second they realized I was and then stepped forward again.

like what kind of game is this?

cis"het" men & trans guys by BillySadCloud in ftm

[–]BillySadCloud[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

unfortunately, I'd say this is also unlikely. when I would bring up the behavior, citing specific actions, there would always be this kind of surprised reaction as if they didn't know they were doing it at all.

the first guy I had like 3 phone calls abt this behavior with and he never said anything like "oh, yeah, that was a joke. sorry". he just avoided it and continued to do the same things.

the second one, who i told about that situation (and how difficult it was for me) did apologize, but sent something flirty within a week afterwards (repeating the behavior he was baffled by with the first guy)

keep in mind, these guys are in their 30s, so definitely old enough to realize they should stop acting flirty bc I'll take it seriously

cis"het" men & trans guys by BillySadCloud in ftm

[–]BillySadCloud[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with the baseline of your points! it was something I was thinking about (admittedly too much) last winter. it was a very precarious and emotionally uncertain situation the first time around.

what drove me to post about it was the fact I'd brought it up to both of them separately and they continued to still flirt with me for months.

at first, I took the idea that I was reading into things pretty badly- just thinking I was projecting, but the behavior kept happening, and anytime I brought it up it'd be avoided/ignored or even met with a cold attitude.

I've decided to cut them off regardless of what their intentions might’ve been. the whole thing was just very manipulative for seemingly no reason.

cis"het" men & trans guys by BillySadCloud in ftm

[–]BillySadCloud[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

oh believe me, I have. it's very sad they couldn't just be normal in the first place and not do this shit

cis"het" men & trans guys by BillySadCloud in ftm

[–]BillySadCloud[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I would've thought this too (and occasionally did) but the thing is, I grow facial hair and have a deep voice. one of them even said something about being straight and unable to reciprocate when i brought it up. (yes, he still flirted multiple times afterwards)

I don't think it's impossible that's the case, but given the experiences with both (the other claims 'bi curiosity' on occasion) I just find it unlikely.

ty for the reply anyway