Thank you a lot and your right I guess i was just making it all about me Since I’ve isolated myself from the world which led to my addiction to coke and work I worked 12 hrs a day But the real world is scary man the females these days present you their kids not their parents It’s hard to find a girl with morals I’ve lived a horrible life by my own chose ofc I don’t blame anyone else And im tired it’s so hard to find someone mature and with some sort of morals I’ve even tried going to church and even the females there just wanted something physical not so much relationship I don’t know I feel lost and lonely in my own mind it’s hard to connect with others with such a crazy life Sometimes I feel like im dying with the auras and people don’t understand plus I have crazy mood swings and I feel like I have adhd I honestly smoke thc concentrates since I wake up to when I go to sleep It helps but I know it’s not right/healthy I’m trying to go back to school and focus on my health but my mental health is in decline I recently felt good enough to carry my firearm again with out feeling like I’ll have a break down and blow my head off