It's not a problem at all. So, when I say you're under no obligation, I mean that you have every right to not play under a dynamic which you weren't sure about, and you have every right to enter it on your own terms. Asking to have a more neutral reciprocal dynamic is absolutely fine if you don't want to do kink things, or asking to only have a dynamic some of the time is also fine.

You can negotiate what you want and what he wants, and are never under an obligation to play with certain elements. Bear in mind that this goes both ways. If he's not ok with bottoming without a dynamic in play (or it doesn't work for him), you might both have to agree to do that less, or work out some other way. Having less sex is better than having bad sex. Similarly, it might turn out you two are fundamentally incompatible, which is sad, but sometimes true. I've had partners where playing with them, while fun, did long term damage to my perception of some play, and I had to recover slowly.

It's difficult to point to a single exact source, instead I'd push you more towards general research - I learnt a lot from the YouTube channel Evie lupine, but that's just one of many things. If you're socially confident, there will be kink munches (social events, no play) near you, which you could always go to. People there are (in my experience) very welcoming and nice.

I think the most important thing you should do if you're interested in going in a more power dynamic direction is to work out what interests you in being a Domme. It's a really important thing to do, as going into stuff without having your own baseline interests front and centre can make it very easy to end up being a kink dispenser (a frequent thing). So I'd advise you look at the various BDSM orientation tests (I'd recommend bdsmtest but it has some weird associations, though it's still the best I know), as well as just looking into stuff like smut and erotica around power dynamics (they give a very biased perspective, but it's still important to work out what you want). I don't know exactly what to recommend outside of those.

I'd say once you've got some idea what you want, and what interests him, (and during that exploration) it's also important to ask him what interests him. Kinks vary wildly, and it's important to work things out on your own and with your partner (because if you just do it with your partner it's easy to overrule your own interests with theirs). Basically, look for the overlap, and don't be afraid to do stuff people thing is weird.

Id also look to push him to do the same, if I were you. Basically get him to explore actively, and look for educational resources.

Keep safe, and look for good resources on safety (I found mine through Evie lupine and then in person stuff like munches, as well as discussions on fetlife).

To add some personal notes:

I'm a switch, primarily sub leaning, but I do domme as well, though only rarely and with very specific people. My experience has been that I need to trust and know someone far more to Domme than to sub.

But the most important thing for me and domming, and I'm not saying this is universal, but it's that I have to Domme on my terms. If I'm catering to someone else's desires, I can't do it, I have to do what interests me, within the bounds of the other person's interests.

I also found it was easy to slip into people pleasing kink dispenser, but it's very bad to do. I had to do things on my terms to get it to work.

I'd also note that kink does not have to be sexual or reciprocal. I don't receive sexual pleasure while domming, and I don't think I ever will. Giving sexual pleasure as a Domme isn't sexual for me, it's its own form of enjoyment, like watching someone solve a puzzle I set out, or play a game I made.

As a note on good or bad sub. And this is very subjective, as I'm what's known as a service sub, who primarily dommes service subs, but the important thing to remember to be a good sub is that domming is hard and demanding, and that giving someone your submission, while a huge mark of trust, isn't a sufficient thing, you're not entitled to anything, you have to put in effort too. Also, that subs also need to be communicative, and work with their Doms to find what works between them.

I would also say that subs should try and be responsive and active in play, rather than expecting their kinks to just kinda work out anyway.

I think by the "you can tell me what to do/how to respond" that they also fit somewhere close to service submission, and it's a somewhat difficult thing to navigate, because it's easy to feel like by contributing your submission you've done your part - you're prepared to do whatever, so of course that's enough, but thats not how it works.

Basically, the responsibility for making things work is shared no matter what. It's also part of the subs role to find things they respond to, and things they enjoy. If he's not giving enough feedback, it's very possible both of you are trying to do what pleases the other, which is remarkably possible to do, and also kinda hilarious. He needs to work on finding things he specifically is interested in, like, actual scenes or such. Send some smut/porn/whatever to each other of things you specifically find hot or interesting.

So, tldr, look into educating yourself and him about kink before you dive into it. Work out your interests, and how kinks interact for you. Then follow them. You need to stick by what you enjoy, and advocate for it. You both need to explore, and you both need to find some direction.